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Help me move on from my sister. Watch

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    #1

    So my sister and I have lived totally separate lives. I'm 19, she's 21.
    We have the same dad but I've never met him and he walked out on her pretty much. We found each other via social media October of last year, got really close and spent time together.

    Then I apparently ****ed up. I caught feelings for her friend, and he hurt me - she was aware of these feelings and stood up for me. Then she just turned on me, called me a whore for liking her friend and was just generally really horrible towards me as "I should have known it would upset her"... even though she said she was fine with it and just didn't want me to get hurt. Nothing happened with this guy and me might I add.

    Since then, we've spoken like twice in a couple of months, always me initiating it, and I know I'm just done trying.

    I have clinical depression, the past year a lot has happened and she knows about everything, yet she doesn't make any effort and still found it acceptable to treat me like ****. She told me she struggles with depression during the argument and so I made the effort to text her despite what happened and check she was doing okay. She's my sister, after all.

    I'm not going to lie, it hurts. A lot - she added me on facebook a couple of days ago and seeing her posting and stuff isn't exactly fun, when she can't take two minutes to see how I'm doing. I'm just really emotional about it, so decided to just let it out on a student forum. For anyone that reads this and has any advice, thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I caught feelings for her friend, and he hurt me - she was aware of these feelings and stood up for me. Then she just turned on me
    1. Firstly, either she had a change of heart or the friend said something. I'm not saying you should investigate what it is because that may dig up more dirt and make things messier, but if that friend is a bit of a sneak there's a chance something was said. Choosing between a friend you've probably known a long time and a sibling you've known for lesser time isn't always an obvious choice.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    "I should have known it would upset her"
    2. I will not deny it, this is usually common knowledge. Even if someone says they are 'okay' with something like that there's a huge chance they aren't. I know she gave you the 'go ahead' but I would completely dismiss that. From the way she name-called you and turned on you, I'd say that it really did hurt her and she probably didn't think you'd like like him.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Since then, we've spoken like twice in a couple of months, always me initiating
    3. To me, this sounds like she isn't entirely over the thing with her friend and is still upset and hurt over the ordeal... are you sure there isn't a chance she liked him? It would explain a lot.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she doesn't make any effort
    4. Again, like point 3, she may not be over everything yet.

    What to do in this situation? Wait it out and tread very carefully. The friend may have something that you do not know about, she may like the friend herself or she might simply want some space.

    TL;DR - potential snakey friend, potential feelings for friend on her part, probably isn't over it.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ShannyMorrison)
    1. Firstly, either she had a change of heart or the friend said something. I'm not saying you should investigate what it is because that may dig up more dirt and make things messier, but if that friend is a bit of a sneak there's a chance something was said. Choosing between a friend you've probably known a long time and a sibling you've known for lesser time isn't always an obvious choice.


    2. I will not deny it, this is usually common knowledge. Even if someone says they are 'okay' with something like that there's a huge chance they aren't. I know she gave you the 'go ahead' but I would completely dismiss that. From the way she name-called you and turned on you, I'd say that it really did hurt her and she probably didn't think you'd like like him.


    3. To me, this sounds like she isn't entirely over the thing with her friend and is still upset and hurt over the ordeal... are you sure there isn't a chance she liked him? It would explain a lot.


    4. Again, like point 3, she may not be over everything yet.

    What to do in this situation? Wait it out and tread very carefully. The friend may have something that you do not know about, she may like the friend herself or she might simply want some space.

    TL;DR - potential snakey friend, potential feelings for friend on her part, probably isn't over it.
    She's in a long term relationship so no, there were no romantic feelings.
    She also cut him off and hasn't spoken to him since, she sent me all messages between them two and "hates" him for what he did to me.
    Honestly there is nothing I can think of that makes me understand why she acted the way she did, I guess I shall never know. Thank you for your response
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Id also like to add, she knew about me liking him and was totally fine with it to the point she encouraged it. Of course, I cut him off as soon as she said she was hurt by it and haven't spoken to him since
 
 
 
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