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    Sorry for the rant!
    In year 10, me and this girl (my best friend) got so so close. She didn't really have a proper friendship group at the time - I had a squad, but I was open to having her as a really close friend, we got on so well! By close I mean close in all aspects: i would do work with her, tell her all my problems, meet up with her etc. We always had each other's back: the same applied for year 11.
    Then, came sixth form. These 3 new girls joined, and she joined a friendship group aka squad with them, but I assumed still keeping me as her best friend. We still talked loads and met up and did the lot. But I got the vibe she enjoyed hanging out with that new squad loads. I.e once there was a group project, and I asked if she wanted to join me and 3 other girls and she said nah I'm going with these guys.
    Then in year 13- we went out a lot in the first month or so. Out of her new year 12 squad, 2 left which left her and this one other girl. They have seemed to have gotten extremely tight. Now, we haven't done anything together out of school. She's asked me out less, I asked to go to a meal with her three times and she said no all three times. She's gone out 1:1 with the other girl a few times to London. Also, she's replying to my messages less and less frequently, and giving really uninterested replies tbh. What do I do?
    I just feel like those 2 great years of friendship have just gone downhill. I also feel like she has changed a bit I.e talks about boys more and doesn't really reply quickly unless it's some gossip about a particular guy. But when I try to tell her my problems, I get quite late and vague replies.
    We live 2 roads away from each other near Brighton, so there is plenty for us to do?!

    Shall I still talk to her and accept she genuinely didn't like me as much as I thought? Because there are honestly too many signals to me rn.
    I feel used because when the 2 girls left at the end of year 12, she seemed keen to get close to me again (because essentially most her new squad have gone), but now she's super close to the other girl.
    The other girl I also speak to, but I get the vibe that my original bestie simply isn't interested and is far more keen to gossip and have times with her rather than me. (Rather than having a genuine equal friendship)

    I just feel **** tbh, if anyone could give me an insight into what they think it would really help.
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    (Original post by jainx22)
    Sorry for the rant!
    In year 10, me and this girl (my best friend) got so so close. She didn't really have a proper friendship group at the time - I had a squad, but I was open to having her as a really close friend, we got on so well! By close I mean close in all aspects: i would do work with her, tell her all my problems, meet up with her etc. We always had each other's back: the same applied for year 11.
    Then, came sixth form. These 3 new girls joined, and she joined a friendship group aka squad with them, but I assumed still keeping me as her best friend. We still talked loads and met up and did the lot. But I got the vibe she enjoyed hanging out with that new squad loads. I.e once there was a group project, and I asked if she wanted to join me and 3 other girls and she said nah I'm going with these guys.
    Then in year 13- we went out a lot in the first month or so. Out of her new year 12 squad, 2 left which left her and this one other girl. They have seemed to have gotten extremely tight. Now, we haven't done anything together out of school. She's asked me out less, I asked to go to a meal with her three times and she said no all three times. She's gone out 1:1 with the other girl a few times to London. Also, she's replying to my messages less and less frequently, and giving really uninterested replies tbh. What do I do?
    I just feel like those 2 great years of friendship have just gone downhill. I also feel like she has changed a bit I.e talks about boys more and doesn't really reply quickly unless it's some gossip about a particular guy. But when I try to tell her my problems, I get quite late and vague replies.
    We live 2 roads away from each other near Brighton, so there is plenty for us to do?!

    Shall I still talk to her and accept she genuinely didn't like me as much as I thought? Because there are honestly too many signals to me rn.
    I feel used because when the 2 girls left at the end of year 12, she seemed keen to get close to me again (because essentially most her new squad have gone), but now she's super close to the other girl.
    The other girl I also speak to, but I get the vibe that my original bestie simply isn't interested and is far more keen to gossip and have times with her rather than me. (Rather than having a genuine equal friendship)

    I just feel **** tbh, if anyone could give me an insight into what they think it would really help.
    I am in a very similar situation.

    I can relate to everything you say. A girl who I am friends with, for the last 3 years she was like my sisters, we went out 3 times a week, as well as calling everyday.

    She got a BF and a squad as you say. And we have drifted apart.

    not sure what I will do, but I think I will take a back seat. Let her miss me, and get along with my own life.

    just dont make any irrational decisions. Like texting her and starting a fight.
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    (Original post by freedom)
    I am in a very similar situation.

