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Please help, Muslims will probably only understand Watch

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      (Original post by AishaGirl)
      Well obviously there is a difference. Would I marry a muslim man who has been with someone before? Absolutely. Would I marry a muslim man who has been around the block a dozen times? Hell no.

      Also age is important. If he is 18 and he has already had 2 failed marriages then no I probably would not. If we were both in our 30's and he had 2 failed marriages then yes I would probably give him a chance.

      Why do hijabis look down on muslim non hijabis? does it make them feel better about themselves?
      half of the hijabis I know have boyfriends but still look down on non hijabis who pray and are reserved. Ironic hey

      But your husband will not be "pure" this is what you described the virginity of a woman as
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      (Original post by Zamestaneh)
      You are like the one who can see but is blind, can hear but is deaf, and whose heart and mind can think but cannot comprehend - with all your senses and faculties you fumble about in the dark blindly calling on others to open their eyes whilst you refuse to open your own.

      Enjoy these worldly pleasures because that's as good as it's going to get for you, as you would agree, but lament the day you will be held accountable for this.
      Spare me the pointless dogma, I will be held accountable by no one and nothing in the "afterlife".
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      (Original post by years101)
      half of the hijabis I know have boyfriends but still look down on non hijabis who pray and are reserved. Ironic hey
      Yeah, hypocrites are the worst.

      But your husband will not be "pure" this is what you described the virginity of a woman as
      Purity as close as you can get of course. A virgin is preferred but a modest person who maybe had 1 marriage before or 2 depending on age, is ok. For me personally anyway.
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      (Original post by AishaGirl)
      Well obviously there is a difference. Would I marry a muslim man who has been with someone before? Absolutely. Would I marry a muslim man who has been around the block a dozen times? Hell no.

      Also age is important. If he is 18 and he has already had 2 failed marriages then no I probably would not. If we were both in our 30's and he had 2 failed marriages then yes I would probably give him a chance.
      Does it work in reverse with you people - i.e. if it were you who had the two failed marriages behind you rather than him?
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      (Original post by Reality Check)
      Does it work in reverse with you people - i.e. if it were you who had the two failed marriages behind you rather than him?
      If I had 2 failed marriages I would still like to find someone who would marry me but I would not blame them if they didn't want to.
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        (Original post by AishaGirl)
        Yeah, hypocrites are the worst.



        Purity as close as you can get of course. A virgin is preferred but a modest person who maybe had 1 marriage before or 2 depending on age, is ok. For me personally anyway.
        Cool
        Are you going to cook for your husband? In Islam women/wives don't have to do anything lol, but if you do it its seen as good
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        (Original post by years101)
        Cool
        Are you going to cook for your husband? In Islam women/wives don't have to do anything lol, but if you do it its seen as good
        What? I don't understand the question.

        Will I cook for my husband? Of course... Wives and husbands have the obligation to make each other happy by providing.

        These things completely depend on the marriage though and can be decided in the nikah. Any husband I marry has to accept that I can work if I want to, if he does not accept this then I will not marry him.

        If he accepts this but then later changes his mind, he has broken the nikah and this means he does not respect me so I will show him the door.

        I might be a muslimah but any man who thinks they're going to disrespect me is going to be in for a shock...
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        Evaluate your religion, would your God want you to be happy or give up your chance at happiness in order to please him? If you've cut ties with your family and are free to make your own decisions without family pressure or fear for your safety, choose what you want. Be honest with yourself. Don't just say "I'm a good Muslim so I can't marry him", instead think about what you'll lose out on if you do or do not marry him. Are you willing to give that up? If your boyfriend is Christian or Jewish then it shouldn't matter anyway because AFAIK, Muslims are allowed to marry "people of the book" i.e Christians and Jews without conversion. If he's another religion or atheist/agnostic then it's your choice. Do you want your religion to control your entire life? You already don't do a lot of things Islam tells you to do like wear a hijab so is giving up your relationship with your boyfriend worth it?
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        (Original post by MiszShortee786)
        Don't make this biased. Muslims on TSR are very through in where they get their info from hence refrencing this guy don't have no idea and neither do you about reputable scholars. You cannot Base islam off google for Allah's sake you are not going to find every single answer there hence the reason for imams and authentic scholars. I have actually looked at the links and as a SOK I can tell you they are misguding and improper information.
        Interesting.

        Professor Al Fadl "is Professor of Law at the UCLA School of Law where he teaches Islamic law, Immigration, Human Rights, International and National Security Law. Dr. Abou El Fadl previously taught Islamic law at the University of Texas at Austin Law School, Yale Law School and Princeton University. He holds degrees from Yale University (B.A.), University of Pennsylvania Law School (J.D.) and Princeton University (M.A./Ph.D.) ... he also received formal training in Islamic jurisprudence in Egypt and Kuwait".

