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****ing lost it today and possibly broke his mobile phone. Is my anger justified? Watch

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    (Original post by UWS)
    And throwing his phone in the toilet is something a child would do when they have a tantrum.
    Well, I agree with you, it kind of was. But he was acting like a kid, too. If he wants me to disappear from his life, he should just tell me. I just can't stand it when he ignores me. Hell, even arguing is better than having someone ignore you like that.

    (Original post by Reality Check)
    Your recent posts do make me worry a little for you, Ciel. You seem to have a lot of issues and stuff going on in your life at the moment. Do you have any friends you could confide in regarding your current problems.
    Thanks for your concern but I'm good. Just having a bad day. I don't feel like talking to real life people about this.
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    Right to be annoyed? Yes.
    Not right to destroy his phone. You kind of lost the moral high ground and the response was a bit retarded.
    It got you noticed for the wrong reasons. If its the same bloke then its not exactly the healthiest of relationships and you use/ tolerate each other. I doubt it will change. You say he has loads of money anyway. If you wnat to make things better then you need to talk about things. I doubt you will. it is what it is.
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    In the past - of course I have. Today, I've only asked him once. Politely, mind you. - hey, can't you just put it away for 10 mins?' 'yeah in a minute'
    ........
    .......
    'stare'
    'stare'
    still waiting.
    5 mins.
    I'm not going to lie, then I ****ing saw red.
    Listen to me, this kind of behavior shouldn't be encouraged and I'm talking about both of you.

    You need some time apart, none of you is mature enough to avoid conflicts and you can't seem to be putting up with each other's crap.

    You're also unable to resolve the conflict in a way that benefits you. The whole situation was childish, it would have been better if you simply screamed at him or just gave him the cold shoulder and ignored him rather than humiliating yourself like that.
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    (Original post by uberteknik)
    I completely understand why you did that.

    When you have taken the time and care to prepare a meal and make it special, his actions blatantly show he is taking you for granted and whatever is on his phone is more important than you are.

    There are reasons why people are taught good manners and he does not seem to have any.

    You have every right to be offended and annoyed but displays of frustration and outbursts of anger won't change his behaviour.

    You need to communicate assertively that his ill mannered actions make you feel unappreciated, that you are not a substitute for his mother and it's up to him to change.

    Good luck.
    Exactly. That was was I thought, and it really pissed me off. He's actually shockingly well mannered. Just not when it comes to me, heh...
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    (Original post by EC)
    The whole situation was childish, it would have been better if you simply screamed at him or just gave him the cold shoulder and ignored him rather than humiliating yourself like that.
    I'm not convinced that being judged by strangers is what Ciel really needs right now.
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    (Original post by hezzlington)
    I disagree with everybody that's saying it's an over reaction.

    I was dating a girl who would constantly be on her phone every time we'd go out for dinner. I'd think of interesting and exciting places to take her, and she'd just sit on her phone messaging or reading something. Initially, I was polite about it and didn't say anything. Then, I was like "ahh watcha doing there.." and she'd be like "sorry, just quickly messaging...", then I decided to voice my concerns, "you're always on your phone when we're out together, and not just a quick look, you spend at least half the date on your phone". She'd make some crappy excuse. After she kept doing it, I decided to be a bit more sassy so I'd say something like "Sorry, am I boring you? Is facebook really that much more interesting". She kept doing it. I tried different tactics like sitting there in absolute silence trying to make it as awkward as possible so she puts the god damn phone down! Irony is, is that she was the one who kept asking to see me?

    If I was in a relationship with somebody and they kept doing this, I'd lose my ****. I'd dash their phone out of the window or something.
    If you had an iPhone and someone broke it would you not be furious though? Breaking their phone is an overreaction
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    I'm not convinced that being judged by strangers is what Ciel really needs right now.
    well that's what tends to happen if you post on a public forum about a personal issue with the title 'is my anger justified'

    :dontknow:
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    If you had an iPhone and someone broke it would you not be furious though? Breaking their phone is an overreaction
    If somebody broke it for absolutely no reason, then well yeah obviously..

    If I consistently annoyed somebody over and over and over and over and over again doing the same thing despite being told not to, then I'd sort of understand why they'd do it.
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    (Original post by hezzlington)
    I disagree with everybody that's saying it's an over reaction.

    I was dating a girl who would constantly be on her phone every time we'd go out for dinner. I'd think of interesting and exciting places to take her, and she'd just sit on her phone messaging or reading something. Initially, I was polite about it and didn't say anything. Then, I was like "ahh watcha doing there.." and she'd be like "sorry, just quickly messaging...", then I decided to voice my concerns, "you're always on your phone when we're out together, and not just a quick look, you spend at least half the date on your phone". She'd make some crappy excuse. After she kept doing it, I decided to be a bit more sassy so I'd say something like "Sorry, am I boring you? Is facebook really that much more interesting". She kept doing it. I tried different tactics like sitting there in absolute silence trying to make it as awkward as possible so she puts the god damn phone down! Irony is, is that she was the one who kept asking to see me?

    If I was in a relationship with somebody and they kept doing this, I'd lose my ****. I'd dash their phone out of the window or something.
    But you were in a relationship with someone that kept doing it and still didn't lose your temper and destroyed her phone.

