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Please help, Muslims will probably only understand Watch

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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    At least Harry Potter was an enjoyable read
    True!
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    (Original post by AishaGirl)
    Western muslim 100%. The cultural differences would probably be too much. I'm half Egyptian though so maybe, possibly I would marry an Egyptian if he had good knowledge of western culture.
    Right so how religious would you like him to be on a scale of 1-10?
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    (Original post by AishaGirl)
    Western muslim 100%. The cultural differences would probably be too much. I'm half Egyptian though so maybe, possibly I would marry an Egyptian if he had good knowledge of western culture.
    Western Muslims are typically less orthodox, though. In comparison to a Middle East Muslim, you'd probably look like an absolute degenerate and you'd be the one to be called "skank", "filthy", etc. Why do your judgements matter more than theirs?
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Right so how religious would you like him to be on a scale of 1-10?
    I don't think you can mark it on a scale. I want him to be fully practicing and be pious but I won't tolerate him telling me to never leave the house and I can only leave the house with his permission etc.

    I don't really know what you mean.
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    (Original post by AishaGirl)
    I don't think you can mark it on a scale. I want him to be fully practicing and be pious but telling me to wear the niqab and never leave the house and I can only leave the house with his permission etc.

    I don't really know what you mean.
    Right so you want a reasonably religious guy whose a virgin, good looking, has chemistry with you and gets on well with you.

    Its a needle in a haystack nowadays. But good luck nevertheless.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Right so you want a reasonably religious guy whose a virgin, good looking, has chemistry with you and gets on well with you.

    Its a needle in a haystack nowadays. But good luck nevertheless.
    I just wanted to clarify I'm not sure I made it clear I do NOT want a husband who won't allow me to leave the home without his permission and to wear the niqab.

    I put my trust in Allah swt to find a good spouse inshallah.
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    (Original post by AishaGirl)
    I don't think you can mark it on a scale. I want him to be fully practicing and be pious but telling me to wear the niqab and never leave the house and I can only leave the house with his permission etc.

    I don't really know what you mean.
    You didn't finish your sentence, but if those are things you do want, congrats, your worldview is logically consistent.

    If those are things you don't want, then you are to a pious Muslim as a promiscuous non-Muslim is to you, and have simply changed your beliefs to be convenient to the extent that you get to still lord over those who do things you consider "fiithy" while still being a Muslim in name alone
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, sorry for the long back story.

    I come from a household of an extremely abusive mother and a father who never did anything to stop it.

    A couple years ago, I managed to transfer university and move out, but my family would force me to regularly visit. Just before this, I met my non-Muslim boyfriend on a dating site, who lives in London. I am not from London nor do I go to university there. At this time I was (of course) in a bad place and, although I believed in Allah, I did not really care for religion.

    Since being away from the abuse I've found more of a place for Allah in my heart. My boyfriend is almost the perfect man - except for the fact that he is not Muslim. He has good principles and doesn't drink or anything. Since becoming more religious, I've asked him about converting, and he will not consider it. I know I have no future with him.

    Recently, I have cut contact with my mother and have stopped visiting my parents.

    I am in my final year of university and am planning on moving to London after I have finished precisely because of my entire situation. London is so big and I feel like it will give me a greater chance of meeting friends, a life partner, and starting a new life where I can finally be happy.

    I am having breakdowns at this moment because I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I find it hard to connect with people. I have only two friends I feel like I really connect with, and then there's my boyfriend. At the age of twenty I've only ever connected with three people. The fact that I now have to only consider Muslim guys for partners has narrowed down my chances of finding another connection by so much. On top of that, I would have to find a Muslim guy who is willing to date, as I would want to be in a relationship with someone before marriage.

    I also don't feel like I'm the kind of girl a Muslim guy will want to settle down with. I don't wear hijab and I feel like lot of people will automatically assume I'm not marriage material because of that. Also, I feel like many Muslim guys would want the approval of their parents before marrying someone. What Muslim parents would approve of a girl who has pretty much no ties with her family? I don't want to be used by a guy for fun and then get dumped for someone his parents chose.

    I feel like I'm never going to have a connection with a Muslim guy, and my religion does not allow me to be with a non-Muslim, and therefore I see my future being filled with unhappiness and loneliness.

    Advice or perspective would be appreciated.
    Honestly, PRAY to God.

    Trust in him, hope that he has something in store for you. After all, he does know what's best!

    You know, I once started talking to a guy through Instagram. He was sweet, funny and goodlooking. We were the same age and lived only a street apart. He wanted to meet up but I cut my ties with him because I just felt like I wasn't good enough for a guy like him. A couple months later, my friend started flirting with him and calling him on the phone and I was JEALOUSSSSS like you wouldn't believe! So I prayed for his attention wishing desperately that he'd come back to me instead of HER. A year later, he stopped speaking to her, and I joined a new tuition class. Who's in my tuition class? That boy!

    Spoiler:
    Show

    We started flirting mildly again, but I lost interest pretty quickly and saw that the boy on Instagram was practically a different person in real life, someone who I didn't like so much, so it ebbed away.


