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    (Original post by paracosm)
    welcome to part five! :bunny::hugs:

    Same as always, how're you feeling right now? :h

    the old thread can be found here if you want to look back on it. :moon:

    please do remember that content must be within our community guidelines to keep everyone safe :grouphugs:
    im feeling sexy and freeeeeeeeeeeee like glitters raining on me
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    (Original post by milldog)
    im feeling sexy and freeeeeeeeeeeee like glitters raining on me
    So, like a domino?


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      (Original post by FireFreezer77)
      I'll try to, me thinks an early night is in order.

      ill reply to your vm later btw :hugs:

      hope you're well

      Yep, and think it would be useful to have a early night.

      And yea no worries :hugs:
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      Meh. End of exams I have nothing to do. I don't really have good enough friendships to propose going out somewhere. I am gutted I won't be getting a "good" end of year mark now, even though I don't really deserve it. I am pretty certain of a 1st but meh. Looking at 75ish I guess and could be a lot worse if I get a marker who can't read my writing or made some mistakes I didn't notice. I dunno, I felt like I worked hard but it's probably just because I condensed it so late. I hope so, because the only excuse I can make for this poor showing is that I could have worked earlier and better so that next year I can do that and boss it. But maybe I'm just not that smart. I just hate how I am 100% sure to go from like 6th in a cohort of several hundred in first year to probably more like 50th or something. And ut could really crash down a lot harder than that, on tne whole I"m probs being optimistic witg my exams assuming I got every mark I possibly could have really
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      I Just saw the hero himself, Mr Jeremy Corbyn, feels good
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      (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
      Meh. End of exams I have nothing to do. I don't really have good enough friendships to propose going out somewhere. I am gutted I won't be getting a "good" end of year mark now, even though I don't really deserve it. I am pretty certain of a 1st but meh. Looking at 75ish I guess and could be a lot worse if I get a marker who can't read my writing or made some mistakes I didn't notice. I dunno, I felt like I worked hard but it's probably just because I condensed it so late. I hope so, because the only excuse I can make for this poor showing is that I could have worked earlier and better so that next year I can do that and boss it. But maybe I'm just not that smart. I just hate how I am 100% sure to go from like 6th in a cohort of several hundred in first year to probably more like 50th or something. And ut could really crash down a lot harder than that, on tne whole I"m probs being optimistic witg my exams assuming I got every mark I possibly could have really
      Same, except I'm insane so I'm properly starting Analysis III today (lol).

      As expected I was restricted to just 80% of the Discrete Maths paper but for that 80% it went well. Too easy though, hardly any scaling will be applied so I'll get some sh*t mark in the 70s if I'm lucky.
      I won't be getting a good end of year mark but I don't deserve it either what with my depression and apathy throughout most of the year.
      I'm also being over optimistic with my exams assuming I got all the marks I could've, you're literally describing me here lol.

      I wanted to be 1st in the year with like 90+% for the bants but obviously I'll get a terrible mark and will be in some embarrassing place now so there's no point checking. With hard work year round (and lecture attendance) I don't think it would've been that hard to make top 3 or whatever since the general standard here is abysmal. But that doesn't mean there can't be a handful of very strong students in this year group, so idk how hard being top would've been. I'm amazed such people find the motivation to work hard in such a sh*t course tbh.
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      (Original post by IrrationalRoot)
      Same, except I'm insane so I'm properly starting Analysis III today (lol).

      As expected I was restricted to just 80% of the Discrete Maths paper but for that 80% it went well. Too easy though, hardly any scaling will be applied so I'll get some sh*t mark in the 70s if I'm lucky.
      I won't be getting a good end of year mark but I don't deserve it either what with my depression and apathy throughout most of the year.
      I'm also being over optimistic with my exams assuming I got all the marks I could've, you're literally describing me here lol.

      I wanted to be 1st in the year with like 90+% for the bants but obviously I'll get a terrible mark and will be in some embarrassing place now so there's no point checking. With hard work year round (and lecture attendance) I don't think it would've been that hard to make top 3 or whatever since the general standard here is abysmal. But that doesn't mean there can't be a handful of very strong students in this year group, so idk how hard being top would've been. I'm amazed such people find the motivation to work hard in such a sh*t course tbh.
      I just don't want to think about maths until I get my marks. All my mistakes are too raw.

