Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now, she's like a bestfriend to me. At the start we got along amazing, had cute dates, everything was going perfect. Thenwe had some mad arguments and went through a pretty rough patch. We've sorted those differences out though, but recently we've started having silly little spats over stupid things- and now I'm just not feeling the relationship :/

    I know the sensible thing to do is split up, but I'm worried that if I do then I'll be losing my best mate, and that I may not be able to find another

    Any suggestions?
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now, she's like a bestfriend to me. At the start we got along amazing, had cute dates, everything was going perfect. Thenwe had some mad arguments and went through a pretty rough patch. We've sorted those differences out though, but recently we've started having silly little spats over stupid things- and now I'm just not feeling the relationship :/

    I know the sensible thing to do is split up, but I'm worried that if I do then I'll be losing my best mate, and that I may not be able to find another

    Any suggestions?
    As ever, the answer is talk about it.
    Relationships wont be all sunshine and roses, sometimes it will take a bit of effort to make work.
    When you start arguing, think about her side of the argument and her point of view. If you are wrong admit it.
    Breaking up is the cheap way out in this case imo.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by an_atheist)
    As ever, the answer is talk about it.
    Relationships wont be all sunshine and roses, sometimes it will take a bit of effort to make work.
    When you start arguing, think about her side of the argument and her point of view. If you are wrong admit it.
    Breaking up is the cheap way out in this case imo.

    Okay, how would you go about talking about it? Like how to approach it without getting her upset
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I feel like I'm losing my attraction for her physically, although as I've put she is like a bestfriend to me personality wise
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    I understand the pain and frustration here. I've been in your situation before.
    Talk it out. Maybe ask her friends. Have a night out and see how it goes because if you break up she might not respect you anymore and then the friendship will be wasted.
    Best advice i can give you is never ever date a best friend because then you will never get them back because you would argue. Although, they know you like no-one else.

    What do you feel like is best??
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    What made you lose your attraction for her?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    If it's possible to fix it having a good conversation, do just that.
    Personally, I wasn't into my "boyfriend" that much (first relationship, so got too nervous and said yes without thinking) and I think he was quite serious. I felt I was being unfair to him because I didn't feel the same. I wanted to put a stop to it. Obviously, I didn't say I am not into you anymore but yeah we broke up (I said I have "too much going on" etc). We still talk, sometimes. It took a lot of courage because i hate hurting people but I feel much more relieved now.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Joanna_Plater)
    I understand the pain and frustration here. I've been in your situation before.
    Talk it out. Maybe ask her friends. Have a night out and see how it goes because if you break up she might not respect you anymore and then the friendship will be wasted.
    Best advice i can give you is never ever date a best friend because then you will never get them back because you would argue. Although, they know you like no-one else.

    What do you feel like is best??
    Its a horrible situation

    We went for a night out but I didn't really enjoy it as were both so drunk haha.

    Yeah that's good advice, before we started dating we didn't really know each other, but since the first date we've just grown into a couple who are also now best friends, and I feel I can't leave her as I'll be breaking her heart and mine as well.

    I really don't know, I mean I can't talk to her by saying I'm not physically attracted to her anymore, because that won't go down well haha
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Paris100)
    What made you lose your attraction for her?

    Posted from TSR Mobile

    I don't know really, I've just found myself wanting to be single and looking at other girls in a way a guy happy in his relationship shouldn't
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by k_popper)
    If it's possible to fix it having a good conversation, do just that.
    Personally, I wasn't into my "boyfriend" that much (first relationship, so got too nervous and said yes without thinking) and I think he was quite serious. I felt I was being unfair to him because I didn't feel the same. I wanted to put a stop to it. Obviously, I didn't say I am not into you anymore but yeah we broke up (I said I have "too much going on" etc). We still talk, sometimes. It took a lot of courage because i hate hurting people but I feel much more relieved now.
    Yeah I'm seeing her tomorrow so hopefully we can talk it through.
    Ah I see, yeah I feel like that is similar to me, although I feel too attached personality wise to let her go
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its a horrible situation

    We went for a night out but I didn't really enjoy it as were both so drunk haha.

    Yeah that's good advice, before we started dating we didn't really know each other, but since the first date we've just grown into a couple who are also now best friends, and I feel I can't leave her as I'll be breaking her heart and mine as well.

    I really don't know, I mean I can't talk to her by saying I'm not physically attracted to her anymore, because that won't go down well haha
    Okay firstly, try and have a night out where you cannot get drunk xD

    Do you feel like your more of a close friend to her than a partner? ( i cant say boy/girlfriend as i dont know your gender :L :/ ) Do you think she loves you a lot? like a lot more than you altogether?

    If you really feel like that, then you need to sit down with her and tell her the truth because this can go two ways:
    1) The truth will come out without you realizing > She finds out that youve been lying for the entire remain of the relationship
    2) She will respect what you are saying and if she loves you how much she says then she will accept how you feel. > Thats the way to know if she really loves you.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I'm seeing her tomorrow so hopefully we can talk it through.
    Ah I see, yeah I feel like that is similar to me, although I feel too attached personality wise to let her go
    bear in mind that physical attractiveness will fade as anyone ages but inner beauty persists. If you love her for who she is, it's worth fighting for.
    My ex was really quite annoying sometimes so don't compare our situation haha
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know really, I've just found myself wanting to be single and looking at other girls in a way a guy happy in his relationship shouldn't
    Talk to each other. Think about whether you could be happy and what it takes from her and she can do the same. Less arguing etc. Give it a try.


    If the benefits of staying are less than being single then split. Sometimes things don't work and only fair to tell her. It might be the same for her. Most relationships will be destined to end, so don't feel too glum.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 8, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.