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    Today is Time to Talk Day 2017, so let's talk about mental health!

    1 in 4 adults each year suffer from a diagnosable mental illness of some form, but we all have mental health just as much as we do physical. We all have different ideas of what this means and how it affects us but some of the statistics are both amazing and shocking. See how many you can get with Time to Change's quiz- I got 11/15, and I thought I knew quite a lot!

    From making someone feel less alone, to sharing feelings and what's going on, to gradually helping to end the stigma, talking about mental health can change- and save- lives. A problem shared with the right person is a problem halved, and no matter how hard it can be getting help is something you'll rarely regret. Have a look at Deyesy's thread here to see how other peoples' talking has gone.

    What experiences do you have of mental illness, and is it something you talk about? What advice would you give to someone struggling with their mental health? What will you do today to help end the stigma around it, and what else do you think needs to be done?

    Please note you can post anonymously in this thread. If you need more support, have a look at this page for people you can contact, or ask in the Mental Health Support Society on here- do check the OP first though for what is and isn't allowed in there. If there's anything else you think we can do on TSR then feel free to PM me or post in this thread, we're always looking for new ideas! Other than that, let's get talking
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Today is Time to Talk Day 2017, so let's talk about mental health!

    1 in 4 adults each year suffer from a diagnosable mental illness of some form, but we all have mental health just as much as we do physical. We all have different ideas of what this means and how it affects us but some of the statistics are both amazing and shocking. See how many you can get with Time to Change's quiz- I got 11/15, and I thought I knew quite a lot!

    From making someone feel less alone, to sharing feelings and what's going on, to gradually helping to end the stigma, talking about mental health can change- and save- lives. A problem shared with the right person is a problem halved, and no matter how hard it can be getting help is something you'll rarely regret. Have a look at Deyesy's thread here to see how other peoples' talking has gone.

    What experiences do you have of mental illness, and is it something you talk about? What advice would you give to someone struggling with their mental health? What will you do today to help end the stigma around it, and what else do you think needs to be done?

    Please note you can post anonymously in this thread. If you need more support, have a look at this page for people you can contact, or ask in the Mental Health Support Society on here- do check the OP first though for what is and isn't allowed in there. If there's anything else you think we can do on TSR then feel free to PM me or post in this thread, we're always looking for new ideas! Other than that, let's get talking
    I feel quite lucky in that I haven't experienced any diagnosable mental health problems, I did experience a couple of possible panic attacks last year after I quit nursing and wasn't in the best place, I immediately messaged my close friends and they were nothing but supportive as they always have been.

    Three of my closest friends have diagnosed depression/anxiety/ ptsd and to see the time to change stats of how many friendships it's effected negatively it upset me slightly, all three have openly spoken to me in the past and I like to think that they'd turn to me if they were struggling, and if you can't at least try to support someone when they're struggling then I think you're not a good friend to start with.
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    I've had severe depression for about 10 years, and anxiety for, I think, about 6. When I was younger, I had a lot of trouble with food and eating, and I'm currently experiencing hallucinations and paranoia. I talk about it quite a lot around here, particularly in the MHSS I don't talk about it so much elsewhere, because I've found people to be a lot less understanding, and with some people it's all they want to talk about and I don't want to form relationships based solely on that and revolving completely around that. My friend, Grace, knows about the majority of it if I recall correctly, and my family knows that I have a CPN and take medication but nothing else. The team I used to volunteer with were quite unsupportive and didn't understand, or try to, so I'm very wary of bringing it up outside of places like MHSS, although I would love to do some volunteering based on MH issues and talk about it a lot more. Maybe when I know more about what's going on with me then I'll feel more able to.

    I think today I might post a thread here and possibly take something to Facebook as well. I tried to suggest we make a big day of it at college, but they thought it unimportant
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    I've been in "the system" for almost 11 years and still find it very difficult to talk about IRL and even online sometimes. Both my parents know but my dad really doesn't understand and my mum worries way too much so I feel guilty for making her worry. No one on my Facebook has mentioned timetotalk and I'm not going to be the one to bring it up - I feel so bad about potentially being judged as weak or pathetic or attention seeking. I'm having trouble getting on the UK twitter timetotalk page so can't even read the comments. There was something similar in the US the other week and I really found it inspirational reading my favorite hockey players' tweets about either what they've experienced or their views on mental health (annoyingly I can't remember the hashtag).

