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Funny and/or scientific limmericks Watch

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    A dozen, a gross, and a score
    Plus three times the square root of four
    Divided by seven
    Plus five time eleven
    Is nine squared and not a bit more

    Your units are wrong! cried the teacher.
    Your church weighs six joules — what a feature!
    And the people inside
    Are four hours wide,
    And eight gauss away from the preacher!

    A doctor whose penis turned green
    Asked a medico what did it mean
    He said “It’s a curse
    From bonking that nurse
    Too close to the X-ray machine!”

    If a monkey lets go of a tree,
    The arrow will hit him, you see,
    Because both heights are pared
    By a half gt2
    From what they would be with no g.
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    (Original post by Mistletoe)
    how newton watches an apple
    helped the english to win some battles
    he said f is ma
    and as night follows day
    so too day follows that rascal

    While Newton was called to the door
    His dog said "Your theory is poor";
    "I shall set alight
    "Your papers tonight
    "In favour of Einstein and Bohr"



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    (Original post by chazwomaq)
    Schrödinger's cat had a mission
    To understand superposition
    So did he survive?
    Was he dead and alive?
    It depended on nuclear fission

    Schroedinger's cat is a poser
    with the answer appearing no closer
    To settle his bet
    Erwin asked of his vet
    whose assessment was 'both yes and no, sir'
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    Whilst pondering superposition
    Young Erwin said "I'm on a mission
    "If Einstein is right
    "There's no pussy tonight
    "Instead I shall try quantum fission"




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    An Oxford Professor called ****
    Is explaining what makes humans tick;
    If you say "the Almighty"
    You will rustle his nightie
    Because genes are this gentleman's schtick



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    The breakthrough of Watson's and Crick's
    Came from Rosalind's 'X-rated' pics
    They said "ooh, I say"
    I can see DNA
    Is the shape of a double helix.
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    The skill to do math on a page
    Has declined to the point of outrage.
    Equations quadratica
    Are solved on Math'matica,
    And on birthdays we don't know our age

    How Fermi could estimate things!
    Like the well-known Olympic ten rings,
    And the one-hundred states,
    And weeks with ten dates,
    And birds that all fly with one... wings.

    For things moving free or at rest,
    Observe what the first law does best.
    It defines a key frame,
    Inertial by name,
    Where the second law then is expressed.

    What would you have thought, Galileo,
    If instead you dropped cows and did say, "Oh!
    To lessen the sound
    Of the moos from the ground,
    They should fall not through air but through mayo!"

    "To three, five, and seven, assign
    A name," the prof said, "we'll define."
    But he botched the instruction
    With woeful induction,
    And told us the next prime was nine.

    Two for the price of one here:


    In Boston, lived Jack, as did Jill,
    Who gained mgh on a hill.
    In their liquid pursuit,
    Jill exclaimed with a hoot,
    " I think we've just climbed a landfill!"

    While noting, "Oh, this is just grand,"
    Jack tripped on some trash in the sand.
    He changed his potential
    To kinetic, torrential,
    But not before grabbing Jill's hand.


    One morning while eating my Wheaties,
    I felt the earth move 'neath my feeties.
    The cause for alarm
    Was a long lever-arm,
    At the end of which grinned Archimedes.

    Quantum mechanics in the everyday world:

    When walking, I know that my aim
    Is caused by the ghosts with my name.
    And although I don't see
    Where they walk next to me,
    I know they're all there, just the same.

    The findings of Michelson-Morley
    Allow us to say very surely,
    " If this ether is real,
    Then it has no appeal,
    And shows itself off rather poorly."
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    After several weeks on the bench
    The staphylococci were hench;
    Apart from, we're told
    Where a clump of bread mold
    Had caused the wee blighters to blench


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    (Original post by chazwomaq)
    The breakthrough of Watson's and Crick's
    Came from Rosalind's 'X-rated' pics
    They said "ooh, I say"
    I can see DNA
    Is the shape of a double helix.
    Splendid !!

    :congrats:
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    (Original post by Kyx)
    The skill to do math on a page
    Has declined to the point of outrage.
    Equations quadratica
    Are solved on Math'matica,
    And on birthdays we don't know our age

    How Fermi could estimate things!
    Like the well-known Olympic ten rings,
    And the one-hundred states,
    And weeks with ten dates,
    And birds that all fly with one... wings.

    For things moving free or at rest,
    Observe what the first law does best.
    It defines a key frame,
    Inertial by name,
    Where the second law then is expressed.

    What would you have thought, Galileo,
    If instead you dropped cows and did say, "Oh!
    To lessen the sound
    Of the moos from the ground,
    They should fall not through air but through mayo!"

    "To three, five, and seven, assign
    A name," the prof said, "we'll define."
    But he botched the instruction
    With woeful induction,
    And told us the next prime was nine.

    Two for the price of one here:


    In Boston, lived Jack, as did Jill,
    Who gained mgh on a hill.
    In their liquid pursuit,
    Jill exclaimed with a hoot,
    " I think we've just climbed a landfill!"
    While noting, "Oh, this is just grand,"
    Jack tripped on some trash in the sand.
    He changed his potential
    To kinetic, torrential,
    But not before grabbing Jill's hand.

    One morning while eating my Wheaties,
    I felt the earth move 'neath my feeties.
    The cause for alarm
    Was a long lever-arm,
    At the end of which grinned Archimedes.

    Quantum mechanics in the everyday world:

    When walking, I know that my aim
    Is caused by the ghosts with my name.
    And although I don't see
    Where they walk next to me,
    I know they're all there, just the same.

    The findings of Michelson-Morley
    Allow us to say very surely,
    " If this ether is real,
    Then it has no appeal,
    And shows itself off rather poorly."
    thank you for reproducing these
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    (Original post by the bear)
    thank you for reproducing these
    NP
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    (Original post by Kyx)
    NP

    Is it P or NP is the quiz
    setting neckbearded chaps in a tizz
    But the Japanese sites
    that lenghten their nights
    claim completion as cashed out in jizz



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    (Original post by cambio wechsel)


    Is it P or NP is the quiz
    setting neckbearded chaps in a tizz
    But the Japanese sites
    that lenghten their nights
    claim completion as cashed out in jizz




    OK
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    Said Newton of Mister Leibniz
    "This chap really gets on my tits;
    His poxy deductions
    Just copied my fluxions.
    That's typical of bloody Fritz."
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    There once was a young mane called Ben
    Who really fancied his sister Jen
    He decided to stalk her
    Followed her to Majorca...

    And I can't come up with a final line
 
 
 
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