Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
Turn on thread page Beta

Just hung phone up on my Nan... Should I call back ? (Situation re Trump/Muslim Ban) watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Hi TSR,
    Little bit of an odd one, but I don't know what to do so I'll ask you.
    Nan says how stupid the Donald Trump ban is, I could deal with this because there are two valid arguments for him visiting on a state visit or not. Went along with it because its just easier to agree than disagree. Personally, I've signed it as do not think someone who discriminates against Muslims should be invited to the UK on state visit.
    Then, she goes on a twist insulting all Muslims and saying "its a disgrace we have a Muslim mayor of London, they should not be allowed any power of authority because you know, you don't know what they might be planning" and some more offensive remarks were made, which I wont repeat.
    I tried to say how this is unfair as it does not represent Muslims and ended up getting shouted at down the phone, so I hung up.

    My Nan is lonely and so I make sure I call her at least four times a week and have a good chat, she's said some controversial stuff before but I've ignored it.
    I don't want to leave her on a Sunday night on bad terms when I could be only person this weekend she has spoken to but at the same time I do not wish to be shouted at for standing up against discrimination, it's something I cant let slide.

    Thoughts ?
    What would you do ?

    Thanks
    Lee
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    She's still your grandmother. As you get older you become more and more unreasonable. It may be hard to stomach but I'm afraid it's something you'll have to accept.

    You said yourself she's lonely, and it's lovely that you call her that often. You don't want to be on bad terms with her. My advice would be to ignore her outbursts, and if you absolutely must then disagree with her, but don't hang up the phone. The best policy I would say is to try and steer her away from anything political.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I guess I feel slightly bad for hanging up the phone
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lee1999wright)
    I guess I feel slightly bad for hanging up the phone
    To be honest, I'd say the best thing to do is to simply change the subject. If she starts a rant about politics, just ask her how her day was or talk about cooking or something.
    • Section Leader
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Peer Support Volunteers
    She's your nan. Of course you should call her back, don't be so rude. The point of a debate is to listen to the other person's point of view and then explain to them what yours is, respectfully. Just because she doesn't agree, doesn't then mean you hang up on her because you don't like being disagreed with. Think of how this behaviour will make her feel, you're her grandchild. There's absolutely no need for it OP.

    I don't agree with her either, but that doesn't mean I would hang up on her. I would explain why I don't agree and if we weren't getting anywhere I'd change the subject. Some people don't want to change their views, you just have to let them get on with it. Not everyone is going to agree with you, unfortunately. That's just how it is.

    If politics gets you both riled up, fine. Talk about something else with her. Please ring her back and apologise. :yy:
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    Falling out with a family member because their political views are right wing. The hallmark of a raging SJW.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    But why were you discussing politics with your nanny?
    • Study Helper
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Study Helper
    It's for good reason that the general advice, if you want to avoid conflict and bad feelings, is:

    Don't talk about politics.
    Don't talk about religion.
    Don't talk about sex.

    Older people (pensioner age and beyond) may not have had the cultural exposure and educational privileges now widely taken for granted by younger generations.

    Call your Nan, tell her you feel bad and apologise for being so rude (and hope she is gracious enough to do the same) and then change the topic ending the call on a positive note.

    Life is far too short to get hung up in media frenzies.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Please call Grandmother back. Grandmothers are very special and should be treated with respect.
    • Community Assistant
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Very Important Poster
    I've done similar things before so can sympathise. My Nan is quite religious and in the past I've tried to dissuade her. It upset me that she was against me being homosexual or more importantly, that she'd refuse certain medical procedures because of her beliefs.
    I've hung up in the past out of frustration.

    But having done that, I will say it isn't worth it. You should call her and apologise.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Falling out with a family member because their political views are right wing. The hallmark of a raging SJW.
    Going against someone who's implying that muslims are planning a terrorist attack doesn't make you an SJW.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by uberteknik)
    Don't talk about sex.
    But they're the most experienced!

    Don't worry OP. Talk to her. Take a trip to Swiss. Maybe she can finally have some rest.

    Jk. Sorry. Bad joke.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kvothe the Arcane)
    that she'd refuse certain medical procedures because of her beliefs.
    Oran donation?
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    (Original post by Johnny Sinner)
    Going against someone who's implying that muslims are planning a terrorist attack doesn't make you an SJW.
    No, but putting the phone down on them because you're disgusted by them and their views to the point that you now refuse to talk to them any longer, does just that.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Call her back and make sure she isn't reading The Sun or Daily Mail, old people tend to
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    What you have to understand is that when she was a little girl England was full of, well, English people. It has been for centuries. Rightly or wrongly, a lot of the older generation must feel they don't live in their own country anymore. That must be incredibly difficult to just accept.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    lol it's like Brexit all over again.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by markova21)
    What you have to understand is that when she was a little girl England was full of, well, English people. It has been for centuries. Rightly or wrongly, a lot of the older generation must feel they don't live in their own country anymore. That must be incredibly difficult to just accept.
    Exactly - their country and communities have changed beyond all recognition and many feel without their consent either. It's too easy just to casually dismiss this as 'old people being old' but I think that's just disrespectful and patronising.
    • #1
    #1

    you never know when ur nan might die and then you will wish you had rung her back if that was the last time u ever spoke to her
    sorry to be morbid lol
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    And this is why talking about politics with any family memeber is a bad idea.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 25, 2018
Poll
“Yanny” or “Laurel”
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.