Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

It hurts when I hear how my loved ones feel sorry for me Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I do me. But I have learnt that people fake their reaction when I perceive it to be genuine and then behind my back i have family members say bless her she's like a child or things are just different when they are having a deep conversation about me. I even remember once my ex said to me bless you but you are not sharp enough. It hits me deep. I feel down. I always say good things about them but it hurts me, knowing that they do in fact care about me, they love me but they pity me behind my back and it is anxiety inducing, I feel numb and I want to distant myself but the truth is I am who I am and I will never change that but I still feel hurt.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Like you said, you do you, so why listen to what others think of you if it's gunna hurt you. Just don't worry about what others think of you as long as you are happy with yourself. If you weren't happy with yourself then I'd say try to do things that make you feel better about yourself and prove them wrong. But if not, then literally people will always say stuff you may not agree with or like but who cares! It just shows that your important enough for them to talk, think and discuss about you even when your no around!
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do me. But I have learnt that people fake their reaction when I perceive it to be genuine and then behind my back i have family members say bless her she's like a child or things are just different when they are having a deep conversation about me. I even remember once my ex said to me bless you but you are not sharp enough. It hits me deep. I feel down. I always say good things about them but it hurts me, knowing that they do in fact care about me, they love me but they pity me behind my back and it is anxiety inducing, I feel numb and I want to distant myself but the truth is I am who I am and I will never change that but I still feel hurt.
    I know what you mean. I think I got on with people but you never know what they are saying about you. A woman I did sports with and went out at night with a few times told the instructor not to ask me about blood pressure as I wouldn't know (I'm a nurse), the instructor told me he was going to ask me before she told him that, thinking it was funny. She views me as very dopy and told someone else that I'm a waste of life (because I don't go out drinking much). Other people have said things about me. My aunt is a nurse too and helped me with a placement I was struggling with. 2 years later she is now telling the family that she did everything for me, that I didn't know anything and that I must have go through the course on a wing and pray. Maybe I'm not a good healthcare worker but yea it's like when I let my guard down and be honest I feel people kind of make a deal about it and turn it against me. I don't know why, I find that now I think twice before asking people for help and I feel I need to put a more confident act on.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do me. But I have learnt that people fake their reaction when I perceive it to be genuine and then behind my back i have family members say bless her she's like a child or things are just different when they are having a deep conversation about me. I even remember once my ex said to me bless you but you are not sharp enough. It hits me deep. I feel down. I always say good things about them but it hurts me, knowing that they do in fact care about me, they love me but they pity me behind my back and it is anxiety inducing, I feel numb and I want to distant myself but the truth is I am who I am and I will never change that but I still feel hurt.
    You shouldnt change who you are. They wont change their opinion unless given reason to. When you get some independence, Then you can prosper amd be happy in who you are. this will mean you will care much less about what others think. Not everyone will talk behind your back and you will hopefully find some who accept you as you are.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know what you mean. I think I got on with people but you never know what they are saying about you. A woman I did sports with and went out at night with a few times told the instructor not to ask me about blood pressure as I wouldn't know (I'm a nurse), the instructor told me he was going to ask me before she told him that, thinking it was funny. She views me as very dopy and told someone else that I'm a waste of life (because I don't go out drinking much). Other people have said things about me. My aunt is a nurse too and helped me with a placement I was struggling with. 2 years later she is now telling the family that she did everything for me, that I didn't know anything and that I must have go through the course on a wing and pray. Maybe I'm not a good healthcare worker but yea it's like when I let my guard down and be honest I feel people kind of make a deal about it and turn it against me. I don't know why, I find that now I think twice before asking people for help and I feel I need to put a more confident act on.
    I could have written exactly this! I'm also training to be a nurse. I get anxious because people underestimate my abilities as I have the tendency to ask for help just for reassurance and then I get my mentor saying it's scary how you are going to qualify in 8 months and you still don't know these things. So I've stopped trusting people and I'm just thinking when I qualify I'm going to work bank, do my thing and leave. I hope things get better for both of us.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You shouldnt change who you are. They wont change their opinion unless given reason to. When you get some independence, Then you can prosper amd be happy in who you are. this will mean you will care much less about what others think. Not everyone will talk behind your back and you will hopefully find some who accept you as you are.
    Thanks I needed to hear this
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks I needed to hear this
    Its boring to be hurt all the time. You have no control over what they say, but you have 100% control over how you feel or react. If you are about to qualify then thats a great achievement, just move away and start your own life, then get healthy people around you. the most importnat person to you is yourself and its what you think that matters. people who you cnat trust arent worth bothering about and they arent your friends. Maybe you could do with some self esteem therapy or maybe just get away from a toxic atmosphere (living at home)? You dont have long to go, shut them out and focus.

    Keep reminding yourself of this.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 4, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.