    I can relate to everything you say. A girl who I am friends with, for the last 3 years she was like my sisters, we went out 3 times a week, as well as calling everyday.

    She got a BF and a squad as you say. And we have drifted apart.

    not sure what I will do, but I think I will take a back seat. Let her miss me, and get along with my own life.

    just dont make any irrational decisions. Like texting her and starting a fight.
    It's really hard! It's like you are fed up of being treated like complete rubbish, yet you have all those memories that all come down to nothing.

    What's worse is that she's acting as though nothing has happened! And the wah I can just tell she's simply not that interested makes me upset ngl.
    Think it's just best that I do not let this affect my studies and keep other people close to me and treasure their presence. Also, I am definitely not going to start any drama but distance myself a bit back, because it's not fair I should let my mark be hurt again xx
    I have other friends who I'm also tight with, but it's the fact that we were literally sisters for 2 years, yet it is slowly going apart, and it seems to get worse by month.
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    (Original post by jainx22)
    It's really hard! It's like you are fed up of being treated like complete rubbish, yet you have all those memories that all come down to nothing.

    What's worse is that she's acting as though nothing has happened! And the wah I can just tell she's simply not that interested makes me upset ngl.
    Think it's just best that I do not let this affect my studies and keep other people close to me and treasure their presence. Also, I am definitely not going to start any drama but distance myself a bit back, because it's not fair I should let my mark be hurt again xx
    I have other friends who I'm also tight with, but it's the fact that we were literally sisters for 2 years, yet it is slowly going apart, and it seems to get worse by month.
    I know that feeling, you have so many good memories. You feel at the same time you have wasted your time which makes you upset, but at the same time you know you felt happy with them. My situation is I dont know if I want to let go. My friend she always comes back, but then she goes away again. Part of me is angry and I never want to talk to her, but another part remember all the memories we have made. its very confusing.

    I agree, you feel like you you have been used, and it makes you feel like rubbish.

    just distance yourself, study, work, gym, hobbies, walk in parks etc - just do your thing!!!!. Enjoy moments with your other friends and family, create new memories. She will be back and its your choice if you want her back.

    feel free to message me, and we can talk more. We are both in the same situation and we can help each other
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    (Original post by jainx22)
    Sorry for the rant!
    In year 10, me and this girl (my best friend) got so so close. She didn't really have a proper friendship group at the time - I had a squad, but I was open to having her as a really close friend, we got on so well! By close I mean close in all aspects: i would do work with her, tell her all my problems, meet up with her etc. We always had each other's back: the same applied for year 11.
    Then, came sixth form. These 3 new girls joined, and she joined a friendship group aka squad with them, but I assumed still keeping me as her best friend. We still talked loads and met up and did the lot. But I got the vibe she enjoyed hanging out with that new squad loads. I.e once there was a group project, and I asked if she wanted to join me and 3 other girls and she said nah I'm going with these guys.
    Then in year 13- we went out a lot in the first month or so. Out of her new year 12 squad, 2 left which left her and this one other girl. They have seemed to have gotten extremely tight. Now, we haven't done anything together out of school. She's asked me out less, I asked to go to a meal with her three times and she said no all three times. She's gone out 1:1 with the other girl a few times to London. Also, she's replying to my messages less and less frequently, and giving really uninterested replies tbh. What do I do?
    I just feel like those 2 great years of friendship have just gone downhill. I also feel like she has changed a bit I.e talks about boys more and doesn't really reply quickly unless it's some gossip about a particular guy. But when I try to tell her my problems, I get quite late and vague replies.
    We live 2 roads away from each other near Brighton, so there is plenty for us to do?!

    Shall I still talk to her and accept she genuinely didn't like me as much as I thought? Because there are honestly too many signals to me rn.
    I feel used because when the 2 girls left at the end of year 12, she seemed keen to get close to me again (because essentially most her new squad have gone), but now she's super close to the other girl.
    The other girl I also speak to, but I get the vibe that my original bestie simply isn't interested and is far more keen to gossip and have times with her rather than me. (Rather than having a genuine equal friendship)