    It's unacceptable to do it and this is not the right way to improve the relationship, it rather encourages childish behaviour and disagreements which end up with destroying each other's belongings. How is that ok?
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    (Original post by hezzlington)
    well that's what tends to happen if you post on a public forum about a personal issue with the title 'is my anger justified'
    It it is what tends to happen, yes but maybe helping would be preferable to judging.
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    (Original post by hezzlington)
    If somebody broke it for absolutely no reason, then well yeah obviously..

    If I consistently annoyed somebody over and over and over and over and over again doing the same thing despite being told not to, then I'd sort of understand why they'd do it.
    Browsing your phone whilst you're with someone isn't really that big of a deal though. The OP even admitted that he did it too so he's being hypocritical at least by doing this. There are a lot worse habits that his partner could have (e.g: smoking, drinking and becoming violent) and smashing up his partners personal property is OTT
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    You are emotionally unstable. I would get tf out of there if I was him.
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    I'm not convinced that being judged by strangers is what Ciel really needs right now.
    I'm not judging, I'm actually trying to help Ciel. It's not okay to overreact and I see that the OP is being overanxious. Hard as it may seem and difficult to do, but it can save them many ugly moments..
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    (Original post by EC)
    But you were in a relationship with someone that kept doing it and still didn't lose your temper and destroyed her phone.

    It's unacceptable to do it and this is not the right way to improve the relationship, it rather encourages childish behaviour and disagreements which end up with destroying each other's belongings. How is that ok?
    It's not okay. But in relationships, especially ones we are particularly invested in, we sometimes do silly and childish things when we're really angry.

    It's like, if we were in a nightclub and I kept grabbing your ass over and over again, even though you've repeatedly told me to stop, then you just turn around and throw your drink in my face or slap me; your behaviour is totally wrong and unacceptable as hitting people is never okay.

    But was your response justified?

    Well....maybe so.
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    It it is what tends to happen, yes but maybe helping would be preferable to judging.
    I'm never judging, I'm only doing my best to help, but you're entitled to your opinion. Didn't want to seem judgmental whatsoever.
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    (Original post by EC)
    I'm never judging, I'm only doing my best to help, but you're entitled to your opinion. Didn't want to seem judgmental whatsoever.
    That's great then but I think it's difficult to see calling her childish, uncontrollably emotional and telling her she's humiliated herself as anything other than judging. I'm sure you do want to help though
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    That's great then but I think it's difficult to see calling something childish and telling her she's humiliated herself as anything other than judging. I'm sure you do want to help though
    Ciel is a dude if I'm not mistaken
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Ciel is a dude if I'm not mistaken

    Ciel - bloke or bird?
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    (Original post by EC)
    I'm not judging, I'm actually trying to help Ciel. It's not okay to overreact and I see that the OP is being overanxious. Hard as it may seem and difficult to do, but it can save them many ugly moments..
    Maybe OP built up all their anger and let it out today. It was a overreaction though.
    I do the same thing sometimes.
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    You always seem to make dinner for him and he always seems to spoil it in some way
    Ugh this makes me look like some kind of dumb excuse of a house-wif....ugh husband doesn't it... You're probably talking about the time when I binned his dinner.

    (Original post by hezzlington)
    I disagree with everybody that's saying it's an over reaction.

    I was dating a girl who would constantly be on her phone every time we'd go out for dinner. I'd think of interesting and exciting places to take her, and she'd just sit on her phone messaging or reading something. Initially, I was polite about it and didn't say anything. Then, I was like "ahh watcha doing there.." and she'd be like "sorry, just quickly messaging...", then I decided to voice my concerns, "you're always on your phone when we're out together, and not just a quick look, you spend at least half the date on your phone". She'd make some crappy excuse. After she kept doing it, I decided to be a bit more sassy so I'd say something like "Sorry, am I boring you? Is facebook really that much more interesting". She kept doing it. I tried different tactics like sitting there in absolute silence trying to make it as awkward as possible so she puts the god damn phone down! Irony is, is that she was the one who kept asking to see me?

    If I was in a relationship with somebody and they kept doing this, I'd lose my ****. I'd dash their phone out of the window or something.
    Thank you for this post, I knew that at least some people WOULD understand lol. It's easy for people to say that I overreacted but still, when someone does this to you..it really gets on your nerves doesn't it.
    (Original post by Angry Bird)
    hope the phone had a case on it
    Yeah, it did.

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Right to be annoyed? Yes.
    Not right to destroy his phone. You kind of lost the moral high ground and the response was a bit retarded.
    It got you noticed for the wrong reasons. If its the same bloke then its not exactly the healthiest of relationships and you use/ tolerate each other. I doubt it will change. You say he has loads of money anyway. If you wnat to make things better then you need to talk about things. I doubt you will. it is what it is.
    What am I supposed to say to him, though? I've already asked him, a few weeks ago, whether he's still attracted to me, if he wants me to move out and so on. He reassured me that he still wants to be with me and all that crap.
    (Original post by EC)
    Listen to me, this kind of behavior shouldn't be encouraged and I'm talking about both of you.

    You need some time apart, none of you is mature enough to avoid conflicts and you can't seem to be putting up with each other's crap.

    You're also unable to resolve the conflict in a way that benefits you. The whole situation was childish, it would have been better if you simply screamed at him or just gave him the cold shoulder and ignored him rather than humiliating yourself like that.
    Didn't seem to work before.

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    If you had an iPhone and someone broke it would you not be furious though? Breaking their phone is an overreaction
    I would be, of course. But I know that he crossed the line, too.
 
 
 
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