    I wish I was brave enough to be honest. In a class last semester, one girl asked me about what happened to my arm (S/H scars), I told her I fell through a window as a kid. I've never really fitted in and really fear rejection if I'm honest. That's one reason I've stuck around on TSR - the people in MHSS are so wonderful, accepting, and helpful. I don't know what I'd do without that outlet. Thanks guys!
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    MHSS is my godsend :yep: I am very open about my mental health on TSR especially, and with my daddy and the staff at my volunteering, but otherwise I keep it to myself.
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    What experiences do you have of mental illness, and is it something you talk about?
    Most of you will already be familiar with my experiences of mental illnesses but I'll briefly talk about it again. I come from a family where MH conditions are prominent. My dad has schizophrenia, my mum sufferers from bipolar, OCD and general anxiety and my gran was agoraphobic for years due to panic disorder. Me personally, I was first diagnosed with a MH condition at 5 or 6 years old and it was severe OCD. People think that kids can't be diagnosed with a MH condition, especially OCD. They think the kids are just 'quirky', weird or just acting up but there's a world of difference between someone having quirks and someone being mentally ill, if you know what you are looking for. I was in and out therapy, GP meetings, self help groups etc all throughout my life and over the years as I got older I was diagnosed with other conditions such as CPTSD (psychiatrist thinks that is my 'main' condition out of everything), BDD, depression and panic disorder. I like my gran was also housebound from panics but thankfully not for as long as she was. It was 6 months for me.

    I do feel ok talking about it to anyone now but for a while I didn't. I always spoke about it to close friends and family but to the general world, no one knew I was ill. I may have had my odd moments but I don't think many people put two and two together and realised I was suffering from this and that. At first, I would only talk about having panic attacks because a lot of people suffer from them, even if they just have one panic in their life and that doesn't mean they are mentally so I felt comfortable talking about that than the other conditions because there's so many misconceptions and questions that get brought up with them, especially OCD.

    With OCD you get asked things like "so you just wash your hands a lot?", "oh is that the thing we all have a bit of?" and then with CPTSD its more personal questions like "Why do you have that? Were you raped?", "What happened to you that was so bad that has ****** you up as an adult?".

    What advice would you give to someone struggling with their mental health?
    Seek advice from someone you trust - be it a friend, a family member or even someone online. At first, I found it easier to post anon on TSR and other MH forums and the support I received from people on MHSS gave me the courage to come out my shell and fully show you who I am and what I have and that in turn gave me the courage to embrace what I have, despite how crap it is and put it to use by using my experiences to help others. Confiding in someone can make the world of difference but I know all too often, its hard to find someone who is empathetic when it comes to things like MH.

    I would also advice going to see your GP. It is very hit or miss when it comes to finding a sympathetic doctor when it comes to this kind of thing but a lot of the time you can't treat MH problems on your own so you do need some medical help be it through medication and/or a referral to therapy, counselling etc. Some GP surgeries have doctors that specialise in a certain field, ask the receptionist if there is a doctor who is keenly interested in MH or if you know anyone who goes to the same surgery, maybe they can recommend a doctor.

    MH forums are a great resource. I found them to be a lifeline when I was at my worst. As horrible as it is to see others suffering, its a little comforting to know you are all in the same boat and can help each other. I personally used MHSS on TSR and NoMorePanic.
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    I started being affected my depression and OCD when I was around 14 after a lot of people close to me died. It took me almost 3 years to realise what was going on and gather the courage to see a doctor. My first step was seeing a counsellor, but unfortunately I didn't have the best experience and the person I was seeing was dismissive when I tried to bring up my potential OCD- didn't even ask why I thought it, just told me there's no way I had it. That along with some less than amazing responses from friends probably delayed me seeing a doctor, but I eventually did.

    When I was 17 I was sent to CAMHS and soon after I saw a psych and was diagnosed. I started Citalopram and went to group therapy sessions for a couple of months. After another couple of years I came off the citalopram and am mostly stable, bar an episode or two, but I am still unable to live a normal life. I think where I was unwell for so long at a time when you are learning so much I never really learned how to cope properly as an adult (that and I have physical conditions and learning disorders).

    During my time with mh issues I have dropped out of two unis and not much else. It was such a struggle to do the basic things like wake up and go to college that I never had much opportunity to do anything else. I feel like i've missed out on a lot of my life and still am. All the while I have battled the idea that in reality i'm just lazy. I don't know why I think it when I have multiple diagnosies' that would explain my issues, but it's something I can never shake. I don't think i'd be able to fight it this long if I didn't have my bf to slap some sense into me when I start getting myself down. He's my rock and only friend.

