It's very frustrating. We are always hyper aware of one another and things become rapidly intense when we spot each other across the room, you almost get a sickly feeling which is unbearable. However today he sat next to me and it's as if neither of us exist. Is this normal? neither of us dared to look to our side! He was abit restless and I pretended that I am focusing even though he is all there is in my mind. At some point my friends decided to surprise me with a visit, I used this opportunity to attract attention. Me and friends went into a state of frenzy, I think we distracted the poor man. However In the evening I had calmed down and when I did talk to my crush eventually, i didn't know what it was that I was attracted to, it's like all the feelings I had for him disappeared. It's insane because if I don't see him for a while, my body responds like I'm in a fight/flight mode when I do see him.
Talking to him today was definitely the highlight of my day but I'm getting tired of this whole thing of avoiding each other but acting like nothing is going on when we converse.it's mentally draining but I know that he doesn't want a relationship right because he prioritises his work and so do I but what do I do? Avoid the library altogether?
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