Live with partner in private rented accommodation with our dog, currently studying law at uni and i only really have one friend on the course but shes hardly ever in so I'm usually just sat alone, ~I'm half way through 1st year and i just feel so isolated and alone to the point where I'm looking for apprenticeships and full time jobs because im just so fed up and sick. I find it difficult to make friends because I'm always the odd one out - freakishly tall etc. I'm extremely shy because I've always been bullied and picked on and I just don't have a clue what to so, spoke to my boyfriend about it but he doesn't see an issue in how difficult it is for me to talk to people, but hes always had a large group of friends and is the really outgoing type. I'm not part of any societies etc. because hey presto I'm to shy and awkward for that, I'm just largely at a loss with what to do
Turn on thread page Beta
alone at uni watch
- Thread Starter
- 06-02-2017 10:56
- 06-02-2017 11:40
You have to try and put yourself out there. It is very hard if you're shy but you should remember a few things - firstly, this is university not school and no one is going to pick on you or be mean to you because you're tall, people at uni are generally relaxed and don't care about too much, secondly you have some situations now where it's easy to connect with people without having to speak a lot if you feel you don't know what to say... you can do things like say 'can I sit with you guys today' in a lecture, you'll be sat quietly after that but you've still made contact, when you feel more comfortable you can say 'what are you guys doing at lunch?/anyone heading towards the library?' - especially in first year people are desparate to make friends and will generally try new things. You should also pick a society where there is an activity so you don't have to talk loads but can still join in.
- 06-02-2017 11:48
As a painfully shy person myself, when it comes to new situations, I do get where you are coming from! I agree with doodle_333 though. You need to make the first steps and reach out to people in your lecture.
It may sound a little silly but you could always sit down beside someone who is by themselves and ask to borrow a pen before a lecture. Then you can ask them what they think of the lecturer, or the course. Talk about things you have in common, which shouldn't be that hard because you're in the same lecture hall.
You can also offer to exchange notes! People often miss out on things that others catch, so it would help towards your degree as well! With this one though, you have to watch out. People might start taking advantage of you and using you, so theat they don't have to go to the lecture themselves.
Definitely join a society! Something you're interested in, or want to try! It's the best way of getting to know people and you'll make friends for life!
I'm sure you'll do fine! It's only half way through your first year and there will be other people in the same situation as you. Seek them out and befriend them. They will love you forever.
- Thread Starter
- 14-02-2017 12:16
Thanks for getting back to me. Since reading your two posts I have tried to throw myself in the deep end a bit instead of treading lightly. I spoke to a girl in my class who was alone too since falling out with someone else and she's been quite nice.
Unfortunately all of the societies I'm aware of at my uni have a cost, that frankly I just can't afford, and there isn't any real advertising for it either so I don't know of ones that might not cost - also travelling to and from them when I'm not in (my car has a mileage limit! so its something I'll leave for now).
I'm trying my best and really making a go of this, I don't want to leave uni after I've tried so long to be here.
Again thank you, to both of you, for your replies. It made me feel much better getting it off my chest and talking to someone (even if virtually). Wish you both the best