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Do parents have a right to know their children's finances? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We live in the Midlands, and the house has no mortgage.
    You were right to say no. £200 seems excessive anyway, between the 5 guys in my student house we spent that much and food and alcohol in a month. You are being fleeced, that money should be saved somewhere so you can eventually move out when you can afford it.
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    (Original post by cambio wechsel)
    "children" in the context might be 'offspring'. This is an adult.
    Title says children and the OP doesn't say how old the poster is. However a child is another word for offspring.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'n not sure if you read the OP.

    The only outgoing expenses are food. I only live with my mum and brother.

    My dad lives separately but still foots some of the bills
    So, no gas, electric, water, internet or council tax?
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    Thoughtful response but I'd advise that you read my subsequent posts about the financial situation.

    Its hard for me to talk about money with my mum and we don't have a good relationship.

    A lot of background issues
    Including 'respect' and freedom before I left for uni.

    We don't get along unfortunately.
    (Original post by Reality Check)
    I'm not sure it's a question of 'right' to know. It's about being open with information. You mother is allowing you to continue to live at home for relatively low board of £200 per month. You've already told us she's a single parent, and her hours at work have been cut down - it's therefore reasonable to think that money might be quite tight for her. Paying her late might well mean that she doesn't have the money to pay her bills when they become due, and could be causing her significant problems. Bills do have to be paid by specific dates, and we all have to make sure our payments are made on time. I think this is why she might have snapped at you a bit.

    You say you pay 20% of your wages over for board, meaning 80% of it is yours to do as you want. This is rather a lot - most of us don't have a luxury of keeping so much of our income as 'spends'. If money is tight with your mother, this might well be a sore point with her - and you can understand that, surely. If she sees you going out spending on nights out and new clothes, she might feel that she wants to know a bit more about your finances to see if you could reasonably be contributing a bit more. Again, I don't think your mother is being particularly unreasonable here.

    I understand where you're coming from, but you do have a pretty good deal here. Cut your mum some slack - things might be difficult for her at the moment and she might be worrying about things a bit. Have you tried talking to her to see if she's ok?
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    ,

    So, no gas, electric, water, internet or council tax?
    Nope
    In the past she's spent quite a bit of money on house improvements, and does cook, clean etc

    But thats her personality where even if we tried to clean we'd get shouted at for doing it 'wrong'

    And given that she has a lot of downtime I don't find it unreasonable that most of the household chores would be done anyway.

    I work 9-5, but I leave the house at 8 and arrive at 6

    My mum works on average 3-4 hours a day.
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    (Original post by Willy Pete)
    Title says children and the OP doesn't say how old the poster is. However a child is another word for offspring.
    well, yes, but my point was that the equivocation is here unhelpful: "should children feel guilty for costing their parents money?". Plainly not 12 year olds, but a 40 year old sponging child might want to take a look at himself.

    The OP confirms the poster as having a net monthly income of £1000, from this we can reasonably extrapolate that s/he is over 18 and living with a mum who had been only a part time childcare worker even before her hours were reduced.
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    Practicality and pragmatism are in order.

    First of all, I take it everyone in the house is an adult or are there other siblings under 18 or in full time education?

    If you all live in the same home, then all adult (over 18, employed and not in full time education) financial contributors must amicably discuss the essential household outgoings and agree to a fair and equal contribution based on relative incomes.

    That means everyone declaring their income and deciding what is essential and what is not.

    But that does not mean you need to declare how you spend your disposable income after you paid your agreed share.

    You said your dad takes care of the essentials, all well and good - but one has to ask, why is your dad still paying all of the bills? Is it because he wants to keep control of the equity in the house assuming it is mortgaged?

    If you are an adult and living at home, then it's fair that you take responsibility for your fair share of the bills. Anything else is simply sponging.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nope
    In the past she's spent quite a bit of money on house improvements, and does cook, clean etc

    But thats her personality where even if we tried to clean we'd get shouted at for doing it 'wrong'

    And given that she has a lot of downtime I don't find it unreasonable that most of the household chores would be done anyway.

    I work 9-5, but I leave the house at 8 and arrive at 6

    My mum works on average 3-4 hours a day.
    You've missed my point. Unless all those things are free?
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    (Original post by cambio wechsel)
    well, yes, but my point was that the equivocation is here unhelpful: "should children feel guilty for costing their parents money?". Plainly not 12 year olds, but a 40 year old sponging child might want to take a look at himself.

    The OP confirms the poster as having a net monthly income of £1000, from this we can reasonably extrapolate that s/he is over 18 and living with a mum who had been only a part time childcare worker even before her hours were reduced.
    I can see how there could be some confusion.

    My opinion on the subject, the guy is getting fleeced by his mother so that she can make up her wages, the £200 is not required to maintain the household because of the extra cost of him being there. It is probably being spent as personal expenditure.
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    (Original post by uberteknik)
    why is your dad still paying all of the bills? Is it because he wants to keep control of the equity in the house assuming it is mortgaged?
    i believe he said mortgage has been paid, so my guess it would have been part of a divorce settlement.
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    (Original post by MrMarket)
    This is not well, I'm telling OP how to take control of his life from a young age. People end up paycheck to paycheck because they waste money in their youth.

    This is not saving money by the way, this is investing, if you get it wrong, the market will rip you apart. Hence you need to educate yourself, once you get it right, you will be able to generate a lot of easy money.

