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Struggling in Second Year of Uni Watch

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    Sorry for another one of these posts as going by the board a lot of people seem to have similar problems but just asking for advice. As title says I`m currently a 2nd year at Uni, my first year in comparison, was amazing and everything I wanted from Uni, I had lovely flat mates and enjoyed my independence. However, as much as I got on with my flatmates (5 girls, I`m a guy), I think they were closer as a 5 without me and despite being my best friends here to them I think I was just a 'friend'. Nevertheless, I had no one to live with for second year so I`m here in private accommodation and its been a nightmare, I hate my new flatmates - won`t leave my room/eat if they`re in the kitchen, avoid them at all cost and the kitchen is disgusting (they`re potentially getting fined for the mess). My old flatmates have kind of got on with their lives but invited me out with them twice last term, the only two times I`ve left my room socially. I have become a recluse and spend everynight just watching youtube/netflix on my laptop, I go weeks/months without any extensive social interaction with anyone here.I`ve been so isolated and hate uni so much at the moment that I`ve been going home every Thursday-Sunday this academic year.

    To make things worse, as I`ve met no new friends I have nowhere to live next year and am put off even coming back due to how bad this year has been. My old flatmates I found out actually had a space in their house for 3rd year (one going abroad) but they chose to give it to someone else. I`ve been to the Uni`s mental health support centre and although it was just one session and realistically there`s not alot they can do, it was great just to be able to speak to someone.
    I know, I know I really should have joined societies but my social anxiety seems to have made me incapable of doing so and I think I`ve left it too late now, no one really wants to make new friends with just one year left next year and I don`t know what to do in terms of accommodation (can`t afford a studio, thinking of commuting from home which is nearly 2 hours away). I was just wondering if anyone had any advice, my fear is that I`m 21, have no friends either at home or at uni now, I`m a virgin and I`m starting to fear that this could be it for me, the rest of my life being isolated and never having a girlfriend/potential family or even just friends because of how much I`ve regressed as a person both physically and socially.
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    I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. It can be difficult to think positively when you feel isolated and like nothing is going your way. It's good that you've identified that you need help and have reached out to the mental health support team. Please don't think that making friends in your final year is impossible. I went back to uni after a year away for my final year and made new friends through clubs and societies where you will meet people with similar interests and hobbies. You have to put yourself out there even if it's scary and the mental health support team can help in terms of strategies for your anxiety.
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    (Original post by alleycat393)
    I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. It can be difficult to think positively when you feel isolated and like nothing is going your way. It's good that you've identified that you need help and have reached out to the mental health support team. Please don't think that making friends in your final year is impossible. I went back to uni after a year away for my final year and made new friends through clubs and societies where you will meet people with similar interests and hobbies. You have to put yourself out there even if it's scary and the mental health support team can help in terms of strategies for your anxiety.
    Thanks for the reply!
    Another thing, I`d like to text my old flatmates to see if they want to go out one night but as stupid as it sounds I have this fear when it comes to initiating texts and stuff, I always wait for people to text me first (often a long time), partly because I just get anxiety whether they actually want to hang out with me/ are they just saying yes to be nice etc.
    Should I just go for it?
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    Yes! I've realised that sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. The worst they can say to you is know and then you know they're not worth your time. Chances are they will say yes though as they don't seem to have any reason not to like you. People are busy and tend to go on with their lives unless you make an effort and when you do then it gets reciprocated.
 
 
 
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