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Learn from my mistake: Moving in with girlfriend

I've gotten myself into a really difficult situation, and there's not really any way out of it. I feel I should share my experience and hope that other people might perhaps learn from my mistakes.

First year at uni was great. I moved into student halls and started a relationship with a girl I lived a couple of rooms down from at the start of the year. I was so happy at the time, and things were going well. We agreed to move into a student house for second year with a few friends, as we were already living together.

Things turned bad during the summer. It became long-distance for four months, and there was little communication. When we moved into the new house, things were ok between us, but eventually became cold and things didn't work out. We broke up, and straight afterwards, her friend (and mine) started sleeping in the same bed with her. She said he needed the support because he's depressed, although a week ago, I found out they are now dating.

What bothers me is that I've been suffering with depression for years, but my ex never showed me support when we were together. While we weren't talking much in the summer, I asked her why and she said "if you weren't so negative, maybe I'd want to talk to you." but the reason I was negative when I would talk to her was because of the lack of communication and the problems we were having. After a year of trying my best for her, she never showed me the same support and I assumed it was because she wasn't capable. But after a week with my friend, she is determined to do everything she can to help him. So why couldn't she do it for me? I feel like I wasted all my time and effort for someone who clearly wasn't trying.

Anyway, my point is, I was certain that things were going to go well. I loved her, and was very excited to have my own house and live with a partner for the first time, but it's lead to me being stuck living with an ex and her new boyfriend. I can't get out of this situation for another seven months. This has been something that has been too much for me to handle on top of other things that have gone wrong recently. I wish I had really reconsidered signing a contract and moving in with somebody I loved. I thought it was worth the risk, but I didn't realise how bad things could turn out.

Reply 1

AnimationStudent

One important thing that I've learnt is that I've found great strength in friendship. My friends (some of whom are my other housemates) have helped me through this, and I don't know where I'd be without them.