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    hey guys, I hope your all doing well ☺
    so today my mum told me to clean the house and stuff and fill in some forms for her etc while she was a way doing some stuff since it was my day of school. so of course I said yes. when she went I took a nap since I have been exhausted the pass few days and I thought I would do it before she comes home. but i was wrong 2 hours later she knocks the door and I start to panic thinking **** im done. I thought she was just gonna shout out me and stuff which is understandable but I was wrong again. she took the mop I was holding and hit it right on my elbow and then my arm. and Im telling you it was the most painful **** ever. ( she was with her friend btw)
    so I started to cry because of the pain. she started shouting and embarrasing me and telling friendstuff like ( I havent got a daughter. she's 19 years old and can't even do a simple task. she's a waste of space.)her friend was agreeing with everything she said and even told me I should treat my mum better and then she hit me on the head and started to feel a little dizzy.

    btw this is not the first time she's done this as she has hit me quite a lot in the past. for example there is one time she told to buy something for her and I must have got the wrong item by acciendent. so she slapped across the face so hard. my dad had to come in between us and calm her down. i understand i made a mistake but surly there is no need to get physical. other than this shes a good mum and loves her children. but she hurts me a lot and even damages my self esteem sometimes by calling me fat and comparing me to other girls. please dont tell me to call social services or anything lool I'm 19.

    I just want to make my mum see that I am a human and I deserve to be treated better. ( btw she doesn't act like this in front of my dad but this time she was caught of guard) I'm so lost! any advice would be appreciated. thanks you x
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    Wow. I'm sorry you have to go through that. And I know you didn't want people to say that you should call social services or something but it might be for the best, you know. It's definitely hard to tell someone about this, especially as you may feel you don't want to drag your mother down. Plus, you're 19. Maybe you could move out for a bit and live with a mate, if that's possible. Or live with a family member you trust for a while. Firstly, I think you should tell your father though. If she doesn't act like this around your father, then you should tell him this and maybe he could help by intervening and sorting this out
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    Asian by any chance?

    Look best you can do is apologise even if you aren't in the wrong. Wait for her to cool down first.
    Then take some responsibility at home to show you are willing to help out.
    Chances are that will soften your mother towards you.
    When you think you've given your mother enough time to calm down, talk to her gently and say Mum I love you. You've done so much for me. Now I'd like to learn to do things. You were right. I should have listened to you and learnt earlier. (Yes basically sucking up a bit... but it will soften her even if she won't show it)
    When you talk with her you will have to do it subtly and wisely and tell her that hitting is in no way the answer. It will make you hate her in the long run.

    Yes. Many people will not agree with this, but it's been known to work. And seriously without communicating, I don't know what else you can do.
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    Just to add as 27FTsaid, yes you can talk to your father.
    Still I worry that doing so could make your mother more resentful towards you, as she ensures not to hurt you when he's there. That being said, she would worry you'd go tell him if she hurt you, so it could stop her doing that.

    Maybe try talk to her first, if that doesn't work then bring your father into the picture?
    • #1
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    (Original post by starfab)
    Asian by any chance?

    Look best you can do is apologise even if you aren't in the wrong. Wait for her to cool down first.
    Then take some responsibility at home to show you are willing to help out.
    Chances are that will soften your mother towards you.
    When you think you've given your mother enough time to calm down, talk to her gently and say Mum I love you. You've done so much for me. Now I'd like to learn to do things. You were right. I should have listened to you and learnt earlier. (Yes basically sucking up a bit... but it will soften her even if she won't show it)
    When you talk with her you will have to do it subtly and wisely and tell her that hitting is in no way the answer. It will make you hate her in the long run.

    Yes. Many people will not agree with this, but it's been known to work. And seriously without communicating, I don't know what else you can do.
    hey there thanks for the reply. and no I'm not Asian but I do come from a Muslim background. I honestly feel like I'm starting to hate her even though I dont want to. I always want to see the good in things but this has been going on for too long. And the thing is i'm always willing to help out. when I make a small mistake she forgets about everything I have ever done and goes on about how bad of a daughter I am. tbh it looks I am gonna have to suck it up as long as I live and make sure i don't treat my future children like this😔
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hey there thanks for the reply. and no I'm not Asian but I do come from a Muslim background. I honestly feel like I'm starting to hate her even though I dont want to. I always want to see the good in things but this has been going on for too long. And the thing is i'm always willing to help out. when I make a small mistake she forgets about everything I have ever done and goes on about how bad of a daughter I am. tbh it looks I am gonna have to suck it up as long as I live and make sure i don't treat my future children like this😔
    Okay so Muslim? Well, how about just leaving islamic books and literature around where the mother and daughter have a great bond? Maybe she'll get an interest and read that...
    After all Islamically, she's not allowed to treat you like that.

