Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

What do you think we should tell children about death? Watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    When I was younger I was brought up Christian, when close family members died I was told they go to heaven... despite my parents not really believing in Christianity. It comforted me to know that those who died were "still around" somewhere and I would one day see them again. I still felt a connection to them and that they were looking after me. However with another death of a close family member when I was a bit older, Christianity made me angry and blame myself for that death for quite a while. I didn't even really believe in it at that point but it still had this effect on me.

    When I'm older I don't really want to teach my kids any religion... it's something I feel pretty strongly against and would rather teach them what I know about the world based on science. Science doesn't know if there is anything after death though because by the time we experience it it's too late to tell anyone... I'm also not sure telling a kid that their loved one has completely gone forever and their body is decaying in the ground is very helpful and might be damaging... even if you believe it.

    What do you think is the best way to help children deal with death of a loved one?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Moura)
    x
    The truth

    • Offline

      21
      i'd just tell my kids straight up...
      Offline

      18
      ReputationRep:
      This should be moved to Religion.

      And I wouldn't talk to them about death, what the hell? Unless they asked. Which would be weird.

      Imagine if your child asked you about death lol demon child there.
      Offline

      18
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by AshEntropy)
      The truth

      Sesame Street was deep back den.

      It was funny at 1st but now it's kinda sad.
      • Study Helper
      • Welcome Squad
      Offline

      17
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Moura)
      When I was younger I was brought up Christian, when close family members died I was told they go to heaven... despite my parents not really believing in Christianity. It comforted me to know that those who died were "still around" somewhere and I would one day see them again. I still felt a connection to them and that they were looking after me. However with another death of a close family member when I was a bit older, Christianity made me angry and blame myself for that death for quite a while. I didn't even really believe in it at that point but it still had this effect on me.

      When I'm older I don't really want to teach my kids any religion... it's something I feel pretty strongly against and would rather teach them what I know about the world based on science. Science doesn't know if there is anything after death though because by the time we experience it it's too late to tell anyone... I'm also not sure telling a kid that their loved one has completely gone forever and their body is decaying in the ground is very helpful and might be damaging... even if you believe it.

      What do you think is the best way to help children deal with death of a loved one?
      If they asked, I'd be honest about it. Otherwise, I'd leave them to grow up and deal it with it how they need to.
      Offline

      17
      ReputationRep:
      The truth, it shouldn't be something feared.
      • Aston Villa FC Supporter
      • Political Ambassador
      Offline

      10
      ReputationRep:
      Best not to tell them completely, let them have some life when they don't fear such a terrible thing.
      Offline

      18
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Fallen Star)
      Best not to tell them completely, let them have some life when they don't fear such a terrible thing.
      Why "protect" children from the truths of the real world?
      • Aston Villa FC Supporter
      • Political Ambassador
      Offline

      10
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by _gcx)
      Why "protect" children from the truths of the real world?
      I don't know, compassion I suppose. But they do have to be told one day - just not all at once.
      Offline

      19
      ReputationRep:
      I'd tell my children about Heaven once there was a need for them to understand death, and explain that dead people are in a different place and can't talk to us here like they used to. I'm a Christian and I want my children to be raised in that culture even if they choose not to follow the faith themselves when they're older, and I certainly don't see the value of introducing a kid to the idea of non-existence which is the scariest concept we're capable of imagining, even if it were the case (which I firmly believe it isn't).
      Offline

      3
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Saoirse:3)
      I'd tell my children about Heaven once there was a need for them to understand death, and explain that dead people are in a different place and can't talk to us here like they used to. I'm a Christian and I want my children to be raised in that culture even if they choose not to follow the faith themselves when they're older, and I certainly don't see the value of introducing a kid to the idea of non-existence which is the scariest concept we're capable of imagining, even if it were the case (which I firmly believe it isn't).
      Well you're indoctrinating them with lies
      Offline

      19
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by AshEntropy)
      Well you're indoctrinating them with lies
      Different beliefs are not lies. Nobody knows for certain what happens after death. Nobody knows why we experience consciousness in the first place. Nobody has provided any evidence to suggest that it is directly tied to brain function, or that it ceases after death. Theoretical physics considers a multitude of possibilities for our continued existence post-death. The idea of consciousness ending is nothing more than an assumption.
      Offline

      3
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Saoirse:3)
      Different beliefs are not lies. Nobody knows for certain what happens after death. Nobody knows why we experience consciousness in the first place. Nobody has provided any evidence to suggest that it is directly tied to brain function, or that it ceases after death. Theoretical physics considers a multitude of possibilities for our continued existence post-death. The idea of consciousness ending is nothing more than an assumption.
      Lies
      Offline

      10
      ReputationRep:
      Tell them the truth,because at some point they will find out.

      Then they will think you either don't trust them. Or you are never telling them the truth.
      Offline

      13
      ReputationRep:
      We can prepare children for Death by gradually introducing them to the sight of death as well as to the concept of Death. I don't mean films showing death but real life death. They can start gently by observing insect death, such as when an ant dies from being stepped upon. Then they can gradually move up the scale to mice dying in trap's and then on to larger animals such as snakes dying of various causes.
      Offline

      14
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Saoirse:3)
      I'd tell my children about Heaven once there was a need for them to understand death, and explain that dead people are in a different place and can't talk to us here like they used to. I'm a Christian and I want my children to be raised in that culture even if they choose not to follow the faith themselves when they're older, and I certainly don't see the value of introducing a kid to the idea of non-existence which is the scariest concept we're capable of imagining, even if it were the case (which I firmly believe it isn't).

      Non-existence isn't scary.Before I was born I didn't exist for 13.7 billion years.I don't remember it being that bad.Do you think that when a dog dies it goes to a better place? How about mice or insects?Do they go to heaven? So why should human death be any different? I would tell them the truth and if I ever have a funeral the last thing I would want is for a priest to stand there telling lies.
      Offline

      15
      ReputationRep:
      When my grandad died I was given a book which explained death to children.

      It was about dragonfly larvae in a pond. They noticed that, at some points, larvae would climb up grass fronds and disappear out of the pond, never to be seen again. They made a pact that the first one to leave would come back and tell them what happened. When the first one left, it tried to fly back into the water, but couldn't do it.

      I think it's a great way to explain it to younger kids who can't really grasp the concept. Then it doesn't matter what religion you are or what you believe happens.
      Offline

      17
      ReputationRep:
      I don't believe anything happens when you die and it isn't a comforting thing to believe. I can remember asking my parents about death as a kid and being told you are dead forever. It was a bit distressing.

      I don't think I would say something that I don't believe though. I would probably say nobody knows because a dead person hasn't been able to tell us. If pushed, I would admit that I believe death is the end.

      I don't think there are any benefits to believing death is the end. I haven't really got my head around it and I don't think I ever will. I don't believe in protecting children from all negative emotions. Death is part of life and is something we will all consider. I don't see a problem with doing that at a young age.
      Offline

      3
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by ax12)
      When my grandad died I was given a book which explained death to children.

      It was about dragonfly larvae in a pond. They noticed that, at some points, larvae would climb up grass fronds and disappear out of the pond, never to be seen again. They made a pact that the first one to leave would come back and tell them what happened. When the first one left, it tried to fly back into the water, but couldn't do it.

      I think it's a great way to explain it to younger kids who can't really grasp the concept. Then it doesn't matter what religion you are or what you believe happens.
      Water Bugs and Dragonflies?

      https://www.amazon.co.uk/Water-Bugs-.../dp/0829816240
     
     
     
  1. See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  2. Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  3. See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  4. The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.