      I was pretty much restricted to 2/3 of Logic as I never got to grips with the stuff after reading week. I got by a little bit just on some of the random crap I remembered and my maths knowledge but I think, being cynical, I could be looking at a 2:1, just because there's only three questions and one of them I did so badly. Other two were nice although I couldn't do the only nontrivial part out of them. My highest would probs be about 75, assuming a justification I neglected in Q1 wasn't needed (well I didn't neglect it, I just blagged it with an incorrect argument, it would have been fairly easy to prove properly using the previous part, dunno why I didn't, seemed long-winded I guess.). So that's demolished my potential mark. I made an excel table and my most cynical and hopeful feasible (of course, it could be outside on the lower scale, depending on markers, my number theory exam amongst others it was basically illegible, really worrying) estimates go to 73 and 86, so it's a pretty wide range lol.

      Yeah I dunno how people can work so hard and well. I mean I have a friend, did decent last year, around 80. This year, he cut out basically all social stuff and just worked flat out, like all the time. He seems to have smashed nearly everything. I went to pool last night lol when I barely knew a huge chunk of the course. I'm somewhat smart about things unlike some who behave similarly; I'm not going to end up failing modules from it, but it's still going to massively dent my marks. I almost feel like I'm scared of my own expectations so I semi-sabotage myself sometimes, doing what I know isn't optimal so that I never have to see what my true potential is, because what if I do, and it's just not all that great..



      I remember my tutor said that only mental stuff (a series of events led to him finding out about my pretty severe depression in term 2) could hold me back i.e. it wouldn't be my fault if I didn't do very well. I dunno if I should agree with that or not. I dunno if my lackluster effort is a choice or something that just sort of has happened to me. I guess I have to take some responsibility.
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      (Original post by NotNotBatman)
      I Just saw the hero himself, Mr Jeremy Corbyn, feels good
      When did you see him?
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      (Original post by Galen's Statue)
      When did you see him?
      About five minutes before I posted. About 4.30?
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      (Original post by NotNotBatman)
      About five minutes before I posted. About 4.30?
      Lucky!
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      (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
      ...
      I just want to have something to do tbh, even if it is working unreasonably hard on some boring pointless stuff. But then again this stuff doesn't look half as bad as the first year stuff. And yeah as I've mentioned before I'm just gonna try and not look at my terrible marks for fear of butchering my remaining confidence/motivation.

      Not taking Logic 2, only took all this non-maths crap this year cuz I had to.
      75 sounds good from what you've described. And you only need a decent first this year, right (tbf I'm not entirely sure what you're aiming for/would be happy with)?
      Yeah I saw that table, that range seems decent though. At least you're not like some people who are gonna get kicked of the 4 year course lol.

      I know my potential is complete sh*t lol, I still have stupidly high expectations for myself. My expectations don't sabotage me academically but definitely mentally. At least now I can relax knowing I've failed and not achieved even a tenth of what I achieved in each of the last 4 years. Wasted every academic (and non-academic tbh) achievement I ever had lol. I'm curious to know why your expectations are too high though. I would expect that you underestimate your own ability, I mean you seem to put in less effort than me (that's saying something) but you got 86% avg in first year and are still doing decently in your exams this year. I left it too late, but I put in a pretty large amount of work in those 2 months.

      Ha, I don't even know my tutor. Stop going to tutorials a few months ago and never will again (unless forced to ofc). What a waste of time. Won't go to supervisions either. Or lectures... or anything...
      Idk if this depression and stuff makes it 'not your fault', it's tough to say. I mean at least to some extent it isn't.
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      (Original post by IrrationalRoot)
      I just want to have something to do tbh, even if it is working unreasonably hard on some boring pointless stuff. But then again this stuff doesn't look half as bad as the first year stuff. And yeah as I've mentioned before I'm just gonna try and not look at my terrible marks for fear of butchering my remaining confidence/motivation.

      Not taking Logic 2, only took all this non-maths crap this year cuz I had to.
      75 sounds good from what you've described. And you only need a decent first this year, right (tbf I'm not entirely sure what you're aiming for/would be happy with)?
      Yeah I saw that table, that range seems decent though. At least you're not like some people who are gonna get kicked of the 4 year course lol.

