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    My granddad recently passed on the 25th and on Friday, there will be a funeral. I say funeral but it's not really a typical funeral because my granddad's body is being repatriated and he won't be buried in England. There will be a service though to mourn him.

    Anyway, dominate figures in my family have decided that the family will wear white and everyone else has to wear black. I honestly didn't like the idea when I first heard it but I went ahead and got some white clothes. They arrived today and I tried them on and I don't feel comfortable in the clothes. It felt wrong and it filled me great stress and anxiety having to wear the clothes. It's not even like it was my granddad's wish for us all to wear white or it being part of a religious tradition. They just want us to wear white.

    I want to wear black because its more respectful and it symbolises mourning which is what we'll be doing. I also feel more comfortable in that colour too because I think its more suitable for the occasion but I'm worried about how my extended family will react to it.

    Also part of me doesn't want to accept the control these dominate members of my family are invoking. They're the ones who want to repatriate his body rather than have it buried here in England where we can go visit the grave regularly. They want to send the body to this remote village in Sierra Leone where its so difficult to get to. You have to take several different modes of transport to get there. And no one in the family will visit the grave regularly because almost all the family live in England. I can't even go to the proper burial because my mum can't afford for us to go.

    They're not even doing it for a good reason. They would never admit it but I know they're doing it for money and the land my granddad left behind that has gold, diamonds and oil. I felt so powerless during the whole arguments over the burial and I think part of me wants to wear black to regain a sense of power.

    After weighing up everything, do you think I should wear black or white?
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    no brainer this is not a fashion show. What you are going there is to supposedly mourn. What clothes you wear has no bearing on this. Just wear something and attend the funeral. That is if you want.
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    bruh...it's a funeral, not a wedding. Keep it traditional and wear black or a formal suit. I'd come back from the dead and haunt you forever and in the afterlife if you wear jeans to my funeral or dressed like Prince. Unless your gramps was a chill dude and wouldn't mind.
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    Unless your grandfather requested white, I would stick with black. It's an odd colour to wear.
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    I'm sure your granddad really appreciates that you and your family seem to care more about clothes than the fact that he died
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    (Original post by AshEntropy)
    I'm sure your granddad really appreciates that you and your family seem to care more about clothes than the fact that he died
    We don't obviously and I don't think I even portrayed it like that. That was a cruel comment
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    (Original post by AshEntropy)
    I'm sure your granddad really appreciates that you and your family seem to care more about clothes than the fact that he died
    (Original post by undine_monty)
    We don't obviously and I don't think I even portrayed it like that. That was a cruel comment
    :noway:
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    (Original post by undine_monty)
    We don't obviously and I don't think I even portrayed it like that. That was a cruel comment
    How was it cruel? It really does look like that.

    When my grandad died, we didn't all have a fuss over what to wear - hell - my brother went in his normal clothes because my granddad would be writhing in his grave if he knew that people had spent hundreds of pounds on clothing, just to make a statement or compete with other parts of the family.
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    (Original post by 0to100)
    :noway:
    Are you doing that to me?
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      same time white symbolises purity, new beginnings, a blank canvas of sorts.
      i don't think white is particularly disrespectful, when i die, i'd like my life to be celebrated, i wouldn't want a melancholy grey atmosphere.
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      (Original post by AshEntropy)
      How was it cruel? It really does look like that.

      When my grandad died, we didn't all have a fuss over what to wear - hell - my brother went in his normal clothes because my granddad would be writhing in his grave if he knew that people had spent hundreds of pounds on clothing, just to make a statement or compete with other parts of the family.
      That's what I said. If you know he wouldn't mind. I think people attending a funeral should carry out the dead's wishes stated beforehand. Me personally I would mind casual or over the top wear at my funeral and I'll make that known and hope they abide by it. I also want to be cremated. I think OPs family seems more concerned over inheritance though.
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      (Original post by AshEntropy)
      How was it cruel? It really does look like that.

      When my grandad died, we didn't all have a fuss over what to wear - hell - my brother went in his normal clothes because my granddad would be writhing in his grave if he knew that people had spent hundreds of pounds on clothing, just to make a statement or compete with other parts of the family.
      We're not fussing over it. It's just a minor part of the funeral but its important to us, to honour my granddad and give him a respectful send off.

      And I don't want to wear black to make a statement, god, you make it sound so awful. I said before that I don't think its appropriate to wear white and I don't want to do it even though it makes me feel uncomfortable just because my aunt says I should.
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      (Original post by AshEntropy)
      Well, shade. Black or White.

      I'm not trying to upset you, I'm trying to make you see that there's far more important things and starting drama over the shade of clothing is a bit silly
      OP is just asking "black or white?"

      There is no drama about that at all.
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      (Original post by undine_monty)
      My granddad recently passed on the 25th and on Friday, there will be a funeral. I say funeral but it's not really a typical funeral because my granddad's body is being repatriated and he won't be buried in England. There will be a service though to mourn him.

      Anyway, dominate figures in my family have decided that the family will wear white and everyone else has to wear black. I honestly didn't like the idea when I first heard it but I went ahead and got some white clothes. They arrived today and I tried them on and I don't feel comfortable in the clothes. It felt wrong and it filled me great stress and anxiety having to wear the clothes. It's not even like it was my granddad's wish for us all to wear white or it being part of a religious tradition. They just want us to wear white.

      I want to wear black because its more respectful and it symbolises mourning which is what we'll be doing. I also feel more comfortable in that colour too because I think its more suitable for the occasion but I'm worried about how my extended family will react to it.

      Also part of me doesn't want to accept the control these dominate members of my family are invoking. They're the ones who want to repatriate his body rather than have it buried here in England where we can go visit the grave regularly. They want to send the body to this remote village in Sierra Leone where its so difficult to get to. You have to take several different modes of transport to get there. And no one in the family will visit the grave regularly because almost all the family live in England. I can't even go to the proper burial because my mum can't afford for us to go.

      They're not even doing it for a good reason. They would never admit it but I know they're doing it for money and the land my granddad left behind that has gold, diamonds and oil. I felt so powerless during the whole arguments over the burial and I think part of me wants to wear black to regain a sense of power.

      After weighing up everything, do you think I should wear black or white?

      Hell No, wear Pink.
      Stay rebellious dude
      But sorry to hear about your grandad
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      Wear black OP. Keep it simple and decent. You even hinted towards preferring it. Maybe you should've never asked, I don't know.
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      Ignore the *******s, do what you feel is right and I see your concern; you're not attention seeking. I hope things work out and wish you all the best
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      (Original post by undine_monty)
      There is no one arguing over the colour.

      I'm done with you. I don't why you're trying to make me feel horrible.

      Don't worry about these lot
      I understand what you meant but I was just trying be funny and wanted to suggest something completely different from everyone else's answer by saying wear pink but at the same time wouldn't it be funny if you did wear pink ?
      Did your grandad have a good sense of humour, if he did then wear it to piss the family off or any colour you like. Black is boring, so is white but you can compromise by wearing black and white together
      Wear whatever makes you comfortable, not what your family want you to wear
      Ive seen people wearing all types of different colours or their normal clothes at funerals
     
     
     
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