    Advice:If you think you may have problems, trust yourself and get support. Believe in yourself and love yourself- don't let mh turn you against yourself. Praise yourself for any small achievement and don't let slip ups get you down.

    Actions:I think one of the best ways to fight stigma is to tell people what it's really like. I try my best to be open about my experience (online at least- I am more closed off in person) and not to judge people for their misconceptions. It's difficult to understand mh issues if you have not experienced them so I can see why people would form stigma. I try to help give them a more realistic idea of what mh can be like without making them feel targeted.
    I also think it's really important to support each other and form a community. One person alone can't do much, but together we can achieve great things.
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    Feels weird to look back now but I've had a lifetime of mental health problems.

    It started with anorexia at age 5. I can still feel her rage at the way she was treated. She had no concept that this is the recommended treatment. All she knew was that she wasn't allowed to choose when to eat any more and she tried really hard to deceive and trick them so she could eat what she wanted. No one really knew how to deal with it and me because it was the early 90s. The idea of a child this young with anorexia was beyond the imaginations of many many professionals.

    They just waited for me to break, like a wild horse, and submit to eating properly. There wasn't anything like school counselling or educational psychologists to speak to. So as soon as they broke me, they acted like it never happened and like I would forget because I was so young.

    It's odd really coming from that, that my food was actually really restricted growing up and I wasn't allowed to eat when I _was_ hungry. So I eventually developed bulimia and later binge eating disorder.

    I was self harming from age 13 and my first suicide attempt was at 15. I was very depressed at school but because I was doing well academically no one seemed to care about the fresh wounds and bruises. I took an OD in class and no one cared to notice.

    There's a lot of dark between then and actually finding help that could take a while to write so I'll just say, I was ignored time and time again. My first therapist said I was stubborn and didn't try to connect with me at all. A child psychologist said it was normal for me to be suicidal and offered no treatment. Hospital told psych ward I'd lied about an OD attempt because of some blood results and left me without any care for hours surrounded by needles.

    Then I found some help online and started to fight to live. Eventually meeting my current therapist who is amazing. The first person to see me and see the dissociation and PTSD rather than "she looks fine so she must be making it up"

    I still struggle to convey distress. Even when I am beyond the brink but the team take me seriously now. No matter how calmly I say I'm suicidal.

    My pledge was and is to create less stigma for people who work in the mental health profession or emergency services.
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    Thank you for all the replies! It's amazing seeing people's stories and what people have been through/how far they've come- think I knew bits about all of you before but still parts I didn't! Hopefully someone will read this and be helped by it, and other things that have been going on for time to talk day around the place
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    I have no personal experience of mental health issues so far, which is why I'm posting here - to ask if anyone here has any advice to give me.

    One of my sons - an adult - clearly has a mental health problem: he is aggressive, even violent at times; verbally abusive; always needs to put forward how well he's done in his work and leisure activities; self-obsessed - I could go on. He has plenty of qualities as well - he's intelligent, well-organised, 100% reliable - again, I could go on. But there is obviously something very wrong; and he looks desperately unhappy.

    However, he refuses to consider that he might have a problem (he justifies even his worst behaviour by blaming other people for theirs), and he simply will not go to a counsellor because he doesn't think there's anything wrong with himself. The upshot of this is that he is estranging himself from his family and many of his friends; and he seems to be finding it difficult to make new friends and keep them for any length of time.

    So here's my question: when you have a mental health issue, what is it that tips the balance and makes you want to go and seek help? And what can we, as pretty much estranged parents, do to help?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no personal experience of mental health issues so far, which is why I'm posting here - to ask if anyone here has any advice to give me.

    One of my sons - an adult - clearly has a mental health problem: he is aggressive, even violent at times; verbally abusive; always needs to put forward how well he's done in his work and leisure activities; self-obsessed - I could go on. He has plenty of qualities as well - he's intelligent, well-organised, 100% reliable - again, I could go on. But there is obviously something very wrong; and he looks desperately unhappy.

    However, he refuses to consider that he might have a problem (he justifies even his worst behaviour by blaming other people for theirs), and he simply will not go to a counsellor because he doesn't think there's anything wrong with himself. The upshot of this is that he is estranging himself from his family and many of his friends; and he seems to be finding it difficult to make new friends and keep them for any length of time.

    So here's my question: when you have a mental health issue, what is it that tips the balance and makes you want to go and seek help? And what can we, as pretty much estranged parents, do to help?
    Sorry, I meant to come back and reply to this and completely forgot. I'm really not sure what to suggest if I'm honest, other than being there when he needs it and trying to encourage him where you can- don't push too hard though or he'll just resent it. It sounds like you've been doing all this though anyway. Is there anyone he will listen to and is close to still that might be able to persuade him? Even just show him this post when he's feeling more rational but I don't know how much this would help, you know him best though obviously. Be careful about how you word things too as the danger is as soon as he hears mentally ill etc he'll think of the stigma and not listen to anything else.

