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It's National Storytelling Week so let's write a TSR story! Watch

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    Susanne loved it when Pedro recounted his tales of the SAS. He had taken part in all the most famous operations since the war apparently. Her favorite yarn was Pedro's role in Operation Neptune Spear when he had led a Seal Team to Osama's secret lair in Pakistan. When he explained how he had jumped out of a burning helicopter from 200 feet onto the balcony of the evil terrorist Susanne always became very excited.
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    "Oooh Pedro, what did you do when Osama came at you with his bodyguards ?" asked Susanne, trembling with excitement.
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    "imagine homeland.lsw is Osama and those cardboard boxes are the bodyguards" said Pedro to the adoring Susanne.
    "come at me bro !" he said to homeland.lsw "give it your best shot you Al Qaider mofo"

    homeland.lsw hurled a trug at Pedro who collapsed on the dusty floor of the shed. Susanne stared in horror at Pedro's unconsious form. "you killed him Osama... that was not meant to happen... but it is kinda exciting ?" she added breathlessly.
    "It's OK sweetie he's just fainted from the stress"
    "Meanwhile how about you make me a sandwich and i can debrief you ?"
    "Sure Osam... i mean homeland.lsw.... bacon with swiss OK ?"
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    Susanne sat on homeland.lsw's muscular knee and stroked his thick curly hair. He munched happily on her offering and smiled up at her.
    "Hey i think that Rambo is with us again" he said, indicating the fallen Pedro, who was now beginning to stir painfully on the floor.
    "Don't worry about him babes... this is our special time" replied his lusty admirer.
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    Just then the postman knocked on the shed door. twice.
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    "Parcel for Mr Pedo"
    "My name is Pedro thank you very much"
    "Here we are guv. There isn't any money in it."
    Pedro rubbed his forehead where a large bruise was developing nicely.
    He cautiously opened the large cardboard box which the postman had delivered.
    "Whatever can it be ?" asked Susanne from her vantage point on homeland.lsw's knee.
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    Pedro rummaged in the box. He withdrew a glass jar. "Oh my favorite"... it was Lime Marmalade.
    Next out were a pair of lederhosen.
    Then a pair of duelling pistols with silver chasing.
    "We can have giant fun now these have arrived" said Pedro.
    Susanne was intrigued, but not yet ready to abandon the knee of homeland.lsw


    "Why don't you go and get changed into the lederhosen ? We will wait for you here" she said.
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    Pedro returned to the shed a few minutes later sporting the lederhosen. he made Susanne kneel in front of the apple tree and placed the jar of Lime Marmalade on her head.
    "Keep very still sweetie.... you will be fine if you don't move"
    He took one of the antique duelling pistols and handed the other to homeland.lsw....
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    "okaaaay let's begin" said Pedro. "heads or tails dude ?" he asked homeland.lsw


    "tails then" said the tall student.

    Pedro flipped his Sovereign. It came down heads...
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    "so you can go first dude" he informed homeland.lsw.

    "we keep on shooting at the marmalade until it is hit... or until we have to stop" Pedro said. He did not have to spell out the reason why they would have to stop.

    @homeland.lsw walked twelve paces away from the tree, raised his loaded pistol, turned and fired. the ball demolished an apple three feet above Susanne's head.
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    Pedro held up a small mirror from Susanne's handbag. He walked twelve paces away from the tree and pointed the pistol over his left shoulder, aiming with the help of the mirror.
    His shot took out Susanne's left earring, which had been a model of the Eiffel Tower in pink plastic.
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    Susanne reached up to check that the jar of Lime Marmalade was still in situ. She had never really liked it, preferring the tangy orange flavor instead.
    "Come on guys, i'm getting cold down here. Plus you owe me for the earring Pedro."
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    before homeland.lsw could line up his second shot a blur of motion disturbed the tranquil scene. a large bird of prey swooped down and snatched the jar of Lime Marmalade from Susanne's neatly coiffured head.

    the bird flew to a nearby Plane tree with its booty. with its powerful claws and beak it removed the lid and then began to eat the bright green contents of the jar.
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    No sooner had it realised that this booty was unlike that of any other it had consumed of such an unearthly green colour...
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    as the mighty bird devoured more of the sticky green delicacy it pushed its head further and further into the jar... as it pecked up the very last morsels its head was so far in that it had got stuck...
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      ...susanne shrieked with delight and pulled out her HTC desire x. "I shall film this and promptly post it on Weibo, I have quite the following on the chinese social media platform"

      Homeland.lsw looked on with feigned disgust, however secretly revelled in the fact that when no one is looking, he will shoot the plump bird and eat it for tea!
      Spoiler:
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      sorry the bear for my absence, i was in Zurich for the past 5 days...glad to see Susanne appreciate my muscular knee though!
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      (Original post by homeland.lsw)
      ...susanne shrieked with delight and pulled out her HTC desire x. "I shall film this and promptly post it on Weibo, I have quite the following on the chinese social media platform"

      Homeland.lsw looked on with feigned disgust, however secretly revelled in the fact that when no one is looking, he will shoot the plump bird and eat it for tea!
      Spoiler:
      Show


      sorry the bear for my absence, i was in Zurich for the past 5 days...glad to see Susanne appreciate my muscular knee though!

      homeland.lsw gnawed thoughtfully on the plump thigh of the eagle. How different things had been in Switzerland ! The internet did not exist there so he was unable to keep up to date with TSR. He licked a blob of lime marmalade from his fingers and wiped them on the tail of the eagle.
     
     
     
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