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    As the title suggests I could do with some advice on my ex. When we dated over two years ago, we were both still in college, and I was 19 and she was 17, and we were only actually together for a few months. She finished with me, and put it down to a few reasons, which in hindsight I find understandable; she'd pretty much been dumped by her ex not long before seeing me, we both weren't the happiest of people because we had spells of depression but mine was pretty severe, I was a bit clingy, and I was a v at the time and she didn't know if she wanted to have the responsibility of taking it with me already having been overly attached. And after she broke up with me (over Skype from a different city), I hadn't dealt with any proper breakups before and made every mistake in the book, and it took a while for me to stop pestering her, and she said that she thought it had her pushed her away too much for her to see her liking me again. However, she did admit that no one made her laugh more, and I was the perfect bf if she'd given me the opportunity to calm down.
    Fast forward to now, and we've barely spoken or seen each other in the time since we ended, and in that time, she's dated two guys, one of which was a bf for quite a long time. I've also dated two people, and lost my v. I've completely changed; without sounding big headed I've become pretty popular in general, but especially on local nights out, I dress a lot smarter and more formal now, my hair's better, my tattoos have boosted my confidence ten-fold, and I've really come out of my shell and do a lot more with my spare time. I've even gotten rid of the depression for good (which she knows about). Quite a few girls seem like me, but they never work out, or their situations don't suit more than just a bit of fwb which isn't what I want. She's also shaken off her friends who used to stir up stuff between us, but become less popular, and I'm now friends with some of her old ones who are genuine, the people she's friends with now, and have even got back in contact with our old best friend in common.
    Since just before the new year, I've put funny videos on my snapchat story a couple of times, and both times she's messaged me saying they made her laugh, the first time turned into a lengthy conversation til the early hours. I've also seen her whilst out twice. The first time she noticed me straight away in a crowd and briefly spoke later, and on Friday just gone she was talking to her last ex, but shouted me over for a hug (unusual) as if she blew him off, we spoke a bit with our mate in the smoking area, and we had a little boogie. And then after messaging her once yesterday, it went quiet for a while and the to my surprise she messaged me later on in the evening.
    I don't want to hurt myself thinking too far into stuff, but I would just love to get back with her, or even just be best mates again. But I don't want to seem like a pest and continue messaging her, especially if she really doesn't fancy me still. Any advice? (Sorry about the essay)
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    Please help? Any body? I know it's a lot of reading but I really am lost with what to do any suggestions welcome!
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    Usually ex's are ex's for a reason but if you both feel there may still be something there then you both need to talk about it.
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    Try becoming closer friends with her first then see if it naturally flows trying to force it is like trying to force jigsaw peices even if they fit the slots break so yea hang out more see if old feelings or new feelings re-emerge good luck my friend
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    Wow quite a bit.. I'd say when you both broke up you were both younger and in different situations compared to now. The fact that you both keep bumping or coming across eachother may suggest that maybe you both could start off as friends again and see where it goes... you never kno, if nothing happens atleast you won't be left what the "what ifs" and will know it jus wasn't meant to be.
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    (Original post by Amina190)
    Wow quite a bit.. I'd say when you both broke up you were both younger and in different situations compared to now. The fact that you both keep bumping or coming across eachother may suggest that maybe you both could start off as friends again and see where it goes... you never kno, if nothing happens atleast you won't be left what the "what ifs" and will know it jus wasn't meant to be.
    Thanks for the responses guys, really appreciate it. We were definitely younger, we were even living in different cities and I've moved back to our home city where she also lives, and I'm now in my final year at uni, as opposed to a fresher in an unfamiliar city. She's also got herself into stable employment.

    I'm not so self-deluding as to think like oh since we've spoken a bit here and there, and that I've seen her in a club that we both love, it's a sign that she must secretly want me again, but I guess I have seen it as a sign of optimism.

    Any suggestions on how to try and initiate friendship again? Like it's easy to say 'ask to meet up', but I don't want to be too full on seeing as I don't know where I stand, and we talk, but I don't want to presume an occasional polite chat is a hint at her wanting to talk all the time etc
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    It sounds like she might be interested in you again, especially if she's messaging you out of the blue. Try talking to her more, getting to know her, let her know how you've changed for the better. Then when it feels right ask her to come for food or some fun date you can have so you can have more one on one time to hopefully talk through what you two are romantically... Good luck!
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    (Original post by sianwilks)
    It sounds like she might be interested in you again, especially if she's messaging you out of the blue. Try talking to her more, getting to know her, let her know how you've changed for the better. Then when it feels right ask her to come for food or some fun date you can have so you can have more one on one time to hopefully talk through what you two are romantically... Good luck!
    Thank you! I'll see what I can do depending on how much she feels comfortable talking to me without her getting spooked and being able to tell I have motive, or getting on her nerves
 
 
 
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