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****ing lost it today and possibly broke his mobile phone. Is my anger justified? watch

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    So I made really a really awesome dinner for us today. I really put a lot of effort into it, believe me, I didn't even feel like getting out of bed in the morning, as usual. But I still did. And? And he (my boyfriend) was more interested in his stupid phone, browsing Facebook and ****, while eating. Don't get me wrong I do that a lot too but not when we are having a (kind of) special meal together!
    This wasn't the first time either, he's been doing this for the past 2 weeks or so, I've asked him to stop before, too, a number of times. Today I just ****ing lost it, took it away from him, went to the bathroom and threw the damn thing in the toilet. He just called me crazy, no surprise really and I'm here alone now, rotting in our bedroom, feeling a bit guilty, but still secretly hoping that his mobile did not survive.
    So? Justified? Complete overreaction? Idk anymore
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    I can see why his actions pissed you off.
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    That was overly dramatic and you seem to be uncontrollably emotional.
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    Overreaction
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    ... went to the bathroom and threw the damn thing in the toilet
    you are living my fantasies!
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    (Original post by EC)
    That was overly dramatic and you seem to be uncontrollably emotional.
    What would you do then? I already said that I've asked him to ****ing stop doing that before, many times, and it didn't help.
    • Very Important Poster
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    You know you could have just kept it for the meal rather than causing damage to his belongings? Huge overreaction...
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    No its not justified at all, sure he sounds like a lame boyfriend but you're the idiot here for knowing that he is lame and still going out of your way to impress him. You say he'd looked at his phone during meals before so what the hell made you think he'd put it down because you went to the effort to make him a nice meal?

    Try talking to him next time or just stop trying!
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    If you said that you do it aswell, then why did you get angry at him for doing the same?
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    I wouldn't say you over reacted but if you were pissed off, you were pissed off, right? Especially if you have told him a number of times. I would've just taken his phone but not chucked it down the toilet :lol: but yh I get why you were angry
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    You need help, please speak to a Doctor.

    And apologise to your boyfriend, if he's not already left; he will soon.
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    (Original post by cambio wechsel)
    you are living my fantasies!
    Just do it then...
    (Original post by UWS)
    You know you could have just kept it for the meal rather than causing damage to his belongings? Huge overreaction...
    Idk, this seems like something you'd punish a kid with. He's an adult. I don't think he'd get the idea.
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    What would you do then? I already said that I've asked him to ****ing stop doing that before, many times, and it didn't help.
    Were you up front and asked why was he ignoring you or were you simply ordering him around?

    Tell him how you feel and demand respect in such a way that doesn't make you look insane.Try to see things from his perspective as well.
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    Just do it then...


    Idk, this seems like something you'd punish a kid with. He's an adult. I don't think he'd get the idea.
    And throwing his phone in the toilet is something a child would do when they have a tantrum.
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    So I made really a really awesome dinner for us today. I really put a lot of effort into it, believe me, I didn't even feel like getting out of bed in the morning, as usual. But I still did. And? And he (my boyfriend) was more interested in his stupid phone, browsing Facebook and ****, while eating. Don't get me wrong I do that a lot too but not when we are having a (kind of) special meal together!
    This wasn't the first time either, he's been doing this for the past 2 weeks or so, I've asked him to stop before, too, a number of times. Today I just ****ing lost it, took it away from him, went to the bathroom and threw the damn thing in the toilet. He just called me crazy, no surprise really and I'm here alone now, rotting in our bedroom, feeling a bit guilty, but still secretly hoping that his mobile did not survive.
    So? Justified? Complete overreaction? Idk anymore
    Your recent posts do make me worry a little for you, Ciel. You seem to have a lot of issues and stuff going on in your life at the moment. Do you have any friends you could confide in regarding your current problems.
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    (Original post by EC)
    Were you up front and asked why was he ignoring you or were you simply ordering him around?

    Tell him how you feel and demand respect in such a way that doesn't make you look insane.Try to see things from his perspective as well.
    In the past - of course I have. Today, I've only asked him once. Politely, mind you. - hey, can't you just put it away for 10 mins?' 'yeah in a minute'
    ........
    .......
    'stare'
    'stare'
    still waiting.
    5 mins.
    I'm not going to lie, then I ****ing saw red.
    • Study Helper
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    I completely understand why you did that.

    When you have taken the time and care to prepare a meal and make it special, his actions blatantly show he is taking you for granted and whatever is on his phone is more important than you are.

    There are reasons why people are taught good manners and he does not seem to have any.

    You have every right to be offended and annoyed but displays of frustration and outbursts of anger won't change his behaviour.

    You need to communicate assertively that his ill mannered actions make you feel unappreciated, that you are not a substitute for his mother and it's up to him to change.

    Good luck.
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    You always seem to make dinner for him and he always seems to spoil it in some way
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    I disagree with everybody that's saying it's an over reaction.

    I was dating a girl who would constantly be on her phone every time we'd go out for dinner. I'd think of interesting and exciting places to take her, and she'd just sit on her phone messaging or reading something. Initially, I was polite about it and didn't say anything. Then, I was like "ahh watcha doing there.." and she'd be like "sorry, just quickly messaging...", then I decided to voice my concerns, "you're always on your phone when we're out together, and not just a quick look, you spend at least half the date on your phone". She'd make some crappy excuse. After she kept doing it, I decided to be a bit more sassy so I'd say something like "Sorry, am I boring you? Is facebook really that much more interesting". She kept doing it. I tried different tactics like sitting there in absolute silence trying to make it as awkward as possible so she puts the god damn phone down! Irony is, is that she was the one who kept asking to see me?

    If I was in a relationship with somebody and they kept doing this, I'd lose my ****. I'd dash their phone out of the window or something.
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    hope the phone had a case on it
 
 
 
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