        While you may of course disagree with him, and criticise his views, dismissing them offhand, and simply calling them "misguiding and improper information" is ridiculous.

        By the way, he is not at all in favour of interfaith marriages (especially Muslim wife/non-Muslim husband). He considers them makruh (reprehensible).

        Best
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          (Original post by years101)
          So you're going to cook and clean for your husband and you won't mind if he doesn't?
          Chances are he is a terrible cook anyway... however if he does want to cook for us on occasions that would be lovely.

          If your future husband has social media and follows girls and likes their pictures will you be angry?
          I would kill him, maybe. He wouldn't be looking at and liking other girls photos again that's for certain.

          why do you want to get married? its sunnah yes. Strongly advised to marry if you cannot control your sexual urges but if you cannot fulfil your role (husband or wife) then it becomes haram for you to marry because it will lead to cheating/zina ect.
          My "role" is many things, a lot of which can be refined in the nikah. For example the traditional role of the women is to be a housewife, however if we agree in the nikah that I want to work then the logical solution is to hire a maid to clean and do the chores as we both will be a bit tired after we get home from work.
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            (Original post by years101)
            LOL you do know men are uncontrollable and if they find another girl attractive so what? I'm sure you find other men attractive but it doesn't mean cheating
            Sure, I don't care if he finds someone attractive but if he is liking her photos and eyeballing her and making it public and when he has a wife then there is going to be some serious issues.

            You sound like a psycho wife that puts a tracker in your husbands mobile phone
            Gotta keep him on a tight leash ya feel me.

            Again, In Islam a woman does NOT have to do anything. Why are you going to cook and clean for your husband when you don't need to?
            Because it is my duty to make sure he is happy and cooking for him is one way I can please him and not get food poisoning from his terrible cooking.

            "Want to work" How can you not want to go out and work and earn your OWN money? would you like to be a housewife?
            I'm not sure I understand the question? I am going to university, I want a career therefore I want to work. If you read what I said you'll see that I said I want to work.
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              (Original post by years101)
              How is he going to make you happy?
              Are you going to make him happy through cooking, cleaning and sex?
              I will make him happy by completing half his deen. I will cook lovely meals for him, raise his children to the best of my ability, provide support for him whenever he needs it, be his best friend, and yes, provide him with sex of course.

              Will you marry a guy who is muslim but doesn't work?
              No, if he doesn't have a job them he is either lazy or uneducated. If he provides evidence that he is out of work temporarily and he has a high chance of finding a secure job then I will delay the marriage until he is working.

              Also if he isn't working then I will have to provide financially and that is not my role, that is his role. He also needs to be earning a decent salary like £30k+ a year or something.

              Why do you feel the need to get angry though? Men are like this and you cant go psycho on them for it. If they like a picture so what? its not cheating
              because Islam teaches lowering your gaze and being modest, if he has a wife and he is "liking" other girls photos and talking to them then that is not following what islam teaches.

              Does it make you insecure?
              No, but it makes me think he does not respect what Islam says.

              also why do you want to get married? and no answers like "completing half my deen"
              I already answered that question
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                (Original post by years101)
                "cook lovely meals for him" "provide him with sex" "raise his children" "provide support for him"
                You sound like his slave.

                You have nothing against him if he doesn't cook/clean or spend time with his children?

                No, you never answered the question. I'm asking why do YOU want to get married?
                Is it because you dont want to be alone?
                You need the affection of a man?
                You need to rely on someone?

                I don't think so. You would be angry because you seem obsessive and you sound insecure. If you husband doesn't follow every single sunnah are you going to go psycho?
                I think you are being way too hard on AishaGirl, everything she seems to say is quite reasonable/normal, you are looking into it too much.

                Pretty ill of you to judge her the way you have (I am referring to some of the name calling/labeling you have done).
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                (Original post by years101)
                Judging her? Shut up. I am asking her questions and she is answering them. She seems like a good person with values.

                The names I have called her? I said its psychotic and she sounds psychotic. Not that she is. Do I know her? no.

                Butt out you scum. Oh and remove your picture, you're ugly
                I'll no longer be answering your questions. You are blocked.

                Have a nice day.
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                (Original post by years101)
                Judging her? Shut up. I am asking her questions and she is answering them. She seems like a good person with values.

                The names I have called her? I said its psychotic and she sounds psychotic. Not that she is. Do I know her? no.

                Butt out you scum. Oh and remove your picture, you're ugly
                Obsessive, insecure, psycho wife, just a few things you mentioned.

                I wonder how people would label you. It can begin with a D or P, and ends with a K.

                Have a lovely day.
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                (Original post by Sabby888)
                For?
                that if parents are abusive you can cut contact
                if youre gona make claims about what islam says then at least provide proof
                and plz dont say its common sense
                what does abusive mean? Does it mean light beating, a slap, full on beating, causing bruises, broken bones etc ?
               
               
               
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