    Any other siblings, and how's her treatment with them?

    I can imagine, its hard when someone in the family has a constant go at you.
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    My Parents used to smack me when I was younger If I did something wrong. Sometimes i'd get the belt or shoe too.

    One time when I around 12 my mother started hitting me as I was "misbehaving" ...She was slapping me on the back and It really hurt. I don't know what came over me but I struck her back. She seemed pretty shocked and sent me to my room. After that incident she pretty much stopped hitting me. I can only remember one time after that she actually hit me.


    you are 19 now OP,I suggest you start striking back.

    no way would I let something like that slide if I was an Adult. Even if it was my dad who could still probably 'ave me at age 18 I would have still kicked up some massive fuss, at least verbally

    by 26ish though I would have likely stuck him back, He was getting older now and I had started lifting around that age ....

    I don't live with them anymore but definitely these days, I would easily win if it came to blows

    I suggest you at least verbally stand up for yourself, consider physically too.

    personally I am against hitting your children/kids.
    There are other ways to disiplin
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    sorry but your mums a ****ing *****
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    (Original post by epoddoulc4)
    Hi, Islam permits parents to hit their children so there's nothing you can do about it.
    No i doesn't. So please don't make OP feel despondent.
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    (Original post by epoddoulc4)
    Hi, Islam permits parents to hit their children so there's nothing you can do about it.

    yada, yada, yada

    Islam permits practically anything in the name of Allah ...innit
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    Hitting your parents back? You are disgusting. Honestly people like you make me sick.

    Don't hit anyone unless you are prepared to be hit back is my mindset

    I think it's worst actually for a grown Adult to hit a child. I do not know why this sort thing is socially acceptable. You couldn't get away with knocking around someone elses kid, so why should you get away doing it to your own?

    and no, I don't feel bad about hitting my mother back at age 12. She shouldn't have been hitting me in the first place, I ain't no human punchbag.
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    (Original post by starfab)
    Asian by any chance?

    Look best you can do is apologise even if you aren't in the wrong. Wait for her to cool down first.
    Then take some responsibility at home to show you are willing to help out.
    Chances are that will soften your mother towards you.
    When you think you've given your mother enough time to calm down, talk to her gently and say Mum I love you. You've done so much for me. Now I'd like to learn to do things. You were right. I should have listened to you and learnt earlier. (Yes basically sucking up a bit... but it will soften her even if she won't show it)
    When you talk with her you will have to do it subtly and wisely and tell her that hitting is in no way the answer. It will make you hate her in the long run.

    Yes. Many people will not agree with this, but it's been known to work. And seriously without communicating, I don't know what else you can do.
    +1
    Only decent advice here.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hey guys, I hope your all doing well ☺
    so today my mum told me to clean the house and stuff and fill in some forms for her etc while she was a way doing some stuff since it was my day of school. so of course I said yes. when she went I took a nap since I have been exhausted the pass few days and I thought I would do it before she comes home. but i was wrong 2 hours later she knocks the door and I start to panic thinking **** im done. I thought she was just gonna shout out me and stuff which is understandable but I was wrong again. she took the mop I was holding and hit it right on my elbow and then my arm. and Im telling you it was the most painful **** ever. ( she was with her friend btw)
    so I started to cry because of the pain. she started shouting and embarrasing me and telling friendstuff like ( I havent got a daughter. she's 19 years old and can't even do a simple task. she's a waste of space.)her friend was agreeing with everything she said and even told me I should treat my mum better and then she hit me on the head and started to feel a little dizzy.

    btw this is not the first time she's done this as she has hit me quite a lot in the past. for example there is one time she told to buy something for her and I must have got the wrong item by acciendent. so she slapped across the face so hard. my dad had to come in between us and calm her down. i understand i made a mistake but surly there is no need to get physical. other than this shes a good mum and loves her children. but she hurts me a lot and even damages my self esteem sometimes by calling me fat and comparing me to other girls. please dont tell me to call social services or anything lool I'm 19.

