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How to make my mum understand I'm too ill to travel to see her Watch

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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    As I've said, they don't include that information. They say that you're a patient, you've been diagnosed with whatever since whenever, are on whatever medications and you're compliant with therapy, then sign and date it on headed paper. They don't mention whether they think you're fit to travel abroad, it wouldn't even cross their minds. It's not like you're going to say to them you want it to prove to your mother you can't travel abroad, you say you want a general letter outlining your condition.

    They don't include their opinions like they might think you're fine to travel or you're making it all up or whatever else you think they might say. I've had two of these letters done for me, all they say is facts from your medical records, not personal opinions or judgements from who's writing it.
    What would be the point of it then. She already knows about my condition, it's not like she doesn't believe I have anxiety. I'm not paying 15 pounds for a letter outlining what she already knows.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    What would be the point of it then. She already knows about my condition, it's not like she doesn't believe I have anxiety. I'm not paying 15 pounds for a letter outlining what she already knows.
    Then what else are you expecting people on here to say? You either get evidence from a professional and show her, hoping she understands and takes it more seriously from a professional, or you just ignore her. You're not going to 'convince' her just by telling her, as I'm sure you've already tried that. You either do something practical to show her that you're actually ill, or you sit and moan about it, ignoring and upsetting her, hoping she goes away.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    You really have no idea.
    Thanks for nothing.
    Please don't let ignorant people tell you that what you're feeling is not valid or that you're not telling the truth. I myself have anxiety and while it's quite mild these days I still hate travelling and can't do so without taking medication for panic attacks.

    I'm disappointed that your GP and therapist are both acting that way. Do you see the same GP every time you discuss it? If so maybe it's time for a second opinion, perhaps someone else will not be so ignorant.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please don't let ignorant people tell you that what you're feeling is not valid or that you're not telling the truth. I myself have anxiety and while it's quite mild these days I still hate travelling and can't do so without taking medication for panic attacks.

    I'm disappointed that your GP and therapist are both acting that way. Do you see the same GP every time you discuss it? If so maybe it's time for a second opinion, perhaps someone else will not be so ignorant.
    Thanks, yeah all the doctors in my surgery know my case pretty well. But to them, im physically well enough to travel so there's no problem.
    Its not that I don't want to see my mum but I worry about having a medical emergency while I'm there, it's happened before and I wouldn't be able to go through it again.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    Thanks, yeah all the doctors in my surgery know my case pretty well. But to them, im physically well enough to travel so there's no problem.
    Its not that I don't want to see my mum but I worry about having a medical emergency while I'm there, it's happened before and I wouldn't be able to go through it again.
    Anxiety is not a medical emergency. If you're otherwise fit and well you're not going to keel over at the airport. Get over yourself and see your relatives you're upsetting by not bothering to visit them.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    Thanks, yeah all the doctors in my surgery know my case pretty well. But to them, im physically well enough to travel so there's no problem.
    Its not that I don't want to see my mum but I worry about having a medical emergency while I'm there, it's happened before and I wouldn't be able to go through it again.
    That sucks :/ they should really know better, mental illnesses can be just as debilitating as physical ones. I'm not sure what to say then, other than just be firm with your mum about it, only you understand how your illness affects you and if you really feel like you can't travel then don't hurt yourself just to satisfy someone else. A lot of people just can't/refuse to understand mental conditions, sadly.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    Anaxiety is not a medical emergency. If you're otherwise fit and well you're not going to keel over at the airport. Get over yourself and see your relatives you're upsetting by not bothering to visit them.
    You're the same user who thinks everyone should do cardio at six in the morning and clean the whole house before eight. Makes sense.
    Anxiety isn't something you can just get over. I can't believe I even have to say that. I suppose a lot of people will just never understand unless they experience it themselves. Be thankful you've had an easy life so far and don't patronise and insult the people who haven't.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That sucks :/ they should really know better, mental illnesses can be just as debilitating as physical ones. I'm not sure what to say then, other than just be firm with your mum about it, only you understand how your illness affects you and if you really feel like you can't travel then don't hurt yourself just to satisfy someone else. A lot of people just can't/refuse to understand mental conditions, sadly.
    Yeah ive been getting a lot of emotional blackmail lately mainly from my mum and my grandma. Whenever I speak to any of my relatives it's like when are you coming over? It makes me not want to speak to them anymore. It's a crap situation.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    Yeah ive been getting a lot of emotional blackmail lately mainly from my mum and my grandma. Whenever I speak to any of my relatives it's like when are you coming over? It makes me not want to speak to them anymore. It's a crap situation.
    Go and see them for two days then to shut them up. Put a brace face on and make them happy, they'd do the same for you.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    Go and see them for two days then to shut them up. Put a brace face on and make them happy, they'd do the same for you.
    'Put on a brave face' :facepalm:
    The person I want to shut up atm is you.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    Anaxiety is not a medical emergency. If you're otherwise fit and well you're not going to keel over at the airport. Get over yourself and see your relatives you're upsetting by not bothering to visit them.
    The fact that you spelt anxiety wrong is an issue within itself. As for advising other people please if you do not have anything good to say its best to remain silent.