      I know my potential is complete sh*t lol, I still have stupidly high expectations for myself. My expectations don't sabotage me academically but definitely mentally. At least now I can relax knowing I've failed and not achieved even a tenth of what I achieved in each of the last 4 years. Wasted every academic (and non-academic tbh) achievement I ever had lol. I'm curious to know why your expectations are too high though. I would expect that you underestimate your own ability, I mean you seem to put in less effort than me (that's saying something) but you got 86% avg in first year and are still doing decently in your exams this year. I left it too late, but I put in a pretty large amount of work in those 2 months.

      Ha, I don't even know my tutor. Stop going to tutorials a few months ago and never will again (unless forced to ofc). What a waste of time. Won't go to supervisions either. Or lectures... or anything...
      Idk if this depression and stuff makes it 'not your fault', it's tough to say. I mean at least to some extent it isn't.
      Tbf I've immediately starting doing some of the STEP 1 questions haha. It's more interesting than most university questions...I guess in a few days I'll probably have "healed" and end up looking up 3rd year modules and stuff.

      Yeah I wouldn't really recommend it. Although tbf A and B are so lovely and C, well, just gotta revise it. It's definitely a potential 100 for those even a little bit less lazy than me. Had I just stayed home last night and went over that stuff I could be looking at like 90.
      Yeah, well I mean I don't really "need" anything as such. It's 20%. I can always make things up later. I would be very happy with 80+ for sure. Basically, I just want an average drop. Most people drop about 7-8% 1st year to 2nd year apparently. If I drop more than 10%, which is very feasible, I'll be a bit gutted.

      Well, I struggle to believe I have any talent in mathematics, because I got two Bronzes on the SMC, I don't think I could do a single BMO1 question (not that I ever bought in to it lmao, just looked at the papers), I would get demolished by STEP II and STEP III, I completely botched my Cambridge interview and nobody ever really noticed me as being anything remotely exceptional in maths until A-level which has nothing to do with real maths anyway. My talents did lie in writing. Everyone said it. But now I've pretty much squandered that; I can't really write for **** anymore, owing to a lack of practice. Not that I really try, to be fair. My ideal job would probably be writing for a TV show tbh. I'd love to do something like that. I'm much more of an artistic sort than anything. Had I the technical skill to back it up, music would be another avenue. But again, something I squandered. Grade 6 guitar after like 18 months. Flash forward 6 years later and I'm not much better lol. And I'm too old to git gud. So there seem very limited avenues for potential. I guess one thing to note is that Warwick Maths is so much more about work than "ability". So probably if I'd revised since February and been to all the assignments, well, I could be pushing 90 tbh. Or at least, I think so. I don't do such things partly because I'm lazy and perhaps partly because, well, what if I'm wrong, and it does need that extra something that I don't have. I dunno, I'm rambling. Had a ton of red bull last night, two hours of sleep, and am now getting drunk by myself because my friends/acquaintances who did finish today are not good enough friends to suggest anything to me or invite me to anything, if they even are doing anything themselves.

      (I just read this paragraph and it reads like Perks of Being a Wallflower lmao; so staccato. I guess maths makes you a bit staccato)

      I only talked to my tutor because wellbeing services got in touch with him lol. Also second year essay necessitates it..speaking of which, no idea how that went.
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      (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
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      Ikr, I miss the days of STEP, doing interesting maths problems nonstop every day lol. Now maths is just a boring drag. I'll probably look at some of those Qs when they put the paper up.

      Oh I see. Well at least you have hope then. I'm getting an appalling mark unless something not short of a miracle happens and my marks get scaled into oblivion haha.
      With regards to Logic 2, even being a potential 100 doesn't entice me (as it would've this year) since for some reason I care less about my second year mark. Yet I'm putting in 100x more effort. Strange.