    Finally I would say go and speak to your/his GP- both about how you're feeling as this must be having an effect on you, and also what's going on with him as there might be something they can suggest. They can't tell you anything about him specifically due to patient confidentiality but they should still listen to you and give you advice on where to go. Have a look at this and see if there's anything in there you've not seen/tried, some other charities might have things too. Hope that helps a little bit and things improve for you all soon, it sounds horrible and like there's no right answer really other than just do what you can.
    • #1
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Sorry, I meant to come back and reply to this and completely forgot. I'm really not sure what to suggest if I'm honest, other than being there when he needs it and trying to encourage him where you can- don't push too hard though or he'll just resent it. It sounds like you've been doing all this though anyway. Is there anyone he will listen to and is close to still that might be able to persuade him? Even just show him this post when he's feeling more rational but I don't know how much this would help, you know him best though obviously. Be careful about how you word things too as the danger is as soon as he hears mentally ill etc he'll think of the stigma and not listen to anything else.

    Finally I would say go and speak to your/his GP- both about how you're feeling as this must be having an effect on you, and also what's going on with him as there might be something they can suggest. They can't tell you anything about him specifically due to patient confidentiality but they should still listen to you and give you advice on where to go. Have a look at this and see if there's anything in there you've not seen/tried, some other charities might have things too. Hope that helps a little bit and things improve for you all soon, it sounds horrible and like there's no right answer really other than just do what you can.
    Thanks for this - the link you gave was interesting. But it seems that there is so very little we can do. When he graduated last year he moved to a different part of the country to work, so I don't even know the GP he's registered with. Our GP at home is aware and supportive of us, but there's not much she can advise either apart from telling us to look on the bright side: we're better off without his aggression and anger around us all the time, which is, of course, quite right. But we miss our son - it's as if we're mourning for him, almost.

    We've only seen him twice in thirteen months; both times fairly briefly at funerals - the first time was a large funeral for a friend and he didn't speak to us at all - he just rolled his eyes and looked away when I waved at him across the church; last month was my mother's funeral and he was verbally pretty aggressive towards us.

    You're right that it is a horrid situation! Thanks for being supportive.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for this - the link you gave was interesting. But it seems that there is so very little we can do. When he graduated last year he moved to a different part of the country to work, so I don't even know the GP he's registered with. Our GP at home is aware and supportive of us, but there's not much she can advise either apart from telling us to look on the bright side: we're better off without his aggression and anger around us all the time, which is, of course, quite right. But we miss our son - it's as if we're mourning for him, almost.

    We've only seen him twice in thirteen months; both times fairly briefly at funerals - the first time was a large funeral for a friend and he didn't speak to us at all - he just rolled his eyes and looked away when I waved at him across the church; last month was my mother's funeral and he was verbally pretty aggressive towards us.

    You're right that it is a horrid situation! Thanks for being supportive.
    Good! Yeah, it really does glad your GP is supportive at least, well done for seeing her too. I really hope things work out for you all, seems like you're doing all the right things but I don't know as there's any right answer in a situation like this. It's just awful from all sides really :/ sorry to not have been of more help!
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    I have anixitey, which have caused to repeat a moodule at uni,(suppose to finish last year) but i would say i;m better then i was(or least mangeing better along its is still a stuggle sometimes)
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    I have been suffered from bulimia for more than 10 years. Yes, I'm still suffering! I first developed bulimia when I was around 11 years old when I got bullied from school, people called me fat girl, so I refused to eat anything. My parents got really worrried about me not eating anything so they keep force me to eat, I'm not saying it's their fault because I know they care about me. But to not wanting to eat anything, and to be forced to eat something at the same had pushed me towards bulimia. At first, I don't even know this is an illness. I thought it's totally a good thing because I could eat and not getting fat. Now, I have seen lots of the side effects such as I'm starting to develop social anxiety, i have no close friends because I have become son mystery about my eating habit and can never be fully open to anyone, my face start to develop lots of pigmentation, my skin got really dry, there are broken vein on my face because of vomiting too. I really hate these side effects since it kept me from living my life to its fullest. However, I have become very addicted to binge eating and vomiting. I sometimes want to get help but found no one I can trust. I don't dare to tell my parents about this. I'm an international student in the UK, so my parents don't really know about my symptoms much. If anyone could give me some suggestion or advice on where I could start to bid this bulimia, it would be really helpful. Thank you


