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What's wrong with me, please help. Don't want to see doctor watch

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    I've just spent the past 3 hours crying in bed

    feel worthless and ugly and fat and dumb

    Feel so sick and gross

    Having intense PTSD symptoms from violence I experienced many years ago every time I try to sleep

    I go through cycles of feeling so happy and energetic and then feeling dead and empty every day

    I've already been diagnosed with low mood / depression and I'm on sertraline but everything just feels like it's getting progressively worse over the years

    I'm getting bad dissociative symptoms and I have moments where I genuinely think I'm going mad and going to do something stupid because I feel so delirious. I have these weird impulsive thoughts

    Please help; cba seeing doctor as I've already got so much more going on and it's just another hassle
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    Hi,
    it sounds as if you have a wide range of symptoms. I understand not wanting to go to the doctor, however you are going to have to go in the end if you want to be able to manage your symptoms and help yourself. In the mean time, try being kind to yourself. Go for a walk in the park, read an interesting book, watch your favourite TV programme, take a relaxing bath etc.
    In cbt (cognitive behaviour therapy) there is a technique called S.T.O.P. Whenever you have a bad thought, stop, take a breath, ask yourself what you're doing, why do you feel this way and try to do something which gets you out of your head.
    You can PM me if you want to talk.
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    It seems as though perhaps your medication isn't helping you much. I know you've said you don't want to talk to a doctor about it, but perhaps you need to try a different type of medication. (It's important that you talk to people whilst on meds, because whilst they can help, they can also make things worse.)

    Whenever you feel as though you're going to hurt yourself, you need to try and find alternative methods. MoodJuice is a really good place to look for coping mechanisms. Snapping elastic bands against your wrist, or drawing on your arms in red pen are a couple of suggestions that they have over there. And as the other person said, try and be kind to yourself. Make yourself a meal you enjoy, cuddle up in a blanket and watch a movie. Just little things that'll make you feel happier.

    Whilst you're likely busy and have a lot going on, you do need to see a doctor. In the end, that is the best method; suffering in silence will do you no good. They can help you, you just need to reach out.

    I hope things brighten up for you in the future.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've just spent the past 3 hours crying in bed

    feel worthless and ugly and fat and dumb

    Feel so sick and gross

    Having intense PTSD symptoms from violence I experienced many years ago every time I try to sleep

    I go through cycles of feeling so happy and energetic and then feeling dead and empty every day

    I've already been diagnosed with low mood / depression and I'm on sertraline but everything just feels like it's getting progressively worse over the years

    I'm getting bad dissociative symptoms and I have moments where I genuinely think I'm going mad and going to do something stupid because I feel so delirious

    Please help; cba seeing doctor as I've already got so much more going on and it's just another hassle
    I can understand you being reluctant to see a doctor, but this is the sort of stuff they are there for. It sounds like you may be relapsing or your conditions becoming worse. Mh problems are an appropriate reason to see a doctor and they tend to be pretty difficult to shake by yourself so it's a good idea to see somebody. Your doctor can advise you on different option and refer you to any services you may want to use.
    If you are really sure about not wanting to see a doctor I suggest you still look into therapy or counselling. I believe the NHS provides therapy through a service called Time To Talk and you don't need a doctors referral to go there. You could also go back to any service that may have helped you before.

    This isn't the sort of thing you should be going through alone and there are people out there to help you so I suggest you reach out to them. Btw, you can call Samaritans or 111, go to pretty much any medical place including your doctors surgery or A&E or call 999 if you are desperate. You can also check out sites like mind.org or sane.org for info and advice on various mh problems.

    I'm sorry you're going through this and really hope you feel better soon.
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    You need to make time to see your doc. It might seem like a hassle...but it's less hassle than how you're feeling.

    Recovery from trauma take a lot of hard work and a willingness to sit with the uncomfortable feelings rather than self harm or otherwise block them from being processed. You can't passively recover. If you're that worried about your mental state you feel like you have no way of controlling yourself, you need to see the doctor.
 
 
 
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