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    Unreasonably stressed all of a sudden. Didn't even eat dinner or even a proper lunch due to borderline panicking. My mind has set this stupid unrealistic goal of getting a 90% average in my first year exams, what for I don't know, probably because every since I started uni my life has been devoid of purpose/goals, given that achieving a first is utterly trivial.

    So now I'm panicking over an exam that's supposed to be easy and that I 'need' close to 100% in, just because I did a paper and struggled a little bit with a couple of questions and was generally unsure in places that my answer style was correct. I'm becoming unhealthily neurotic. If I do badly tomorrow I'll probably end up depressed again. I mean, what kind of ridiculous reaction is that.

    I need to abandon this idiotic 'goal', but then I go back to having zero purpose in life, which I simply could not stand. It's a lose-lose situation.
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    (Original post by Meany Pie)
    :creep:
    hypocrite
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    (Original post by CoolCavy)
    hypocrite
    You started it :smug:
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    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
    Worthless c*nt. Why am I even alive. I have never been succesful at anything outside of academics. And even those may go astray now.
    Same but don't lose hope. At least, you have been successful in something, let that be something you can hold onto. Idk man.
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    (Original post by IrrationalRoot)
    Unreasonably stressed all of a sudden. Didn't even eat dinner or even a proper lunch due to borderline panicking. My mind has set this stupid unrealistic goal of getting a 90% average in my first year exams, what for I don't know, probably because every since I started uni my life has been devoid of purpose/goals, given that achieving a first is utterly trivial.

    So now I'm panicking over an exam that's supposed to be easy and that I 'need' close to 100% in, just because I did a paper and struggled a little bit with a couple of questions and was generally unsure in places that my answer style was correct. I'm becoming unhealthily neurotic. If I do badly tomorrow I'll probably end up depressed again. I mean, what kind of ridiculous reaction is that.

    I need to abandon this idiotic 'goal', but then I go back to having zero purpose in life, which I simply could not stand. It's a lose-lose situation.
    There is no purpose in life.

    In my opinion, the best chance you have is to embrace life's meaninglessness. Try your best in the exams, of course, but accept that none of it matters. Ultimately, we are given a small number of years to live. The best way to spend them? Experience as much interesting crap as you can. Success means nothing. University means nothing. Family means nothing. Do as well as you can in endeavours that are important to you, and see where life takes you. And if you screw up? It's not important. You just keep going, and don't look back.

    Edit: I would greatly advertise watching the show Bojack Horseman (maybe after exams haha)...it has had a profound influence on my conception of happiness and meaning in life. Fortune, success, fame, anything material you can name...they don't engender happiness.
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    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
    There is no purpose in life.

    In my opinion, the best chance you have is to embrace life's meaninglessness. Try your best in the exams, of course, but accept that none of it matters. Ultimately, we are given a small number of years to live. The best way to spend them? Experience as much interesting crap as you can. Success means nothing. University means nothing. Family means nothing. Do as well as you can in endeavours that are important to you, and see where life takes you. And if you screw up? It's not important. You just keep going, and don't look back.
    That's actually true. Isn't there anything that you look forward to or something that interests you?
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    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
    There is no purpose in life.

    In my opinion, the best chance you have is to embrace life's meaninglessness. Try your best in the exams, of course, but accept that none of it matters. Ultimately, we are given a small number of years to live. The best way to spend them? Experience as much interesting crap as you can. Success means nothing. University means nothing. Family means nothing. Do as well as you can in endeavours that are important to you, and see where life takes you. And if you screw up? It's not important. You just keep going, and don't look back.

    Edit: I would greatly advertise watching the show Bojack Horseman (maybe after exams haha)...it has had a profound influence on my conception of happiness and meaning in life. Fortune, success, fame, anything material you can name...they don't engender happiness.
    Wise words. If I screw up, f*ck it. Not gonna be easy though, but I may as well take off all the self-imposed pressure since there's no point as you said. Next year I'll put in the effort year-round to deserve a good mark, maybe then I'll get one.

    Lol I watched a few clips of that on yt after you first mentioned it. Seems interesting, might try it after exams.
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    (Original post by S2M)
    That's actually true. Isn't there anything that you look forward to or something that interests you?
    I'd like to do a PhD. But I have no idea what original crap I would do. Otherwise, I'd like to write. A novel, a Tv show, whatever. Just want to write for something. Apart from that, as to a purpose I have no interest. Sex is fun, so there's that. Were I to really off myself, an escort would be the order of the day. I am too unattractive in body and "soul" to have a real relationship again. The ideal would be to come into a large amount of money and be allowed to pursue pointless hedonism.
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    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
    I'd like to do a PhD. But I have no idea what original crap I would do. Otherwise, I'd like to write. A novel, a Tv show, whatever. Just want to write for something. Apart from that, as to a purpose I have no interest. Sex is fun, so there's that. Were I to really off myself, an escort would be the order of the day. I am too unattractive in body and "soul" to have a real relationship again. The ideal would be to come into a large amount of money and be allowed to pursue pointless hedonism.
    You do have some things that interest you. Pursue them in your spare time and why can't you be in a relationship again? If it's happened once, it can happen again.
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    Weak
    My own fault ofc
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    (Original post by starfab)
    clear pms
    Hope this quoting works.
    Hope you're okay :hugs: all of you.
    Likewise, clear PMs XD thought you would have realised by now but no man :facepalm:
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    (Original post by My Moon <3)
    -
    Lmao
    Oops sorry. I didn't realise argh, ikk. Made a bit of space lol
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    Migraine. It's defo a migraine. Feel sick oh goody joy.
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    I want to sleep soooo bad. *yawns*
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    My worrying has got progressively worse these last couple days and now I feel sick
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    Feeling demotivated. Messed up my exam. I am apparently retarded enough to not know how to prove the statement 'A or not A' even after 10 mins of thought, which could've been spent correcting my worst mistake which was in translations (this was a logic exam) where I completely forgot to use a certain one of the symbols given in every sentence. Funnily enough I miraculously managed to do a whole proof I was stuck on for ages in literally the last half a minute of the exam, which apparently 'no one could do' (or so I heard from the post-exam chatter). But still a bad performance.

    So that's my first year mark out the window.
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    Very stressed and lonely. All my friends say I've changed during exams and it makes me feel like they don't like me anymore, and they lie to me ofte
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    in pain
    my back always hurts and has been for about a month now and my whole pelvis just feels like it's burning and like my legs dont fit into their sockets properly
    tbh i feel like im just disintegrating lately
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    Done nothing productive this whole goddamn year but I just went outside the depressing world full of depressing people so I can go greggs and get myself a caramel shortbread. Was a sucesss. I asked my sisters to buy it for me and they forgot it in the shop and someone took it so I had to buy another one! Hate human contact. Hate strangers. But I lurrrrve me sum caramel shortbread. Yumadocious.
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    Blesaed and stressed
 
 
 
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