    I just want to make my mum see that I am a human and I deserve to be treated better. ( btw she doesn't act like this in front of my dad but this time she was caught of guard) I'm so lost! any advice would be appreciated. thanks you x
    Hello anonymous. I know what you mean. I have no freedom. No life. I'm persecuted everyday because the person I live with wants to vent out their anger. My only hope is my education, the only way is up ;_;

    All my friends have social lives- I 'm not allowed out. Not allowed friends. I'm ALWAYS asked the same questions when I go home, I'm INTEROGATED daily.

    How can I escape this?
    Is there somewhere else I can live? DONT say relatives....they're all the same.
    Who else can I live with? I'm at the age where I leave school and start college.
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    You have a difficulty OP as you are living under your parents roof. If you dont pull yur wau she is oing to react the way she does. It sounds like you have zero chance of getting her to see things differently and you arent willing to speak to anyone. Your father could intervene.

    Do the chores she sets you and antagonise her. that way you cna aboid sending her over the edge. If you cant then leave and get your own place.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ANM775)
    My Parents used to smack me when I was younger If I did something wrong. Sometimes i'd get the belt or shoe too.

    One time when I around 12 my mother started hitting me as I was "misbehaving" ...She was slapping me on the back and It really hurt. I don't know what came over me but I struck her back. She seemed pretty shocked and sent me to my room. After that incident she pretty much stopped hitting me. I can only remember one time after that she actually hit me.


    you are 19 now OP,I suggest you start striking back.

    no way would I let something like that slide if I was an Adult. Even if it was my dad who could still probably 'ave me at age 18 I would have still kicked up some massive fuss, at least verbally

    by 26ish though I would have likely stuck him back, He was getting older now and I had started lifting around that age ....

    I don't live with them anymore but definitely these days, I would easily win if it came to blows

    I suggest you at least verbally stand up for yourself, consider physically too.

    personally I am against hitting your children/kids.
    There are other ways to disiplin
    hey there. I'm glad you dont have to put up with your mum's behaviour. however I dont think hitting my mum's is the solution you know. I would never in my wildest dream want to hit my mum. After all two wrongs don't make a right ☺
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    If my dad hit me now I'd headbutt the c*** :rofl: I'm not totally against a parent hitting children if they truly need the discipline, but to hit an adult just because they're your off-spring is assault.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    If my dad hit me now I'd headbutt the c*** :rofl: I'm not totally against a parent hitting children if they truly need the discipline, but to hit an adult just because they're your off-spring is assault.
    i am not totally against hitting your kids either but only if it's very neccesary and its done for the right reason. but I'm 19 now an adult lol. hopefully I find a way out of this 😟
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i am not totally against hitting your kids either but only if it's very neccesary and its done for the right reason. but I'm 19 now an adult lol. hopefully I find a way out of this 😟
    Yeah, I think if your parent hits you as an adult then clapping them back is justified I feel (I mean, I'm a guy so I'd never hit my mum obviously, but as I said I'd whack my dad one if he hit me). Just be careful though, you still live with them and they can boot you out any time they choose!
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    (Original post by TheProphetsPath)
    Ah okay; so years of bringing you up, your mum held you in her belly for 9 months - going through all that pain and often risking their life, working to provide for you and raise you up and putting you as priority before even themselves doesn't warrant respect?

    It'll surely become evident to you the struggles they have gone through and all the sacrifices they've made if you ever have children.
    Plenty of parents do all of that without ever getting physical on their children. And can you give examples of how parents often risk their lives for their kids?

    And the working to provide bit and raising bit, they have to legally do that or they'd get thrown into jail. If they've not been there for you to care for you and your feelings then no they don't deserve respect.

    And I took the liberty of correcting to bit about pregnancy for you too
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    (Original post by TheProphetsPath)
    Ah okay; so years of bringing you up, holding you in their belly for 9 months - going through all that pain and often risking their life, working to provide for you and raise you up and putting you as priority before even themselves doesn't warrant respect?

    It'll surely become evident to you the struggles they have gone through and all the sacrifices they've made if you ever have children.
    Just because a kid does something wrong it doesn't give you the right to abuse your child.
 
 
 
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