Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I'm constantly testing him ... why ?! Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Anon because I don't want him to see .

    So , I'm seeing this guy and I really like him. He tells me he really likes me too . For some reason tho , I always feel like pushing him. Like sending one word answers and ignoring him for ages . I even said 'I don't wanna see you anymore' (he cancelled a date yesterday) and he begged me not to stop talking to him.

    I don't mean any of it, I really like him , why do I do it ? I always say things to see how he reacts and now I feel like he's given up on me !!!

    Wtf am I such an idiot !!!!! Help
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, sounds like you're being a pain in the arse. You'll lose him if you don't sort your **** out, so I'd suggest... being nice to him? Because you're shooting yourself in the foot otherwise.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon because I don't want him to see .

    So , I'm seeing this guy and I really like him. He tells me he really likes me too . For some reason tho , I always feel like pushing him. Like sending one word answers and ignoring him for ages . I even said 'I don't wanna see you anymore' (he cancelled a date yesterday) and he begged me not to stop talking to him.

    I don't mean any of it, I really like him , why do I do it ? I always say things to see how he reacts and now I feel like he's given up on me !!!

    Wtf am I such an idiot !!!!! Help
    your playing mind games to see if he'll stick around no matter what you do. if you really like him i wouldn't play those games, thats what messes things up. just trust the fact that he likes you, if you give him that off-ish vibe hes gonna give it straight back to you and its really not worth it. if you like him? show it & enjoy your time with him wherever it may lead to
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Why would you tell someone you don't want to see them when you do?

    Yes you are an idiot. My ex did this, toxic relationship, sort yourself out.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    Lol, we can't help you. You just need to stop being so difficult and co-operate with him. Things come up which is why people need to cancel. Seriously, he's going to lose interest otherwise.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    They call it a 's*** test' or 'frame test' in 'Pick Up Artist' (PUA) circles. It's a way of testing the guy's worth in various ways. Ideally you'll want a guy to respond to a test in a way which indicates that he's of sturdy character, not needy, insecure, beta, etc. As I understand it, it's quite natural and innate in women. So don't sweat it, I guess. I would guess that one reason you could be continually testing him is that he doesn't respond well to the tests, but you want it to work out so you keep giving him more chances by re-testing?

    Sounds like he hasn't given up on liking you though, because as you said he 'begged you not to stop talking to him'. There's a possibility that he just doesn't know what's going on with all these tests, and perhaps interprets it as meaning that you don't like him. Or he just finds it irksome and is irritated by it, without knowing what these tests are for or that they even exist. In my experience as a guy, there comes a point when the tests get really annoying and you just give up lol. I guess some girls test more than others.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    That's exactly what I did and lost my ex because of it. I regretted it for months. Horrible feeling. Please, please stop it. Or at least try, because I know how hard it is. I called it "self sabotage" and it's actually really common. I suggest you read up about "self sabotage in relationships". Maybe it can shed some light? It shed some for me but when it was too late.

    Good luck!
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon because I don't want him to see .

    So , I'm seeing this guy and I really like him. He tells me he really likes me too . For some reason tho , I always feel like pushing him. Like sending one word answers and ignoring him for ages . I even said 'I don't wanna see you anymore' (he cancelled a date yesterday) and he begged me not to stop talking to him.

    I don't mean any of it, I really like him , why do I do it ? I always say things to see how he reacts and now I feel like he's given up on me !!!

    Wtf am I such an idiot !!!!! Help
    These of the type of girls I lose interest in very quickly, if you like him stop playing these silly games, any wonder he is giving up.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks guys !

    I just messaged him to say sorry for being a cow and he just said 'how do you mean, don't need to be sorry'. So I have a really good egg don't I , can't **** this up. Gonna sort my head out !
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 8, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.