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Is it my age or is it just me? Struggling with isolation/rejection Watch

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    I know none of you will know the answer, but i'm hoping to find like minded individuals who are in a similar boat

    At 18 I went to uni and had a blast (before I dropped out) - I partied and was social enough. I made some strong connections.

    Now i'm 25 and I am constantly alone. I haven't a clue how to interact effectively. Things are different now. I feel sick at the thought of going in and fighting through the awkwardness of not having people to sit with/eat lunch with/work with.

    Anyone else have these feelings?
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    Is this becuase of an age barrier? I'm guessing you've recently gone back to uni for Undergraduate degree?
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    (Original post by zayn008)
    Is this becuase of an age barrier? I'm guessing you've recently gone back to uni for Undergraduate degree?
    Yes, I've decided to go back and complete an undergraduate degree in a different university.

    There are others in my class who are of similar ages (26 - 50) however, only a handful.

    I think it's because I don't drink anymore, I missed out on a night out and now it seems the groups have formed and aren't interested in letting anyone else in

    When I type it out, it seems so trivial and quite childish.
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    I'm 25 right now, doing A-levels first though so won't be at uni til I'm 28! I'm so scared that what you're going through is what I'll go through at college and uni Sorry if this is a really patronising question but have you tried approaching people and talking to them rather than waiting for a group to approach you?
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    I'm 34 on an access course mostly full of people in their early 20's

    On a course of 20 people, I talk with everyone, and frequently with about 8 people, the oldest of which is 25, the youngest are 20. I'm the oldest on my course by 5 years.

    There is no prejudice from any of them about my age. Now I don't know if my classmates are comparable to your own. And you and I are also likely very different people so my experience isn't going to translate directly to your own. But if you can come to terms with age only being an issue if you make and let it be an issue, then you can at least move past it and deal with whatever other obstacles you're facing.

    From my experience, I have typically been the one to engage my other classmates. I don't know if they would have still approached me, I didn't wait to find out I got stuck in and got to know people. If your age gap is obvious you have to understand, they may think you're not interested in socialising with a bunch of kids, they might think they're just giving you the space you want.
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    It really depends on your course. Im a transfer mature student and have made zero uni friends since sept. Its not that im not trying to chat to people but the course is heavily youth orientated and theyve come up from y1 together. They couldnt care less about the ancient nearly 30 yr ol din the corner. But being on my own doesnt massively bother me. Ive got plenty to be getting on with
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    (Original post by YellowDucksOnBlueSocks)
    I know none of you will know the answer, but i'm hoping to find like minded individuals who are in a similar boat

    At 18 I went to uni and had a blast (before I dropped out) - I partied and was social enough. I made some strong connections.

    Now i'm 25 and I am constantly alone. I haven't a clue how to interact effectively. Things are different now. I feel sick at the thought of going in and fighting through the awkwardness of not having people to sit with/eat lunch with/work with.

    Anyone else have these feelings?

    I knew a 27 year old from Brazil who got on well with everyone. He will be 30 when he graduates this year.

    If you're in Cov, hit me a pm.
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    (Original post by YellowDucksOnBlueSocks)
    I know none of you will know the answer, but i'm hoping to find like minded individuals who are in a similar boat

    At 18 I went to uni and had a blast (before I dropped out) - I partied and was social enough. I made some strong connections.

    Now i'm 25 and I am constantly alone. I haven't a clue how to interact effectively. Things are different now. I feel sick at the thought of going in and fighting through the awkwardness of not having people to sit with/eat lunch with/work with.

    Anyone else have these feelings?
    I'm 25 and have gone to uni for the first time part time last year. No one speaks to me, I very much doubt if anyone knows my name. I don't like it, I dislike going and I feel it's worse because I work, you don't get the benefit of 'uni life'. I'm just grinning and baring it. Debating whether to do my masters or not, but after a recent email off one of my lecturers (who is an awful lecturer) I'm quickly going off the idea of doing my masters! Hope your ok, if you ever need someone to talk to just pm me x
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    (Original post by YellowDucksOnBlueSocks)
    I know none of you will know the answer, but i'm hoping to find like minded individuals who are in a similar boat

    At 18 I went to uni and had a blast (before I dropped out) - I partied and was social enough. I made some strong connections.

