Since Christmas my mental health has been declining quite rapidly. I've ended up in hospital three times since the start of the year and been threatened with sectioning multiple times. I currently see my GP weekly, someone from uni support weekly, have a mentor and see the CMHT weekly as well.
To say that these appointments take it out of me is an understatement! I'm left feeling really drained and tired all the time, I spend most of my day in bed either staring at the ceiling or sleeping and then most of the night wide awake.
Focusing on uni work has become a nightmare and I've managed to attend an hour of lectures in the past 2 weeks. My course friends are guessing that something is up although they don't really know much about it, and they just keep telling me how much I'm missing and emphasising the fact that I'm not going to do very well because of my poor attendance.
I saw someone from uni today and basically have been told to come back next week having decided if it's the right time for me to be at uni or if I'm just using it to escape home. Admission has also been mentioned a few times recently, although it's likely that it would be voluntary and short term to try and get things turned around.
The idea of admission terrifies me, really really terrifies me. No one in my family knows that things have become this bad, or that hospital is an option - things have never been this bad before in terms of that and I never thought that it would be an option to end up in-patient.
I guess I know deep down that maybe it is what I need to turn things around and maybe coming back to uni next year would be better and give me a chance to heal properly. But, truth be told, it just terrifies me so much and I don't know what to do any more I just want to be the normal, carefree version of me who does well academically, goes out with her friends, has a passion for life, loves reading and has ambition for her future.... I just don't know where she's gone at the moment
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Depression getting worse watch
- Thread Starter
- 31-01-2017 23:29
- 01-02-2017 08:56
Hey, look we are all individuals and nobody is perfect. Depression has been a serious issue for many of us recently, especially University students. You're a bright girl and we are never too old to learn so if you feel it's right for you to return to education next year then take that step and focus on finding yourself.
One thing I'm sure you're told a lot is you're not alone in what you feel because you'd be amazed at how many people go through the same thing as you. Stay strong and I really hope things go very well for you!