    The point is, PRAY. God listens, he hears you. He either says "Not now" or "I have something better for you". I hope things get better for you, keep your head up and good luck xx
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    You are like the one who can see but is blind, can hear but is deaf, and whose heart and mind can think but cannot comprehend - with all your senses and faculties you fumble about in the dark blindly calling on others to open their eyes whilst you refuse to open your own.

    Enjoy these worldly pleasures because that's as good as it's going to get for you, as you would agree, but lament the day you will be held accountable for this.
    LOL
    Smashed it 👌
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    • #10
    #10

    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    So you're willing to give up your perfect man just because he doesn't believe the same fairytales you do? Is that seriously the reason you're going to give up on him, even though you're not close to your family?

    A prime example of how toxic religion can be.
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    In Islam a women can't marry a guy who isn't Muslim,however she can marry a guy of a different race etc . This is because in Islam it's important to pass down religion through generations and that can be done by the father (I hope I make sense haha). and its what this girl wants in a man so I dont see the problem. I know it's not an easy situation to be in.
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    (Original post by h3rmit)
    You didn't finish your sentence, but if those are things you do want, congrats, your worldview is logically consistent.

    If those are things you don't want, then you are to a pious Muslim as a promiscuous non-Muslim is to you, and have simply changed your beliefs to be convenient to the extent that you get to still lord over those who do things you consider "fiithy" while still being a Muslim in name alone
    I corrected what I meant in a later post.

    I've been over this issue a thousand times. Niqab is not fard, it is mustahab based on certain conditions such as if she is very pretty or she is getting eyeballed everywhere she walks. Then alhamdulillah she should wear it.

    Again these issues can be dealt with in the nikah. It's really not an issue like most of you think it is.
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    LOL
    Smashed it 👌
    Sheikh Hameedi said words to a similar effect of this in the lecture I posted in ISOC, and I found it rather profound so it's stuck with me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1
    In Islam a women can't marry a guy who isn't Muslim,however she can marry a guy of a different race etc . This is because in Islam it's important to pass down religion through generations and that can be done by the father (I hope I make sense haha). and its what this girl wants in a man so I dont see the problem. I know it's not an easy situation to be in.
    And yet in Islam you're not allowed to date either, which she is doing and has said she will do in the future so she's being selective about what believes in. That then begs the question as to why she can't be selective about marrying the guy, even if he is non-Muslim. It seems like such a stupid decision to stop yourself from marrying someone who you feel is "the one" because of an ideology which you yourself don't even follow 100%.
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Sheikh Hameedi said words to a similar effect of this in the lecture I posted in ISOC, and I found it rather profound so it's stuck with me
    Telling it like it is.
    May Allah reward him.
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    And yet in Islam you're not allowed to date either, which she is doing and has said she will do in the future so she's being selective about what believes in. That then begs the question as to why she can't be selective about marrying the guy, even if he is non-Muslim. It seems like such a stupid decision to stop yourself from marrying someone who you feel is "the one" because of an ideology which you yourself don't even follow 100%.
    The OP also mentioned that she was getting religious obviously for any sane person that is a hard task considering that they have to abide and not only that bring that practice into their daily rituals. That within itself is a task its not hard to implement but it can be at first as with everything in life we will all struggle and then with consent persistence we ace it. Same thing here.
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    And yet in Islam you're not allowed to date either, which she is doing and has said she will do in the future so she's being selective about what believes in. That then begs the question as to why she can't be selective about marrying the guy, even if he is non-Muslim. It seems like such a stupid decision to stop yourself from marrying someone who you feel is "the one" because of an ideology which you yourself don't even follow 100%.
    Only a fool would have an 'all or nothing' attitude - if one were to burn their finger with a match because they felt like doing so for fun, only an absolute idiot would listen to someone saying 'I don't see why you don't douse yourself in petrol and set your body alight because you enjoyed burning yourself with the match anyway'.

    Similarly, one should not listen to someone being saying to compromise on every part of religion just because they compromise on other parts.
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Only a fool would have an 'all or nothing' attitude - if one were to burn their finger with a match because they felt like doing so for fun, only an absolute idiot would listen to a devil of a human being saying 'I don't see why you don't douse yourself in petrol and set your body alight because you enjoyed burning yourself with the match anyway'.

    Similarly, one should not listen to a devil of a human being saying to compromise on every part of religion just because they compromise on other parts.
    Totally agree!
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    (Original post by AishaGirl)
    I don't think you can mark it on a scale. I want him to be fully practicing and be pious but telling me to wear the niqab and never leave the house and I can only leave the house with his permission etc.
    Wtf am I reading? :lolwut:
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Only a fool would have an 'all or nothing' attitude - if one were to burn their finger with a match because they felt like doing so for fun, only an absolute idiot would listen to a devil of a human being saying 'I don't see why you don't douse yourself in petrol and set your body alight because you enjoyed burning yourself with the match anyway'.

    Similarly, one should not listen to a devil of a human being saying to compromise on every part of religion just because they compromise on other parts.
    Are you really comparing leaving Islam with self-immolation?
 
 
 
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