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Please help, Muslims will probably only understand Watch

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    (Original post by Josb)
    Wtf am I reading? :lolwut:
    What you are reading is back in the day men did not let a women leave the house for fear of jealousy and another man falling for his wife. Therefore to avoid unnecessary problems they merely suggested not forced upon their women.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Are you really comparing leaving Islam with self-immolation?
    Although I didn't say that exactly, I would agree with this analogy - those who choose to walk into the Fire themselves are performing self-immolation; but #YOLO, I guess.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Wtf am I reading? :lolwut:
    I made a typo.

    "I don't think you can mark it on a scale. I want him to be fully practicing and be pious but I won't tolerate him telling me to never leave the house and I can only leave the house with his permission etc."

    Is that clearer?
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Wtf am I reading? :lolwut:
    In Islam a husband has rights over his wife. She should ask for his permission when leaving the house otherwise it is haraam.
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    What you are reading is back in the day men did not let a women leave the house for fear of jealousy and another man falling for his wife. Therefore to avoid unnecessary problems they merely suggested not forced upon their women.
    But I thought that marriage created a very strong bond between spouses? Normally men shouldn't fear that...
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    In Islam a husband has rights over his wife. She should ask for his permission when leaving the house otherwise it is haraam.
    You agree with that?
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    (Original post by Josb)
    You agree with that?
    Yes.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    But I thought that marriage created a very strong bond between spouses? Normally men shouldn't fear that...
    It's nothing about fear. Relationships are built on trust, if your husband trusts you, he will let you leave the house. I'd much prefer to let him know, in my eyes I see it as something good.
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    Yes.
    Do you think that it makes any sense?
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    It's nothing about fear. Relationships are built on trust, if your husband trusts you, he will let you leave the house. I'd much prefer to let him know, in my eyes I see it as something good.
    "O' ma gerd, Muslim women are so oppressed that they don't believe they are really oppressed asdfgjkldjg"
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Do you think that it makes any sense?
    It makes sense; I'm pretty sure we let our parents know where we are going and what we are up to, I'd have to get permission. In this case it's my husband and I will tell him too.
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    It's nothing about fear. Relationships are built on trust, if your husband trusts you, he will let you leave the house. I'd much prefer to let him know, in my eyes I see it as something good.
    So, will your husband also have to ask permission to you for leaving the house?
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    It makes sense; I'm pretty sure we let our parents know where we are going and what we are up to, I'd have to get permission. In this case it's my husband and I will tell him too.
    There is a difference between informing a relative, and asking permission for leaving the house...
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    "O' ma gerd, Muslim women are so oppressed that they don't believe they are really oppressed asdfgjkldjg"
    LOL. Too busy being awesome.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    So, will your husband also have to ask permission to you for leaving the house?
    He wouldn't need to. His job is to provide for me so I don't expect him to do that. He has to leave the house whereas it isn't really necessary for me to.

    (Original post by Josb)
    There is a difference between informing a relative, and asking permission for leaving the house...
    I think you can't read or fail to understand my point.
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    He wouldn't need to. His job is to provide for me so I don't expect him to do that. He has to leave the house whereas it isn't really necessary for me to.
    Wow. I can't argue with such strong logic.

    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    It's nothing about fear. Relationships are built on trust, if your husband trusts you, he will let you leave the house. I'd much prefer to let him know, in my eyes I see it as something good.
    Normally, when people trust each other, they don't have to request permission for "leaving the house". From what you said, it seems that you would trust your husband, but that he will not trust you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, sorry for the long back story.

    I come from a household of an extremely abusive mother and a father who never did anything to stop it.

    A couple years ago, I managed to transfer university and move out, but my family would force me to regularly visit. Just before this, I met my non-Muslim boyfriend on a dating site, who lives in London. I am not from London nor do I go to university there. At this time I was (of course) in a bad place and, although I believed in Allah, I did not really care for religion.

    Since being away from the abuse I've found more of a place for Allah in my heart. My boyfriend is almost the perfect man - except for the fact that he is not Muslim. He has good principles and doesn't drink or anything. Since becoming more religious, I've asked him about converting, and he will not consider it. I know I have no future with him.

    Recently, I have cut contact with my mother and have stopped visiting my parents.

    I am in my final year of university and am planning on moving to London after I have finished precisely because of my entire situation. London is so big and I feel like it will give me a greater chance of meeting friends, a life partner, and starting a new life where I can finally be happy.

    I am having breakdowns at this moment because I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I find it hard to connect with people. I have only two friends I feel like I really connect with, and then there's my boyfriend. At the age of twenty I've only ever connected with three people. The fact that I now have to only consider Muslim guys for partners has narrowed down my chances of finding another connection by so much. On top of that, I would have to find a Muslim guy who is willing to date, as I would want to be in a relationship with someone before marriage.

    I also don't feel like I'm the kind of girl a Muslim guy will want to settle down with. I don't wear hijab and I feel like lot of people will automatically assume I'm not marriage material because of that. Also, I feel like many Muslim guys would want the approval of their parents before marrying someone. What Muslim parents would approve of a girl who has pretty much no ties with her family? I don't want to be used by a guy for fun and then get dumped for someone his parents chose.

    I feel like I'm never going to have a connection with a Muslim guy, and my religion does not allow me to be with a non-Muslim, and therefore I see my future being filled with unhappiness and loneliness.

    Advice or perspective would be appreciated.
    Read the quran. You will never be a muslim after reading and understanding the Qur'an. If you still are, then that's deplorable. Me and my girlfriend were muslims until last year, when we finished reading the qur'an. Now we've left Egypt and we can finally get married without fear of being stoned death. You know Islam is even sexist for punishment; If me and my girlfriend were two males, we would've have be executed, but because we are two women we are to be stoned to death.
    Please for your own happiness, leave Islam and the best way to do that is to read the Qur'an.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Normally, when people trust each other, they don't have to request permission for "leaving the house". From what you said, it seems that you would trust your husband, but that he will not trust you.
    Dw I know how to make my husband happy. Good luck with your future.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    But I thought that marriage created a very strong bond between spouses? Normally men shouldn't fear that...
    It does but it depends on who one gets married to aswell. If they get married to their cousins for instance then they wont really suggest much as they probally have grown up with them during childhood. However marrying an outsider is a completely different story as they dont know you and it does take time for one to get to know each other in such a relationship.
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    It makes sense; I'm pretty sure we let our parents know where we are going and what we are up to, I'd have to get permission. In this case it's my husband and I will tell him too.
    Yeah but that's because they are your parents and naturally they are protective of you, when you're married, you should have such freedom not to require and seek permission to leave the house, there is a difference.
 
 
 
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