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    I've had ME for roughly 3 years now (I'm 17), and about a year ago I started to notice I have a few rituals that I do everyday. I'm ill I'm at home almost 24/7 and I attend school online.

    A few months ago I mentioned two of the rituals to my ME doctor but not to my GP, (counting gulps of drink and having to make my bed specifically). I went for a mental health assessment about two weeks ago to talk about my Anxiety and low mood, I also mentioned those two rituals. They were brushed off as me trying to control things because of my illness. I know I should've mentioned it's a lot more than that, but I felt like I was listing off enough problems as it was.

    Throughout my high school life I had to have things a certain way. My pencil case and planner had to be on a certain place on the desk in a certain position, and in my school bag everything had a certain place. This was before I was diagnosed with ME. A lot of the things I do, I have only recently noticed I do.

    The things I do now are:
    - Making my bed a certain way: If I worry I haven't done it right I have to go and check. This is every night before bed, and I can spend 30 painful minutes doing this before I actually get in bed.
    - Counting gulps of water when drinking: I normally stop at five or ten, depending on whether it feel right or not. Sometimes I almost try to drown myself because I can't stop.
    - The TV volume has to be on a whole number and not a .5, (preferably on a multiple of 5).
    - Dropping cups, my ipad and earplugs pot onto a surface multiple times before leaving it alone.
    - Pressing the volume down button on my phone or ipad multiple times, and swiping between the home screens multiple times.
    - Tapping electronic chargers once plugged in.
    (There are other things but these are the ones that I can think off the top of my head - I'm pretty used to them now.)
    Because of low mood I've cut myself on occasion, and have found it hard to stop because the cuts weren't symetrical. Recently I stopped cutting myself, saw that there was a gap inbetween the cuts, and ended up making more cuts to make it look 'pretty and orderly'.

    I'm aware that what I'm doing is wrong and that I should stop, but if I don't do these things, or stop before I'm done I get low mood/feel upset and feel incomplete (I am not above getting teary eyed).

    I also get intrusive thoughts, such as wanting to be violent towards other people, and imagining horrible senarios happening in my head. I find these thoughts ellevate my anxiety. I've been reading a book that has an OCD character and whenever he does a ritual my mind goes 'that's a good idea' even though I know it's a terrible idea.

    I'm not sure whether to/how to bring it up to my GP/to MH services, or if they would brush it off as being a side-effect of my chronic illness.

    I'd just like some advice as to what to do, or if it's actually anything to worry about or not since it takes a lot of energy and time out of my day.
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    (Original post by LuciferReads)
    I've had ME for roughly 3 years now (I'm 17), and about a year ago I started to notice I have a few rituals that I do everyday. I'm ill I'm at home almost 24/7 and I attend school online.

    A few months ago I mentioned two of the rituals to my ME doctor but not to my GP, (counting gulps of drink and having to make my bed specifically). I went for a mental health assessment about two weeks ago to talk about my Anxiety and low mood, I also mentioned those two rituals. They were brushed off as me trying to control things because of my illness. I know I should've mentioned it's a lot more than that, but I felt like I was listing off enough problems as it was.

    Throughout my high school life I had to have things a certain way. My pencil case and planner had to be on a certain place on the desk in a certain position, and in my school bag everything had a certain place. This was before I was diagnosed with ME. A lot of the things I do, I have only recently noticed I do.

    The things I do now are:
    - Making my bed a certain way: If I worry I haven't done it right I have to go and check. This is every night before bed, and I can spend 30 painful minutes doing this before I actually get in bed.
    - Counting gulps of water when drinking: I normally stop at five or ten, depending on whether it feel right or not. Sometimes I almost try to drown myself because I can't stop.
    - The TV volume has to be on a whole number and not a .5, (preferably on a multiple of 5).
    - Dropping cups, my ipad and earplugs pot onto a surface multiple times before leaving it alone.
    - Pressing the volume down button on my phone or ipad multiple times, and swiping between the home screens multiple times.
    - Tapping electronic chargers once plugged in.
    (There are other things but these are the ones that I can think off the top of my head - I'm pretty used to them now.)
    Because of low mood I've cut myself on occasion, and have found it hard to stop because the cuts weren't symetrical. Recently I stopped cutting myself, saw that there was a gap inbetween the cuts, and ended up making more cuts to make it look 'pretty and orderly'.

    I'm aware that what I'm doing is wrong and that I should stop, but if I don't do these things, or stop before I'm done I get low mood/feel upset and feel incomplete (I am not above getting teary eyed).

    I also get intrusive thoughts, such as wanting to be violent towards other people, and imagining horrible senarios happening in my head. I find these thoughts ellevate my anxiety. I've been reading a book that has an OCD character and whenever he does a ritual my mind goes 'that's a good idea' even though I know it's a terrible idea.

    I'm not sure whether to/how to bring it up to my GP/to MH services, or if they would brush it off as being a side-effect of my chronic illness.

    I'd just like some advice as to what to do, or if it's actually anything to worry about or not since it takes a lot of energy and time out of my day.
    It certainly sounds like it could be OCD. I guess there is also a possibility that it is related to a special need if you have had it (or similar) since childhood. It's entirely possible that, whatever it is, your ME contributed by adding stress to your life. There is a connection between physical and mental conditions.
    OCD tends to have at least some component of control to it as well, so if you ME means that you feel like you have less control over you life, your body could be trying to cope with it by controlling unnecessary things.

    Whatever the case, I suggest you mention it you your gp and maybe consider seeing a psychiatrist and/ or therapist. I can imagine that ME could cause a lot of mental difficulties or stress that therapy could help with. Your doctor can either look into it themselves or refer you on and from there you can look at diagnosis and treatment.
    You can also check out sites like mind.org and OCDuk for info and advice.

    Hope that helps
 
 
 
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