    There is nothing to show off, it's an example, if I wanted to show off I would have told you my dad has £240,000 in the market, £70,000 in gold and £120,000 in cash. Now that is showing off.
    Busted.

    You're a previously banned user, aren't you:

    (Original post by michalekurs890)
    No, my family has £80,000 in gold and close to £120,000 in cash as well. So I think we should still be well off. Not to brag, but I guess our net worth excluding property is £410,000 in cash plus the house (add on £650,000) so nearly £1.1 million But that's not important, the important thing is the shares.
    I thought this content looked familiar - even down to the 'white' family stuff and singing the praises of Asian families.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, otherwise parents interrogate you about what you're spending your money on, what you're saving up, and ultimately leads to arguments about whether you 'could' be doing more.

    Its an unhealthy relationship when you fights or arguments arise over money.


    Transparency doesn't help anyone
    I think transparency is very good.
    If it wasn't for my mother my finances wouldn't be making as much money (I make 300£+ year interest).
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    (Original post by AmeliaLost)
    I agree that you should set up a standing order, this seems silly not to. Otherwise, no, I don't think your parents have any need to know the ins and outs of your finances. You wouldn't discuss your finances with a landlord either. If what you're contributing to the house doesn't match up with the expenditure then sure, there should be a discussion about raising (or lowering) your contribution. They don't need to know anything more than you can or can't afford to pay that though.
    What is a standing order? I'm 18 but still live with my mum, have some moderate special needs tbh.

    I really need to get the hang of things for when I live on my own
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    (Original post by elmosandy)
    What is a standing order? I'm 18 but still live with my mum, have some moderate special needs tbh.

    I really need to get the hang of things for when I live on my own
    It's an instruction to your bank to pay money to someone at fixed intervals. It's similar to a direct debit, but you set it up and set the payment frequency etc.
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    (Original post by Willy Pete)
    I can see how there could be some confusion.

    My opinion on the subject, the guy is getting fleeced by his mother so that she can make up her wages, the £200 is not required to maintain the household because of the extra cost of him being there. It is probably being spent as personal expenditure.
    Good luck finding somewhere for that where everything is paid for.
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    It's an instruction to your bank to pay money to someone at fixed intervals. It's similar to a direct debit, but you set it up and set the payment frequency etc.
    Ah ok, what is direct debit? My mum doesn't understand what it is excatly either. Is it like a cheque?
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Good luck finding somewhere for that where everything is paid for.
    This isn't about private renting, this is about living in your family home which has already been paid for by the father.
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    Hello.

    I'm 22 - one year in work after finishing uni.

    The only people in the house are me, my mum and my brother who is mid 20s.

    I will reiterate that my mum and dad are separated.

    My dad pays most of the bills as he feels thats his obligation

    There is no concern about a mortgage because my dad paid that off before they separated.

    My dad does not believe that I should even be contributing 200 quid a month, but its not a big deal.

    I agree that bills are obviously not free, but if my dad pays them, so if anything I should be contributing to my dad more in this situation.


    (Original post by cambio wechsel)
    well, yes, but my point was that the equivocation is here unhelpful: "should children feel guilty for costing their parents money?". Plainly not 12 year olds, but a 40 year old sponging child might want to take a look at himself.

    The OP confirms the poster as having a net monthly income of £1000, from this we can reasonably extrapolate that s/he is over 18 and living with a mum who had been only a part time childcare worker even before her hours were reduced.
    (Original post by uberteknik)
    Practicality and pragmatism is in order.

    First of all, I take it everyone in the house is an adult or are there other siblings under 18 or in full time education?

    If you all live in the same home, then all adult (over 18, employed and not in full time education) financial contributors must amicably discuss the essential household outgoings and agree to a fair and equal contribution based on relative incomes.

    That means everyone declaring their income and deciding what is essential and what is not.

    But that does not mean you need to declare how you spend your disposable income after you paid your agreed share.

    You said your dad takes care of the essentials, all well and good - but one has to ask, why is your dad still paying all of the bills? Is it because he wants to keep control of the equity in the house assuming it is mortgaged?

    If you are adult and living at home, then it's fair that you take responsibility for your fair share of the bills. Anything else is simply sponging.
    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You've missed my point. Unless all those things are free?
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    (Original post by elmosandy)
    Ah ok, what is direct debit? My mum doesn't understand what it is excatly either. Is it like a cheque?
    A direct debit is similar to a standing order, but they are generally set up to pay things like gas/electricity, council tax, credit cards - things like that. It is an authority from you to allow the company to take variable amounts from your bank account at set intervals - the company who is taking the direct debit will advise you via a statement or similar how much they are taking and the date on which they'll take it. If a direct debit is taken in error, you are entitled to a full and immediate refund - and you can cancel a direct debit when you want, so you are always in control of it.
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    A direct debit is similar to a standing order, but they are generally set up to pay things like gas/electricity, council tax, credit cards - things like that. It is an authority from you to allow the company to take variable amounts from your bank account at set intervals - the company who is taking the direct debit will advise you via a statement or similar how much they are taking and the date on which they'll take it. If a direct debit is taken in error, you are entitled to a full and immediate refund - and you can cancel a direct debit when you want, so you are always in control of it.
    Ah ok thank you.

    I realldy don't know anything about banks. Need to start :s
 
 
 
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