*sigh* I'm tired of dating.
Met this guy and we hit it off immediately-we have a lot in common. Initially I wasn't looking for anything at all. I just wanted to go out and go on a few dates (maybe) and just have fun. I didn't want anything serious at all because I wasn't emotionally ready. Any who, he pursued me consistently and we seemed to really enjoy talking to each other. He would reach out to me everyday and he was the one asking for dates. So we had a first date, which was a double date with his friends, and it lasted almost 7 hours. Clearly we had enjoyed each other's company. On our first date we talked about our astrological signs. He said he never looked into astrology and asked what were some things about a Taurus and a Leo. I told him how Leos are known for being regal, liking finer things etc.
We had our second date the next night and afterwards my girl friends and one of his good friends joined us for drinks. As soon as his friend saw me he said, "ohhh well HELLO, I've heard A LOT about you". He turned to me a little embarrassed and said don't listen to him. It was not long after that he told me that he and his friend don't date more than one woman at a time. So I guess he was just seeing me? Either way I was just enjoying his company and not expecting anything. We had taken an uber into the city so he left his car at my apartment. On the way back we couldn't stop kissing and he came into the community area and kissed a bit more and it got a little heavy. He asked if we could go upstairs and I said no it was time for him to go home. A few days later I was asking him about a store near him because I was getting a gift for one my guy friend's birthday. He said, "who is the gift for? Let me profile him really quickly haha". I knew he was joking (well maybe he wasn't completely joking?) but thought it was a little odd to make the joke.
Fast forward to this weekend we went on Friday. Another great date in the books-held hands and he mentioned again how he only dates one person at a time. He put his car in the shop so I picked him up and dropped him off since he lives near by. So I went inside for a bit and we had sex. I immediately regretted it. As soon as I left he contacted me and was still making jokes, so he was still his usual funny self which I took as a good sign. The next day he said he wanted to see me again but I had to go a birthday party and said I would swing by after. I get there and we start kissing and I tel him I'm not having sex with him. He thought I was joking but he kept trying, but it wasn't in a pushy way at all. This man tried for hours making jokes about sex but I still kept saying no.
He said how the sex the day before was "phenomenal" and he thought I teasing him on purpose because I hadn't told him why I didn't want to have sex, just that I didn't want to. He eventually said "this must be an ego thing for you isn't? To see me keep trying and you keep saying no so that you can go back and tell your friends about how I acted. It has to be because you keep kissing me but then keep saying no to sex." I finally told him that I thought yesterday was too soon and I wish that I hadn't slept with him. He immediately started to apologize saying, "sorry if you felt like I was pushing you yesterday I wasn't trying to do that all". I said, "no I didn't do anything that I didn't want to do it was just too soon". He said he understood and mentioned that any woman he's dated they've slept together within the 1st or 2nd date so he doesn't think any different of women who have sex early (we had known each other a month and had more dates than that).
He said let me guess, "you don't be used and made a fool of?" I said yea that's it. He said well "what do you need from me? Ask me anything you want. Do you want me to tell you how I feel about you?" I said "no I could give a crap about that it's about me and my level of comfort." He kept asking me "well what do you want?" I kept saying I don't know and that I hadn't thought that far. I said I could very well want you as just a **** buddy or something more but right now I don't know. He said well I don't know what I want either but this how I envision us. You'll be starting law school in the fall and I'll be finishing up my program so we'll see each other a few days out the week and then we'll just continue from there. I said, "wait you've thought about that already? Or did you just make that up on the cusp?" He said, "no I thought about it". He then asked what my 5 year plan is for a relationship which I tell him. He then proceeds to say how he hasn't been with someone in 2 years because he was busy helping his dead through chemo and after he died he went through a grieving process so he just wasn't ready. How I'm the first person that he's taken on a date in 6 months .
Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly". I said well we can keep hanging out. He cocked his head to the side and said "hanging out" I said, "yea...why did you make that face?" He said "Nothing. yea we can keep hanging out then". He kissed me goodbye and I left.
So I didn't hear from the next day and I immediately knew something was off since he made sure to contact me everyday. The next day nothing as well. So I called him and said I hope he didn't take offense to wanting to take things slow (since I didn't quite word it like that when we had seen each other lol). He said "I apologize if it seems like I was a little too aggressive the other night and if I came of entitled because I'm not entitled to sex with anyone. I have no problem waiting for someone I'm into but truthfully I'm having doubts about our dynamics". Huh?? I said, "dynamics, what do you mean". He said, "oh well the whole Leo thing. You said how they like the finer things in life and y'all are regal and that's just not me and we had different motivations". I started laughing because I knew immediately that was bull sh*t. The man didn't even know a single thing about astrology, even mentioned how he didn't think much of it, and now it's an issue? lol. Plus, I told him things about Leos on the first date. I was a Leo the entire time and there was no problem. Then he proceeded to say "I like talking to you and seeing you. We can keep hanging out but this isn't going to be long term". I said, "Understood" and got off the phone.
I've never dated a Taurus before so I was just a little confused. I was the one who kept saying I didn't know what I wanted and even my friends were saying it seemed like he was ahead of me in where this was going with us, but now because "doubts about our dynamics" he doesn't see long term?. The hell? Why even mention long term if I didn't even say **** about long term anyways. I can see if I had been saying I wanted to be with him but I didn't even say that. Now I just feel used :/
"having doubts about our dynamics"...wth? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 02-02-2017 07:35
- 02-02-2017 17:50
Applies to him too in this case I guess?
I've tried to read the rest of the post properly but to be perfectly honest I haven't a clue what the heck's gone on here after multiple attempts.