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Friends didn't do anything for my 30th and now setting up surprises for others Watch

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    I'm in a really bad negative mood. In November it was my 30th and this particular group of friends I am with who went to high school with me didn't arrange anything and there was little in the way of meaningful happy birthday messages. Ordinarily that would not bother me as I am not one for birthdays/

    However, the same group seem to be intent on doing things for other peoples birthdays in the same group and arranging surprises dinners and have added me into the WhatsApps for these plans. This is where I begin to think 'Wait you are arranging something here but when it was me you did sweet **** all??'. I wouldn't have asked for much even a small dinner/small gathering would have been enough.

    I just feel really down and deflated with all of this and my self-worth has taken a knocking as I thought we were all close friends and there now seems to be some heirachy. I haven't told them any of this and they are bombarding me with messages telling me to come but I know if I go my mind will constantly be on the fact that this same group, when it came to me, didn't even bother to lift a finger. And no doubt they'll look to arrange things with others in the group as they hit 30.

    Any thoughts? This has been the only chance I've had to get this off my chest.
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    Find a better group of friends. Or make a big fuss about your birthday so they actually think you want to do something instead of saying you dont really care about your birthday making them think not to bother...
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    I know that feel mate it happens to many of us.
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    (Original post by John10101)
    Find a better group of friends. Or make a big fuss about your birthday so they actually think you want to do something instead of saying you dont really care about your birthday making them think not to bother...
    Still regardless of that I shouldn't have to be dropping it left right and centre. I haven't really told them I don't care its just that I didn't make a big fuss of it. It shouldn't take all of that for friends to actually do something. This is what infuriates me the most with this. Also leading me to not want to go the next 30th and also to tell them this (not sure how useful the latter will be).
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    (Original post by JustPadz)
    I know that feel mate it happens to many of us.
    It really sucks and I want to confront them on this as they see me not coming to the next one as being anti-social and seem to have no idea that I am disappointed in them,
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    I'd drop them all. Not fun times, but maybe you don't have the friends you thought you had.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a really bad negative mood. In November it was my 30th and this particular group of friends I am with who went to high school with me didn't arrange anything and there was little in the way of meaningful happy birthday messages. Ordinarily that would not bother me as I am not one for birthdays/

    However, the same group seem to be intent on doing things for other peoples birthdays in the same group and arranging surprises dinners and have added me into the WhatsApps for these plans. This is where I begin to think 'Wait you are arranging something here but when it was me you did sweet **** all??'. I wouldn't have asked for much even a small dinner/small gathering would have been enough.

    I just feel really down and deflated with all of this and my self-worth has taken a knocking as I thought we were all close friends and there now seems to be some heirachy. I haven't told them any of this and they are bombarding me with messages telling me to come but I know if I go my mind will constantly be on the fact that this same group, when it came to me, didn't even bother to lift a finger. And no doubt they'll look to arrange things with others in the group as they hit 30.

    Any thoughts? This has been the only chance I've had to get this off my chest.
    Damn dude.

    I'd ask one of your closer friends, without being confrontational.

    Try and play it off as 'banter' first, then dig in.
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    then they're NOT your friends
    • #2
    #2

    wow I've had a very similar experience. My friends from secondary didn't say happy birthday to me but then added me into a whatsapp group chat for another friend's birthday a few days later where they were planning this huge surprise. like wtf. I similarly am not a birthday person but would obv appreciate a 'happy birthday' at least.
 
 
 
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