      Yeah but did you prepare for the SMC? Talent means nothing unless it is fuelled with hard work. My friend got Golds in basically all his maths challenges from Year 7 to 11, and I got bronzes and 'nones' from Year 7 to 11. So I was always amazed at his immense talent for maths problems. But this was when neither of us bothered to prepare at all for it. Well in Year 11 summer (I've probably mentioned this many times) I went proper maths crazy, considering I decided I was applying to Cambridge. Read around the subject, did tonnes of extra maths stuff, books, everything. In particular, I practised question every single SMC paper. Not to do well in the SMC, but just to get better at maths. That year I got a Gold, qualified for Kangaroo (I know it's not BMO1 but I made silly mistakes so didn't qualify) and even got Merit in that (beating my friend). So before you judge your talent, I'd suggest putting all your effort in and seeing what happens. As you've said Warwick is all about 'work' anyway, so you may as well try putting in the work year round.
      And being that talented in so many other areas and then even being good enough to do maths to this standard is a talent in itself.

      I botched my interview/pre-interview test as well, most probably because it's something you can't prepare for. Though my interviewer was a right douche. Gave up on me before the interview started.

      At least you have 'friends/acquaintances'. I don't even know anyone anymore. I'm dead to the outside world. To put things into perspective, I probably talk to you more often than anyone rn. Don't even like my parents. Though I'm more of an introvert anyway so I've managed to survive.
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      (Original post by IrrationalRoot)
      Ikr, I miss the days of STEP, doing interesting maths problems nonstop every day lol. Now maths is just a boring drag. I'll probably look at some of those Qs when they put the paper up.

      Oh I see. Well at least you have hope then. I'm getting an appalling mark unless something not short of a miracle happens and my marks get scaled into oblivion haha.
      With regards to Logic 2, even being a potential 100 doesn't entice me (as it would've this year) since for some reason I care less about my second year mark. Yet I'm putting in 100x more effort. Strange.

      Yeah but did you prepare for the SMC? Talent means nothing unless it is fuelled with hard work. My friend got Golds in basically all his maths challenges from Year 7 to 11, and I got bronzes and 'nones' from Year 7 to 11. So I was always amazed at his immense talent for maths problems. But this was when neither of us bothered to prepare at all for it. Well in Year 11 summer (I've probably mentioned this many times) I went proper maths crazy, considering I decided I was applying to Cambridge. Read around the subject, did tonnes of extra maths stuff, books, everything. In particular, I practised question every single SMC paper. Not to do well in the SMC, but just to get better at maths. That year I got a Gold, qualified for Kangaroo (I know it's not BMO1 but I made silly mistakes so didn't qualify) and even got Merit in that (beating my friend). So before you judge your talent, I'd suggest putting all your effort in and seeing what happens. As you've said Warwick is all about 'work' anyway, so you may as well try putting in the work year round.
      And being that talented in so many other areas and then even being good enough to do maths to this standard is a talent in itself.

      I botched my interview/pre-interview test as well, most probably because it's something you can't prepare for. Though my interviewer was a right douche. Gave up on me before the interview started.

      At least you have 'friends/acquaintances'. I don't even know anyone anymore. I'm dead to the outside world. To put things into perspective, I probably talk to you more often than anyone rn. Don't even like my parents. Though I'm more of an introvert anyway so I've managed to survive.
      Yeah. But for me it's often hard to appreciate maths I'm doing in order to pass an exam. I didn't enjoy STEP when I actually did it, not really, well, I enjoyed the exam I guess, but not the hours of prep. I feel like Intro to Number Theory for instance is a super interesting module but the fact that I had to revise it made it super tedious.

      Probs not appalling. You'll probably come like top 5 now you say this lol. You can get away with some bad marks. I had a 60 for christ's sake and I'm pretty sure I was in the top 10 based on other people's places. Well second year I do think some modules are genuinely challenging. There's a lot of easy marks still, but I've just generally been more challenged by the exams, preparation or not.

      I actually looked at some old papers for the second one, if not much. I was quite psyched. Then I just got stressed out. I suppose that was an on the day thing. Our school didn't do the intermediate ones (Except for like geniuses. I've told you this before I think but we had a young IMO team member in our school. Quite weird with it being a bad school. He carried us through the team UKMT final to a decent placing, obvs, where I performed mediocre I guess. Answered some questions but they weren't hard, Idk why I was selected over a guy in my year who got over 100 in SMC, I mean he got like a C in AS Maths but that's not representative..).

      Yeah I am somewhat lucky to be more multifaceted than most. Then again a huge number of good mathematicians are creative in other ways. The skills aren't as distinct as people think I reckon. The Simpsons is a great example, you don't tend to think of mathematicians as good writers but a bunch of them made large contributions to one of the most respected, intelligent and just generally hilarious shows ever..and you can look at our own university, Keith Ball is an excellent writer for instance. Quite like Samir as well.