    If a person has anxiety it is serious as anything can occur during travelling therefore the person suffering will feel a nuisance to others

    OP please get well soon and take care of yourself and ignore what glassapple has to say!
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    The fact that you spelt anxiety wrong is an issue within itself. As for advising other people please if you do not have anything good to say its best to remain silent.

    If a person has anxiety it is serious as anything can occur during travelling therefore the person suffering will feel a nuisance to others

    OP please get well soon and take care of yourself and ignore what glasshour has to say!
    Yeah, none of us have ever made a typo on our iPads... You're the one who can't get my name right.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    Yeah, none of us have ever made a typo on our iPads... You're the one who can't get my name right.
    Usernames are not of importance however details are. Please learn the difference instead of controlling how people utilise their time.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    'Put on a brave face' :facepalm:
    The person I want to shut up atm is you.
    With all due respect, why ask a question on here if you aren't willing to acknowledge anyone's advice? Glassapple has made some valid suggestions, and aside from a couple of silly comments they have acted quite respectfully towards you.

    Regarding your question however, if you have explained to her your situation and your reasons behind not being able to go visit, then there doesn't seem to be much more you can do. Does she know the severity of your anxiety, perhaps she thinks it's less of an issue than what it actually is for you?
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    (Original post by HopelessMedic)
    With all due respect, why ask a question on here if you aren't willing to acknowledge anyone's advice? Glassapple has made some valid suggestions, and aside from a couple of silly comments they have acted quite respectfully towards you.

    Regarding your question however, if you have explained to her your situation and your reasons behind not being able to go visit, then there doesn't seem to be much more you can do. Does she know the severity of your anxiety, perhaps she thinks it's less of an issue than what it actually is for you?
    She knows how bad it is for me she just doesn't understand.
    I am willing to listen to advice just not from someone who thinks it's ok to tell me to just get over it.
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    ****ing hell just had an argument with my mum on the phone. Apparently my dads been telling her that my room is a mess and I don't help around the house. I told him never again get mum to fight your battles for you, she doesn't live with us, its none of her business, and he acted all innocent like he didn't know what I was talking about. My room is my room and he is just as messy as I am. I think hes trying to spoil my relationship with my mum because hes jealous of it as we never get along. No wonder I'm so ****ed up, with parents like mine who needs enemies? I didn't ask to be born.
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    I'm going to tell her I don't want her visiting me anymore. I'm sick of her judging the way I live.
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    (Original post by Dafock)
    Nothing should should stop you seeing your mum. unless you physically cant move. You probably just don't want to go not that you cant.

    I would put on a brave face if it makes your mum happy, you can cry abut your life after it
    Wow I can't actually believe the ignorance. Anxiety is incredibly real, I deal with it myself but my mum actually has travel anxiety. At her worst point she wouldn't even leave the house. She now can go where she needs to go but not far and won't go in traffic in case she feels like she needs to get home and can't. Her problem is so bad that she has even told me she would rather die from her injuries than be taken to a specialist hospital outside of our town, should that situation arise, due to the insane panic it would cause her. Even with her 20+ year long problem, professionals never helped. They gave her antidepressants and crap that of course were never going to work, and that's about it.
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    bump.
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    Can you all please stop arguing or the thread will be locked
 
 
 
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