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Do parents have a right to know their children's finances? Watch

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    #1

    Hello,

    Context: "single" parent since 2011, but house is paid for, all the bills paid for including electricity, insurance, gas, internet, tv either by my dad for my brother. Mum worked 25 hours a week in a childcare job until her hours were cut down as of 6 months ago.

    I contribute £200 per month for general expenses, which is pretty much just food to my mum.

    The problem has been that I forget to give the money on a specific date per month. I genuinely forget and mean no malice. I just have a lot going on, and me taking money is the least of my worries. The money is paid every month, just not on the specific date.

    So today this happened.
    She asked do I want to contribute more, in a 'jokingly' way. I said no.
    Then she went on a rant as to why mothers should know their children's finances.
    I said that it doesn't matter if you're a parent, your finances are private and just not discussed.
    Bare in mind that £200 a month is 20% of my take home earnings, and I've only been on work for a year.

    What do you guys think?
    Do parents have a right to know about their children's finances?
    Was I in the wrong for saying no?

    Cheers
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    You were wrong for saying no. You're living at your parents house and costing them money. You should really set up a standing order.
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    Of course not. I never discuss money with my parents. I prefer financial independence.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You were wrong for saying no. You're living at your parents house and costing them money. You should really set up a standing order.
    I'n not sure if you read the OP.

    The only outgoing expenses are food. I only live with my mum and brother.

    My dad lives separately but still foots some of the bills
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    #1

    Yeah, otherwise parents interrogate you about what you're spending your money on, what you're saving up, and ultimately leads to arguments about whether you 'could' be doing more.

    Its an unhealthy relationship when you fights or arguments arise over money.


    Transparency doesn't help anyone
    (Original post by Sternumator)
    Of course not. I never discuss money with my parents. I prefer financial independence.
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    I agree that you should set up a standing order, this seems silly not to. Otherwise, no, I don't think your parents have any need to know the ins and outs of your finances. You wouldn't discuss your finances with a landlord either. If what you're contributing to the house doesn't match up with the expenditure then sure, there should be a discussion about raising (or lowering) your contribution. They don't need to know anything more than you can or can't afford to pay that though.
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    The parents lose the right to know the private stuff as soon as the kid is 18
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,

    Context: "single" parent since 2011, but house is paid for, all the bills paid for including electricity, insurance, gas, internet, tv either by my dad for my brother. Mum worked 25 hours a week in a childcare job until her hours were cut down as of 6 months ago.

    I contribute £200 per month for general expenses, which is pretty much just food to my mum.

    The problem has been that I forget to give the money on a specific date per month. I genuinely forget and mean no malice. I just have a lot going on, and me taking money is the least of my worries. The money is paid every month, just not on the specific date.

    So today this happened.
    She asked do I want to contribute more, in a 'jokingly' way. I said no.
    Then she went on a rant as to why mothers should know their children's finances.
    I said that it doesn't matter if you're a parent, your finances are private and just not discussed.
    Bare in mind that £200 a month is 20% of my take home earnings, and I've only been on work for a year.

    What do you guys think?
    Do parents have a right to know about their children's finances?
    Was I in the wrong for saying no?

    Cheers

    No, but you dont appear to be contributing anything other than for food.
    You are also an irregular payer. If you are forgetful then create a standing order ( just seen said above). Your excuses were poor.
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    (Original post by Andy98)
    The parents lose the right to know the private stuff as soon as the kid is 18
    Even such as in in this case, where the OP is still living at home and their living costs are subsidised by their parents?
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    No, but you dont appear to be contributing anything other than for food.
    You are also an irregular payer. If you are forgetful then create a standing order ( just seen said above). Your excuses were poor.
    Yeah and this month I paid on time.

    Yes, I don't need to contribute anything else because my dad pays the electric, gas and insurance. My brother pays for tv, internet and stuff like that.

    My dad and brother are not the problem.
    My dad thinks that I shouldn't be contributing at all.

    (Original post by will_jg)
    Even such as in in this case, where the OP is still living at home and their living costs are subsidised by their parents?
    Read above.
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    OP we need to be smart here, not see who stands the higher moral ground.

    Living in the UK is pretty expensive, especially so in London and the south. You could not in any way on your current
    income afford to live on your own, even if you did, it would be stupid. Your whole income would go in rent and there
    would be nothing to show for the hard work you put in.

