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Parents won't let me pick mixed sex accommodation for uni. Watch

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    That's a stupid reason for wanting to live in mixed accommodation. What's wrong with living with just girls? It will be awkward living with guys as well especially if you don't know them. Anything could happen. Your parents just want you to be safe, they care for you. If you want freedom and fun, you can still have it while living with the same sex and it will be safer.


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    You're an adult. Do as you please. The sooner you do, the sooner she should (in theory) respect your individuality all as a person, a woman, and as her daughter.
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    (Original post by samzy21)
    That's a stupid reason for wanting to live in mixed accommodation. What's wrong with living with just girls? It will be awkward living with guys as well especially if you don't know them. Anything could happen. Your parents just want you to be safe, they care for you. If you want freedom and fun, you can still have it while living with the same sex and it will be safer.


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    I've said before earlier on in the thread I get on much better with guys that girls.

    Also, when you say "anything" could happen, you can say the same thing about single sex accommodation.
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    (Original post by Angry Bird)
    interesting. You are definitely south asian?
    Yas.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've said before earlier on in the thread I get on much better with guys that girls.

    Also, when you say "anything" could happen, you can say the same thing about single sex accommodation.
    Look we've all given you logical alternatives and solutions but from the sounds of it unless we go 'oh poor you, your parents deserve to die how terrible your life is so hard' you're going to pout and stamp your foot. You wanted to be treated like an adult? Act like one and welcome to the real world where you DONT get exactly what you want. It may not be fair but you have to make a choice; doing exactly what little madam wants OR making a compromise and not throwing away your relationship with your parents. We, you know the people who have actually experienced university, have told you that mixed accom isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that actually something like this isn't worth breaking off all ties with your mother for, but it's your choice to listen or not
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    I agree that this is the point you need to start lying a bit to your parents - the arguments are not going to get you anywhere. I'd say you applied for single sex but there wasn't any left so you have a mixed sex flat. Don't talk about drinking and partying and make it sound like you're going to be calm until you get there and then do whatever you want.
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    (Original post by samzy21)
    That's a stupid reason for wanting to live in mixed accommodation. What's wrong with living with just girls? It will be awkward living with guys as well especially if you don't know them. Anything could happen. Your parents just want you to be safe, they care for you. If you want freedom and fun, you can still have it while living with the same sex and it will be safer.


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    Pretty sensible reason. My experience of all girl flats was also that they tend to be catty and inter-flat issues become a much bigger deal than in mixed sex flats, girls are also less clean in my experience. The atmosphere in mixed flats is nicer. It's no more awkward living with guys you don't know than girls you don't know and nothing bad will happen - if anything you're probably a little safer with guys around.
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    (Original post by greenfeather)
    Look we've all given you logical alternatives and solutions but from the sounds of it unless we go 'oh poor you, your parents deserve to die how terrible your life is so hard' you're going to pout and stamp your foot. You wanted to be treated like an adult? Act like one and welcome to the real world where you DONT get exactly what you want. It may not be fair but you have to make a choice; doing exactly what little madam wants OR making a compromise and not throwing away your relationship with your parents. We, you know the people who have actually experienced university, have told you that mixed accom isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that actually something like this isn't worth breaking off all ties with your mother for, but it's your choice to listen or not
    I suggest, before acting all superior, you read what I've said. I'm breaking off ties with my mother for a variety of other reasons (including, if you really must know, a childhood of physical abuse).

    Want to be treated seriously? Get your facts right.

    Have a nice day.
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    Right guys so I spoke with my uni today and explained my situation and they said if I put down single sex accommodation on my application, I could always call them up very soon after and change it.
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    Pretty sensible reason. My experience of all girl flats was also that they tend to be catty and inter-flat issues become a much bigger deal than in mixed sex flats, girls are also less clean in my experience. The atmosphere in mixed flats is nicer. It's no more awkward living with guys you don't know than girls you don't know and nothing bad will happen - if anything you're probably a little safer with guys around.
    I lived in a flat with girls during a residential trip I did. Didn't like it at all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I suggest, before acting all superior, you read what I've said. I'm breaking off ties with my mother for a variety of other reasons (including, if you really must know, a childhood of physical abuse).

    Want to be treated seriously? Get your facts right.

    Have a nice day.
    If you are serious about this, then you can look into getting finance on an estranged parent basis. You would have had to have left home and broken off ties though.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If you are serious about this, then you can look into getting finance on an estranged parent basis. You would have had to have left home and broken off ties though.
    I've done my research on this and I've spoken to charities that work with estranged students. And I remember when I called my firm they said that if I needed any help financially, they had hardship bursaries.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've done my research on this and I've spoken to charities that work with estranged students. And I remember when I called my firm they said that if I needed any help financially, they had hardship bursaries.
    You have a firm already? In any even I posted on my first response as long as you have though about the implications then just be prepared for the practical consequences when you leave and you should be fine. If when you go to Uni, then you should let the relevant people know and cut yourself off from parents and all family etc.
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    If I were you, I would be firm, and forthcoming. Not telling your parents you were applying to university probably wasn't a great idea. I stand up for your right to do whatever the hell you like, no doubt, but realistically they may be easier to handle if they are aware of the choices you make (even if they don't like those choices, at least they won't think you're a liar or misleading too).

    This is for matters of practicality and ease of communication, mind.

    I would say 'I'm applying for mixed halls because that is what I want, because I have confidence in myself that I can behave in whatever way I deem appropriate irrespective of those around me, because you have raised me to be strong and confident and capable of making my own decisions'.
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    OP don't be stupid, listen to your parents, they are the only ones who are going to be with you in A&E at 3am, not Molly, Paul or Emily. I suggest until you are financially independent, you listen to your parents. They obviously care enough about you. Molly, Paul and Emily either care about your body or your money.

