Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm studying abroad in Spain until July, and I feel like my boyfriend won't make the effort to come visit me.
    The total cost for a weekend here would be around £250, and even cheaper if it was in an air b&b.
    He says he "can't afford it" but he has £4000 in the bank and earns around £400 a month part time. He's a student but lives at home.
    I said I would pay half but he won't accept it.

    It's really upsetting me, I feel like if he really loved and missed me that he would come no matter what. I see other people having people come to visit but not my own boyfriend.

    Am I being unreasonable?
    • TSR Support Team
    Online

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm studying abroad in Spain until July, and I feel like my boyfriend won't make the effort to come visit me.
    The total cost for a weekend here would be around £250, and even cheaper if it was in an air b&b.
    He says he "can't afford it" but he has £4000 in the bank and earns around £400 a month part time. He's a student but lives at home.
    I said I would pay half but he won't accept it.

    It's really upsetting me, I feel like if he really loved and missed me that he would come no matter what. I see other people having people come to visit but not my own boyfriend.

    Am I being unreasonable?
    I wouldn't say so if you are offering to pay half for him to come to Spain, sure it is a long way but I am sure he could make a bit of time.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm studying abroad in Spain until July, and I feel like my boyfriend won't make the effort to come visit me.
    The total cost for a weekend here would be around £250, and even cheaper if it was in an air b&b.
    He says he "can't afford it" but he has £4000 in the bank and earns around £400 a month part time. He's a student but lives at home.
    I said I would pay half but he won't accept it.

    It's really upsetting me, I feel like if he really loved and missed me that he would come no matter what. I see other people having people come to visit but not my own boyfriend.

    Am I being unreasonable?
    250 without flights I assume? Flights alone will cost an extra 250
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm studying abroad in Spain until July, and I feel like my boyfriend won't make the effort to come visit me.
    The total cost for a weekend here would be around £250, and even cheaper if it was in an air b&b.
    He says he "can't afford it" but he has £4000 in the bank and earns around £400 a month part time. He's a student but lives at home.
    I said I would pay half but he won't accept it.

    It's really upsetting me, I feel like if he really loved and missed me that he would come no matter what. I see other people having people come to visit but not my own boyfriend.

    Am I being unreasonable?
    Break up with him. Be free to live your life. Speaking from experience, young, long-distance relationships rarely work out, especially if you aren't visiting. Go and have fun! Go and be free! You deserve better than someone who doesn't put in the effort
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Well, I priced it up and the flight would be with hand luggage only and Ryanair so would not be overly expensive.
    Hotels are also quite cheap where I am in Spain too.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by AB25)
    Break up with him. Be free to live your life. Speaking from experience, young, long-distance relationships rarely work out, especially if you aren't visiting. Go and have fun! Go and be free! You deserve better than someone who doesn't put in the effort
    I would if it was anybody else but I have been with him for 5 years this month. I know he doesn't work full time but he does have savings and a part time income soo
    • TSR Support Team
    Online

    19
    If he wasn't earning a lot then it would be a huge ask of him.
    • TSR Support Team
    Online

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would if it was anybody else but I have been with him for 5 years this month. I know he doesn't work full time but he does have savings and a part time income soo
    How old are you both by the way if you don't mind me asking?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    We are both 20, I am at uni and he is doing a college course but working part time.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm studying abroad in Spain until July, and I feel like my boyfriend won't make the effort to come visit me.
    The total cost for a weekend here would be around £250, and even cheaper if it was in an air b&b.
    He says he "can't afford it" but he has £4000 in the bank and earns around £400 a month part time. He's a student but lives at home.
    I said I would pay half but he won't accept it.

    It's really upsetting me, I feel like if he really loved and missed me that he would come no matter what. I see other people having people come to visit but not my own boyfriend.

    Am I being unreasonable?
    I don't get why he can't come and see you.
    You are even paying half. Me and my friends spend more on nights out when we all get back in town, because we don't see each other that much
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Why would he have to stay in an air bnb- why cant he stay with you??

    Honestly I think its time you move on. It sounds to me that he is moving on with his life without you tbh.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    He can't stay with me as I live in an all girls flat, so it wouldn't be fair on them with regards to sharing a bathroom etc.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I feel like his issue is he wouldn't want to fly to spain if he can't even stay with you... Like i'd have an issue with that tbh

    Also it could be that he doesn't have an in date passport or could be saving up for something expensive...
    I'd ask him his exact reasons why he doesn't want to come out but i'm guessing the fact he'll be shoved in an air bnb/hotel probably isn't helping the situation..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    If he did stay in a hotel, I would stay with him there. He has an in date passport too, I think he is being tight with money honestly.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    My friend's boyfriend has booked to visit her in a few weeks and it just upsets me that mine won't.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Well what's the reason you can't come home and visit him?

    I think another point to note is you're on study abroad right? So he's gonna fly to spain to spend the majority of the time on his own while you're in classes?
    I still think your best bet is ask him exactly why he won't visit
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 7, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.