      My second set of interviewers I remember there was a really friendly Australian guy. The other three (two in each set, each set corresponding to one of the two questions) were miserable *******s on the whole, to be honest. The latter one he said "see you soon" I remember distinctly. It's a figure of speech but I think, apart from the gaffe I've mentioned many times about the linear treatment of parabolic motion, he thought I'd done alright, I just did so horribly in the other one and not well enough in that one to counteract it.

      I mean we do talk a fair amount lol. There is something rather peculiarly extra lonely about knowing people for a while but not really knowing them and feeling like you can't even suggest a simple activity with them. It's like you've failed the test to be likeable. I've been a right primadonna at pool in spite of poor skill, so I can definitely understand being a bit disliked there, I get so unnecessarily angry haha. I know other guys who behave similarly but they do it because they're really good and have high standards correspondingly, I don't deserve high standards.. I'm pretty lucky to have very supportive parents, but it's pretty hard for your parents not to f**k you up in some way, and I'd say certainly mine have probably made me more needing of attention and praise than the average Joe. But they've never really put any pressure on me to succeed so I'm not sure where the perfectionist tendencies I have often exhibited come from.
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      Angry + sad + lost :sigh:
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      (Original post by LunaCat)
      Angry + sad + lost :sigh:
      Hope you're okay :hugs:
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      (Original post by LunaCat)
      Angry + sad + lost :sigh:
      :hugs:
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      wow the realisation that after 4 years (cos of GCSE as well) i am not required to know anything about German history anymore :eek3: don't get me wrong it was interesting the first time lmao but the novelty wore off quickly. Weird cos technically i can tear this timeline down from my wall but im oddly attached to it :rofl: it just seems a bit of a waste really, all that paper and revision and stress and highlighters and typing and crying and now it's never needed again :lol: i mean idk what i got on the exam obviously so it could still all go to **** but here's hoping not :crossedf: in fact after Friday i will never have to do an exam again given that my university course is 100% coursework
      anyway need to focus on the last exam, least that clash is over that was so painful physically with my pelvis being in it's current state but ibuprofen and will power got me through it 👌
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      (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
      ...
      That's surprising, I found the hours of prep very fun, it was just such a nice change from drab A Level stuff and was really my kind of style unlike the MAT which I flopped and olympiads etc. But I did start very early when there was basically no pressure, so that might have had something to do with it.

      Lol I wish. I mean I have had borderline miracles before, was totally convinced I got 112 in STEP but got far higher than that getting almost as close to SSS as is physically possible (alas only 1S1). So it's possible. But this time I'm actually being over optimistic about stuff I only just might've got right, which is very unusual and not a good sign. What did you get a 60 in if I may ask? Considering you had a 60, a 75, etc. you must have absolutely aced some modules to skyrocket the average up to 86! Maybe there is hope for me lol.

      Jeez, an IMO team member at your school, that's pretty awesome. We got rekt in the team maths challenge, a certain two schools however always smashed that team challenge so I might have some idea who you're talking about lol.

      I have noticed Samir likes to show off his fabulous writing skills lol.

      Man I would've loved to have two interviews. Instead of a test which I f**k up and then 20 mins of some douche just rubbing it in, not bothering to ask me a single new question. Tbf I also embarrassed myself with a rather simple mechanics question lol. To the point that the guy has to illustrate stuff by waving his pens in the air and spelling out the answer (not literally spelling it out though lol). Needless to say I did no applied Qs in STEP...

      I dunno, most people I just don't click with, so it doesn't really bother me when I 'know' someone but never makes friends with them. Only very few people exist who I can actually become friends with.
      Lol I can imagine you raging in pool XD.
      Yeah idk why I'm so perfectionist with undeservedly high standards either. Though it seems that with reduced 'social success' one strives more for success in other areas.
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      (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
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      I love this inevitable steady increase in volume of text from both sides lol.

      Anyway, slightly random, but which book(s) do you think is best for self-studying the vector analysis module? He's recommended so many books and I cbb to go through all of them. I'm going to use the (incomplete) notes too, but thought hey I may as well supplement them if I'm going revise thoroughly.
     
     
     
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