    I just feel **** tbh, if anyone could give me an insight into what they think it would really help.
    I know how you feel. When a close friend meets new people they tend to change. I've witnessed it myself and trust me the girl I knew changed for the worse. And as for your friend I know it's hard for you to distance yourself since she's such a tight friend of yours. I know how you feel, it's like your willing to do everything for this friendship and you're putting a lot of effort into it but she's just not replicating it. I felt like this when my friend of 4 years did this to me in year 10 and when I confronted her about it things went downhill and I haven't spoken to her since then... it's been 2 years. The truth is that just because of this attachment we have with the person we aren't able to let go of them and move on. One advice I will definitely give to you is that don't confront her about it because it may end up causing an argument or disagreement between the both of you's. What I also advice you to do is distance yourself from her slowly. If she genuinely cares about this friendship and shows even a bit of interest then she'll speak to you. Why should you always be the one putting the effort in? Shouldn't it be replicated? It takes 2 to tango, a friendship isn't meant to be one sided. You can't do all the work Hun. It's hard to distance yourself but as time goes by it will get easier. You mentioned that you have other friends who you're tight with and that's a good thing because they're with you and will make it easier for you to move on. Let your friend do whatever she wants.. because from what I can see she's been influenced badly and you mentioned how she speaks about boys and gossips a lot now? This just shows the influence her new 'squad' is giving her and trust me you don't wanna go through the route of even wanting to associate yourself with people like that coz I've been through that **** myself. Okay let's look at it this way, yes she was a really good friend in the past and you both have many good memories together.. due to this you also have this bond and attachment to her and because of this attachment it's harder for you to accept the reality. Hunny open your eyes and look what's right in front of you.. she's no longer that same person who you became close friends with in year 10.. she's changed and it's not for the better.. I know it's hard for you to distance yourself from her but you need to face the reality. If your friend cares she'll come to you and if not then you let go. Don't fret about it. That's just how life is Hun. She isn't the same person who she was before. Even if you both do end up not associating yourselves with each other again it isn't your loss Hun... it's just you losing a friend who you don't even know anymore coz they've changed. She just isn't the same person. You know I also use to think to myself about my friend of 4 years.. I use to think about why she changed? And you know at times I even had hope that she'd become the same person she was before but who am I kidding? Once a person changes that's it.. they never go back to their old habits, behaviour, character etc. I hope you do understand that it's important for you to distance yourself from her.. by waiting on her and putting all the effort into this friendship e.g. texting her first, asking her to hang out etc will only end in you getting hurt. Every time you send a text you'll always 'hope' for a reply back in the next few seconds. Then in a minute.. then 5 minutes.. then 10.. 15... 30... 45.. 1hr... 2hrs... and you'll keep waiting till the next day... what are you waiting for? One simple reply? Do you really want to be the person who'll always keep waiting forever? This will only result in you getting hurt because you 'hoped' that she would reply or would even be interested. That's why Hun take a step back from her and move on. Don't text her for a few days.. don't do anything that involves you speaking to her etc.. if she notices that you haven't texted then she'll text you or try to communicate with you and if she doesn't realise anything then she's definitely not someone who you should keep waiting for. I'm not sure if you've heard of the quote "in my absence you will know my existence". Well now is the time to put that quote into action. Will she realise your existence while you're not there trying to get to her? Don't be the friend who ended up waiting on something which she never got in the end... and if you feel like you can't let go because you can't live without a piece of your friend then just think about the good memories you have with her.. those memories are a piece of her.. the girl who you once had become friends with. Look back to the pictures of you and her... at least you'll know that in that picture she's not the person she is today... anyway.. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say to you... don't keep waiting on something that won't happen.. give it a weeks time and see what happens.. if nothing happens then walk away and never look back... you have good friends who you're tight with.. concentrate on them instead of her... they're worth your time.. spend your time on the right people.. people who actually care... I regret not doing that you know.. I always spent time on friends that aren't even friends with me today.. how funny is that eh... I don't want you to do the same.. put effort into the friendships where you know you're getting exactly what you put into it. What I mean is the 'input' and 'output' is the same amount. You get the same amount you put in into the friendship.. friendship isn't one sided.. one person cant do all the work.. hence the reason why I'm saying put your effort, time, care, love into the friendships you know are worth while and lasting, the friendships where you know you're getting out exactly what you put in; the same amount. I hope I have kind of helped you.. if you need any sort of help or advice whatsoever then please do not hesitate to PM me anytime. Take care and best of luck, I hope it gets easier for you Hun X


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