    Now i'm 25 and I am constantly alone. I haven't a clue how to interact effectively. Things are different now. I feel sick at the thought of going in and fighting through the awkwardness of not having people to sit with/eat lunch with/work with.

    Anyone else have these feelings?
    I get those feelings, because I'm self-teaching my A-levels, so I'm at home majority of the time. I personally dealt with it by taking an interest in things and keeping myself occupied, since my friends are working full time and have their own lives.

    Have you tried approaching people like AmeliaLost has mentioned?

    (Original post by AmeliaLost)
    I'm 25 right now, doing A-levels first though so won't be at uni til I'm 28! I'm so scared that what you're going through is what I'll go through at college and uni Sorry if this is a really patronising question but have you tried approaching people and talking to them rather than waiting for a group to approach you?
    Just put yourself out there and take an interest in people's lives, then friends will come along. It worked for me when I was at the Cambridge shadowing scheme.
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    (Original post by YellowDucksOnBlueSocks)
    I know none of you will know the answer, but i'm hoping to find like minded individuals who are in a similar boat

    At 18 I went to uni and had a blast (before I dropped out) - I partied and was social enough. I made some strong connections.

    Now i'm 25 and I am constantly alone. I haven't a clue how to interact effectively. Things are different now. I feel sick at the thought of going in and fighting through the awkwardness of not having people to sit with/eat lunch with/work with.

    Anyone else have these feelings?
    I could have written this word for word... exactly the same predicament here. I'm really not liking the uni vibe so I've left halls and making outside uni freinds which feels much better. Have you thought about just ditching the idea of making freinds the uni and finding the type of people who you would have socialised with before? It's really saved me from dropping out to have outside interests and trying to not isolate myself so bad.

    I don't really mind sitting alone but I'm actually a social person and missing my mates, family and old job tbh.

    Every need a chat about the loneliness of mid /late 20s uni pm me.
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    (Original post by YellowDucksOnBlueSocks)
    I know none of you will know the answer, but i'm hoping to find like minded individuals who are in a similar boat

    At 18 I went to uni and had a blast (before I dropped out) - I partied and was social enough. I made some strong connections.

    Now i'm 25 and I am constantly alone. I haven't a clue how to interact effectively. Things are different now. I feel sick at the thought of going in and fighting through the awkwardness of not having people to sit with/eat lunch with/work with.

    Anyone else have these feelings?
    I'm in the same boat as you. Eating lunch is the worst for me. I have tried to seek out the positives of the situation and think no friends and uni = no distractions. I'm forced to spend my breaks between lectures/seminars productively in the library and where I live at home I know it's only temporary. It is difficult though. Coming from an access course where everyone was in the same situation it was easy to make friends and feel connected to people but it's horrible now. I was going to move away into halls to a different uni (maybe that would have made things easier for me?) but I'm just trying to make the best of the situation now, as isolating and horrifically awkward as it is.

    It is comforting, in a sad kind of way, that other mature students are going through the same thing and it's not just me. What kind of subject do you do (if you don't mind me asking)?

    I don't know if this would be a good idea but maybe we could pull together some kind of FB group for us lonely mature students so we can kind of rant and share things together haha
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    (Original post by KatieRoss)
    I'm in the same boat as you. Eating lunch is the worst for me. I have tried to seek out the positives of the situation and think no friends and uni = no distractions. I'm forced to spend my breaks between lectures/seminars productively in the library and where I live at home I know it's only temporary. It is difficult though. Coming from an access course where everyone was in the same situation it was easy to make friends and feel connected to people but it's horrible now. I was going to move away into halls to a different uni (maybe that would have made things easier for me?) but I'm just trying to make the best of the situation now, as isolating and horrifically awkward as it is.

    It is comforting, in a sad kind of way, that other mature students are going through the same thing and it's not just me. What kind of subject do you do (if you don't mind me asking)?

    I don't know if this would be a good idea but maybe we could pull together some kind of FB group for us lonely mature students so we can kind of rant and share things together haha

    A face book group sounds a plan.... shall we make one? :-)
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    Im 18 and i have been thru dis and still am i really do hate it
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    (Original post by KatieRoss)
    I don't know if this would be a good idea but maybe we could pull together some kind of FB group for us lonely mature students so we can kind of rant and share things together haha
    Or you could make use of the dedicated Mature Student's Chat thread: https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho...146578&page=81

    It's the perfect venue for ranting and sharing experiences.
 
 
 
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