    So this is what I would do, I would contribute to any essential bills your mum can't cover. But she should be pretty good in feeding for two, the rest of the money I would be aggressively investing. This is your chance to allocate most of your capital into the markets and develop passive return.

    For example, I currently have £29,400 in the stock market across 11 different securities/funds. It generates a passive income of £1200 a year without me doing anything right now. The portfolio also grows, but it gives me free money. Now if you reinvest that free money, you will generate even more free money in the next year ( we are earning interest upon interest). So say that becomes £1400 in year 2. We can carry on to a point where you will be earning £4000-£5000 in free income in 7-10 years time. This is without adding any extra capital. Now if you do add capital, this is will explode even further, you will easily be able to generate £10,000-£12,000 a year from dividends if you are willing to add £1000 a month to the portfolio.

    This is real financial independence.
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    Teach me oh wise one

    We live in the Midlands, and the house has no mortgage.

    (Original post by MrMarket)
    OP we need to be smart here, not see who stands the higher moral ground.

    Living in the UK is pretty expensive, especially so in London and the south. You could not in any way on your current
    income afford to live on your own, even if you did, it would be stupid. Your whole income would go in rent and there
    would be nothing to show for the hard work you put in.

    So this is what I would do, I would contribute to any essential bills your mum can't cover. But she should be pretty good in feeding for two, the rest of the money I would be aggressively investing. This is your chance to allocate most of your capital into the markets and develop passive return.

    For example, I currently have £29,400 in the stock market across 11 different securities/funds. It generates a passive income of £1200 a year without me doing anything right now. The portfolio also grows, but it gives me free money. Now if you reinvest that free money, you will generate even more free money in the next year ( we are earning interest upon interest). So say that becomes £1400 in year 2. We can carry on to a point where you will be earning £4000-£5000 in free income in 7-10 years time. This is without adding any extra capital. Now if you do add capital, this is will explode even further, you will easily be able to generate £10,000-£12,000 a year from dividends if you are willing to add £1000 a month to the portfolio.

    This is real financial independence.
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    (Original post by MrMarket)
    OP we need to be smart here, not see who stands the higher moral ground.

    Living in the UK is pretty expensive, especially so in London and the south. You could not in any way on your current
    income afford to live on your own, even if you did, it would be stupid. Your whole income would go in rent and there
    would be nothing to show for the hard work you put in.

    So this is what I would do, I would contribute to any essential bills your mum can't cover. But she should be pretty good in feeding for two, the rest of the money I would be aggressively investing. This is your chance to allocate most of your capital into the markets and develop passive return.

    For example, I currently have £29,400 in the stock market across 11 different securities/funds. It generates a passive income of £1200 a year without me doing anything right now. The portfolio also grows, but it gives me free money. Now if you reinvest that free money, you will generate even more free money in the next year ( we are earning interest upon interest). So say that becomes £1400 in year 2. We can carry on to a point where you will be earning £4000-£5000 in free income in 7-10 years time. This is without adding any extra capital. Now if you do add capital, this is will explode even further, you will easily be able to generate £10,000-£12,000 a year from dividends if you are willing to add £1000 a month to the portfolio.

    This is real financial independence.
    Does every single post of yours have to tell us how much money you have and how you're going to increase it, regardless of the content of the OP's original question?
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      (Original post by MrMarket)
      OP we need to be smart here, not see who stands the higher moral ground.

      Living in the UK is pretty expensive, especially so in London and the south. You could not in any way on your current
      income afford to live on your own, even if you did, it would be stupid. Your whole income would go in rent and there
      would be nothing to show for the hard work you put in.

      So this is what I would do, I would contribute to any essential bills your mum can't cover. But she should be pretty good in feeding for two, the rest of the money I would be aggressively investing. This is your chance to allocate most of your capital into the markets and develop passive return.

      For example, I currently have £29,400 in the stock market across 11 different securities/funds. It generates a passive income of £1200 a year without me doing anything right now. The portfolio also grows, but it gives me free money. Now if you reinvest that free money, you will generate even more free money in the next year ( we are earning interest upon interest). So say that becomes £1400 in year 2. We can carry on to a point where you will be earning £4000-£5000 in free income in 7-10 years time. This is without adding any extra capital. Now if you do add capital, this is will explode even further, you will easily be able to generate £10,000-£12,000 a year from dividends if you are willing to add £1000 a month to the portfolio.