    We all know why you want mixed accommodation, you want to flirt/ potentially have sex with the other gender. Who am I to stop you, go ahead as you please. But remember when **** hits the fan, Molly, Paul and Emily will have pissed off a long time ago.
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    (Original post by fat_pam)
    OP don't be stupid, listen to your parents, they are the only ones who are going to be with you in A&E at 3am, not Molly, Paul or Emily. I suggest until you are financially independent, you listen to your parents. They obviously care enough about you. Molly, Paul and Emily either care about your body or your money.

    We all know why you want mixed accommodation, you want to flirt/ potentially have sex with the other gender. Who am I to stop you, go ahead as you please. But remember when **** hits the fan, Molly, Paul and Emily will have pissed off a long time ago.
    Have you read anything I've said in this thread? Do you know anything about how my parents raised me? No. I get on better with guys than girls. If they really did "care" about me, they would've helped me with my mental health problems and my mother wouldn't have been violent on me when I was younger. Not all parents are good parents. And so I suggest you stop being so judgemental and deal with yourself and the friendship trust issues you seem to have. My best friend has helped me in more ways than you know.

    (Original post by Infraspecies)
    If I were you, I would be firm, and forthcoming. Not telling your parents you were applying to university probably wasn't a great idea. I stand up for your right to do whatever the hell you like, no doubt, but realistically they may be easier to handle if they are aware of the choices you make (even if they don't like those choices, at least they won't think you're a liar or misleading too).

    This is for matters of practicality and ease of communication, mind.

    I would say 'I'm applying for mixed halls because that is what I want, because I have confidence in myself that I can behave in whatever way I deem appropriate irrespective of those around me, because you have raised me to be strong and confident and capable of making my own decisions'.
    The thing, if I had told them I had applied to uni, they would've put pressure on me to firm a uni in my hometown so I could stay at home and commute.That was mainly why I didn't tell them because they wouldn't have let me pick my uni choices.

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You have a firm already? In any even I posted on my first response as long as you have though about the implications then just be prepared for the practical consequences when you leave and you should be fine. If when you go to Uni, then you should let the relevant people know and cut yourself off from parents and all family etc.
    Yeah I firmed and insured as soon as I got all 5s. I have a circle of friends I've told about this yeah. Thanks a bunch for your advice. You've been one of the helpful ones on here
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Have you read anything I've said in this thread? Do you know anything about how my parents raised me? No. I get on better with guys than girls. If they really did "care" about me, they would've helped me with my mental health problems and my mother wouldn't have been violent on me when I was younger. Not all parents are good parents. And so I suggest you stop being so judgemental and deal with yourself and the friendship trust issues you seem to have. My best friend has helped me in more ways than you know.
    Mental health problems are hard, they are best solved by talking to someone who is a professional, I don't know what your parents could have done.

    Violent? If being slapped, then no, that's not violent. If your dad punched you in the face, then yes, fair point.

    I still want to see if your best friend turns up in A&E at 3 am.

    OP, in all seriousness, have you experienced the real world outside. Do you know how much your council tax is? or your phone bill? what an overdraft is? how to save and invest? I think you are being immature here, making a mountain out of a mole hill.

    If you really want to, walk out of your home and don't come back, what's stopping you. You will soon realise how 4 walls, a roof and a warm meal mean so much. Yes, I've been camping and central heating feels amazing once you sleep rough outside.
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    Sorry i'm being harsh OP or not agreeing with you, your parents want the best for you. You have no financial means to support yourself, so I don't see any point in arguing with your parents. Your parents will still pay your credit card bills even if you run away, which Molly, Paul and Emily wouldn't even imagine.
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    (Original post by fat_pam)
    Mental health problems are hard, they are best solved by talking to someone who is a professional, I don't know what your parents could have done.

    Violent? If being slapped, then no, that's not violent. If your dad punched you in the face, then yes, fair point.

    I still want to see if your best friend turns up in A&E at 3 am.

    OP, in all seriousness, have you experienced the real world outside. Do you know how much your council tax is? or your phone bill? what an overdraft is? how to save and invest? I think you are being immature here, making a mountain out of a mole hill.

    If you really want to, walk out of your home and don't come back, what's stopping you. You will soon realise how 4 walls, a roof and a warm meal mean so much. Yes, I've been camping and central heating feels amazing once you sleep rough outside.
    Oh please stop trying to justify what they did when they found out I had mental health problems. They were more worried about what the "community" would think of them.

    Wasn't punching actually. It was having my head smashed against the table multiple times when I was younger. Does that sound better?

    Believe it or not I can learn all that at university!

    And it's not like I'll be homeless at university. I'll be living in accommodation.

    You're being deluded for thinking all parents are good parents. Point? They need to earn my respect and so far, they haven't.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh please stop trying to justify what they did when they found out I had mental health problems. They were more worried about what the "community" would think of them.

    Wasn't punching actually. It was having my head smashed against the table multiple times when I was younger. Does that sound better?

    Believe it or not I can learn all that at university!

    And it's not like I'll be homeless at university. I'll be living in accommodation.

    You're being deluded for thinking all parents are good parents. Point? They need to earn my respect and so far, they haven't.
    OP, I understand, but 3 years at university go fast. Then what. Do you find a place to live and pay rent? What if you can't find a job straight away? Do you go to the council? If you carry on like this, you will end up on a council estate (lucky in a way, most 3rd world countries you would be sleeping rough on the street).

    What is your ethnicity? I'm asian myself, so I know how twisted some asian parents can be.
 
 
 
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