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    (Original post by May-o2q)
    I have been suffered from bulimia for more than 10 years. Yes, I'm still suffering! I first developed bulimia when I was around 11 years old when I got bullied from school, people called me fat girl, so I refused to eat anything. My parents got really worrried about me not eating anything so they keep force me to eat, I'm not saying it's their fault because I know they care about me. But to not wanting to eat anything, and to be forced to eat something at the same had pushed me towards bulimia. At first, I don't even know this is an illness. I thought it's totally a good thing because I could eat and not getting fat. Now, I have seen lots of the side effects such as I'm starting to develop social anxiety, i have no close friends because I have become son mystery about my eating habit and can never be fully open to anyone, my face start to develop lots of pigmentation, my skin got really dry, there are broken vein on my face because of vomiting too. I really hate these side effects since it kept me from living my life to its fullest. However, I have become very addicted to binge eating and vomiting. I sometimes want to get help but found no one I can trust. I don't dare to tell my parents about this. I'm an international student in the UK, so my parents don't really know about my symptoms much. If anyone could give me some suggestion or advice on where I could start to bid this bulimia, it would be really helpful. Thank you


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    Hey, have you seen anyone about this at all? It depends where you're from and things for how much healthcare you'd be eligible for in the UK but even if you have to pay, I'd really advise talking to someone about this. There should be some support services at your uni you can access too- these could be a better place to start. If you feel able to tell a friend or someone about it they might be able to come with you even, or copy this post onto an email or print it out so you don't have to say it out loud. Your parents don't need to know how long it's going on, just that you're struggling if you want to tell them this. Definitely talk to someone about it though! Good luck
    • #2
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    I have struggled with, what I think is depression, since my early teens, I've been the doctors over it numerous times but have never followed through as cannot do counselling. I started drinking heavily when I was 16 and have been the same ever since, I haven't done a day without alcohol in years. I attempted to take my own life when I was 19 but have never tried since, I fell into a sort of numb state. My friend died just over 2 years ago which, since then, has left me with crippling guilt and anxiety and the only times I leave my house is to go to the work or to go get alcohol. It's a vicious circle because my anxiety and guilt causes me to drink more which makes me feel even worse once the alcohol wears off but then I need a drink to help me forget for small times. My job makes me unbearingly unhappy and I go from either being numb and staring into space or crying for hours at a time but I can't give up working due to lack of funds
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Hey, have you seen anyone about this at all? It depends where you're from and things for how much healthcare you'd be eligible for in the UK but even if you have to pay, I'd really advise talking to someone about this. There should be some support services at your uni you can access too- these could be a better place to start. If you feel able to tell a friend or someone about it they might be able to come with you even, or copy this post onto an email or print it out so you don't have to say it out loud. Your parents don't need to know how long it's going on, just that you're struggling if you want to tell them this. Definitely talk to someone about it though! Good luck
    Thank Furryface! I could not find someone i trust to talk to, either i dont want to hurt my loved ones, or im afraid people will laugh at me. but thank you so much for your words. it cheers me up a lot
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have struggled with, what I think is depression, since my early teens, I've been the doctors over it numerous times but have never followed through as cannot do counselling. I started drinking heavily when I was 16 and have been the same ever since, I haven't done a day without alcohol in years. I attempted to take my own life when I was 19 but have never tried since, I fell into a sort of numb state. My friend died just over 2 years ago which, since then, has left me with crippling guilt and anxiety and the only times I leave my house is to go to the work or to go get alcohol. It's a vicious circle because my anxiety and guilt causes me to drink more which makes me feel even worse once the alcohol wears off but then I need a drink to help me forget for small times. My job makes me unbearingly unhappy and I go from either being numb and staring into space or crying for hours at a time but I can't give up working due to lack of funds
    Im sorry I wish I could offer you some suggestion but me myself is not a drinker so I dont know what its like. I hope you get better soon.
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    (Original post by May-o2q)
    Thank Furryface! I could not find someone i trust to talk to, either i dont want to hurt my loved ones, or im afraid people will laugh at me. but thank you so much for your words. it cheers me up a lot
    Have you heard of beat? Meant to include them originally sorry but they're a charity that helps with eating disorders in the UK, they have a helpline too which I think is free. Could be worth a try, you have nothing to lose from it and there's loads of info on their website if you don't want to actually get in contact with them. Glad to have helped a little bit
 
 
 
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