      This is real financial independence.
      :dong: let's just all start showing how big our dicks are, that should help the OP figure out what to do.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Teach me oh wise one

      We live in the Midlands, and the house has no mortgage.
      It is hard, I'm a PhD student in finance, I have a MSc in finance and econometrics, it's a bit like me being a medical doctor for a day and not killing anyone.

      I think you need to have a passion and interest in investing, you should be learning from YouTube and other financial sources (bloomberg, thisismoney, financial times).

      I suggest you learn how the stock market works and how to build a portfolio. Start by putting in small amounts of money, maybe in a fund. Hargreaves Lansdown is my stockbroker and they have a lot of funds for novice investors.

      http://www.hl.co.uk/funds/hl-funds/hl-select-uk-shares

      I recommend the fund above for novice investors. I like their picks, a bunch of stable defensive companies (Unilever, Diageo etc) with some mid cap stocks with a lot of potential (Just Eat, Playtech, Dominos).
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      (Original post by Reality Check)
      Does every single post of yours have to tell us how much money you have and how you're going to increase it, regardless of the content of the OP's original question?
      It's an example of what OP can easily achieve within the next 3-4 years.
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      (Original post by Tiger Rag)
      You were wrong for saying no. You're living at your parents house and costing them money. You should really set up a standing order.
      Are children supposed to feel some kind of guilt for being alive and costing their parent(s) money?
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Hello,

      Context: "single" parent since 2011, but house is paid for, all the bills paid for including electricity, insurance, gas, internet, tv either by my dad for my brother. Mum worked 25 hours a week in a childcare job until her hours were cut down as of 6 months ago.

      I contribute £200 per month for general expenses, which is pretty much just food to my mum.

      The problem has been that I forget to give the money on a specific date per month. I genuinely forget and mean no malice. I just have a lot going on, and me taking money is the least of my worries. The money is paid every month, just not on the specific date.

      So today this happened.
      She asked do I want to contribute more, in a 'jokingly' way. I said no.
      Then she went on a rant as to why mothers should know their children's finances.
      I said that it doesn't matter if you're a parent, your finances are private and just not discussed.
      Bare in mind that £200 a month is 20% of my take home earnings, and I've only been on work for a year.

      What do you guys think?
      Do parents have a right to know about their children's finances?
      Was I in the wrong for saying no?

      Cheers
      I'm not sure it's a question of 'right' to know. It's about being open with information. You mother is allowing you to continue to live at home for relatively low board of £200 per month. You've already told us she's a single parent, and her hours at work have been cut down - it's therefore reasonable to think that money might be quite tight for her. Paying her late might well mean that she doesn't have the money to pay her bills when they become due, and could be causing her significant problems. Bills do have to be paid by specific dates, and we all have to make sure our payments are made on time. I think this is why she might have snapped at you a bit.

      You say you pay 20% of your wages over for board, meaning 80% of it is yours to do as you want. This is rather a lot - most of us don't have a luxury of keeping so much of our income as 'spends'. If money is tight with your mother, this might well be a sore point with her - and you can understand that, surely. If she sees you going out spending on nights out and new clothes, she might feel that she wants to know a bit more about your finances to see if you could reasonably be contributing a bit more. Again, I don't think your mother is being particularly unreasonable here.

      I understand where you're coming from, but you do have a pretty good deal here. Cut your mum some slack - things might be difficult for her at the moment and she might be worrying about things a bit. Have you tried talking to her to see if she's ok?
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      (Original post by MrMarket)
      It's an example of what OP can easily achieve within the next 3-4 years.
      I'm sorry but this is a very childish, simplistic view of life and has no basis in reality for the majority of people. It's easy to save money when you don't really have to pay for any grown up expenses, including having children to look after.

      Maybe instead of showing off about how well you're doing, you could try a little bit of humility and sensitivity towards people who don't have thousands of pounds invested, nor are ever likely to. I'm sure people would find your posts far more helpful that way.
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      (Original post by Willy Pete)
      Are children supposed to feel some kind of guilt for being alive and costing their parent(s) money?
      "children" in the context might be 'offspring'. This is an adult.
     
     
     
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