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    #1

    Something I feared that would possibly happen at somepoint in my life, happend.

    Basically I've never been confident at all, as such I haven't ever flirted with anyone, asked them out and so forth. Back in September I was at a house warming party, talked to a few people but mainly stuck around my housemates for company.

    Then about an hour in, a girl arrived and after half an hour came over to say hi to me and my housemates. She then talked to me for the rest of the evening, (party ending at 3AM) of which was spent with some light flirting (probably possible due to me being tipsy) and we found to have a lot in common with each other.

    Anyway, basically she made her intentions obvious. Along with others at the party later telling me that it was obvious she liked me. However, 4 months on I haven't contacted her (she added me on facebook at the end of the party asking for my phone to add me) at all.

    As the week after the party I really wanted to contact her. I really liked her (still think about her now and then) yet I didn't have the confidence to even just message hi. (way too late now to message anything) I was overthinking the enire evening. Did I miss read the signs? Was it purely because she was drunk? Ultimately I couldn't believe that she would of liked me in that way. As she was so attractive to me.

    Basically I now realise my fear of that even when the other person makes the first move I will still miss the opportunity to ask them out. I'm in a state of huge regret and now I fear that for the rest of my life I will be in this state, due to missing every future opportunity such as this.

    What can I do in the future? Or Am I over thinking this? Worrying about nothing.
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    Well, you can try again with her. Send her a private message via Facebook and tell her that something reminded you of that party she both attended. You can even ask if she remembers you. If she responds positively you've got your foot in the door, so to speak. It is of course possible that she doesn't respond or has a boyfriend, whatever. But, she may be very happy that you decided to contact her. If this feels too overwhelming or you're not comfortable going out and meeting another girl then, to be honest, I suggest you get some counseling. This may be something you can work on to improve on your own but if you start recognizing a repeating pattern of this then you should get help to help you understand why you over-think (and self sabotage) things and why it is inhibiting your inner personal relationships. Certainly nothing wrong or weak about seeking help to literally help you improve your future.

    Good Luck!
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    Don't worry mate you'll gain the confidence in time, just have faith and it will happen!
    • Political Ambassador
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    Yes, you missed your opportunity. You gotta be more confident in the future, parties are a great way of meeting girls, but you have to know how to take advantage of it.

    Always contact the girl you were flirting with at the party, especially if she seems interested. That's what she wants and you said it yourself, she made her intentions obvious.

    Man up and talk to them the next day, you have nothing to lose after all.
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    message her lol. She's probably still single. Just link her to this thread so she can understand why you didn't message straight away.

    Get some balls lmao.

    (Original post by EC)
    Yes, you missed your opportunity. You gotta be more confident in the future, parties are a great way of meeting girls, but you have to know how to take advantage of it.

    Always contact the girl you were flirting with at the party, especially if she seems interested. That's what she wants and you said it yourself, she made her intentions obvious.

    Man up and talk to them the next day, you have nothing to lose after all.
    reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeal talk
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    You ****ed it mate. You need to act on instinct because now that girl would have friendzoned you. Don't be scared just do it, as long as that is what they want from you. Although that oppurtunity has been missed, you know for next time, so that you can react to the situation differently. Girls aren't anything special/different, they are people like me and you so just act normal in front of them and you won't freeze up etc
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    (Original post by neal95)
    You ****ed it mate. You need to act on instinct because now that girl would have friendzoned you. Don't be scared just do it, as long as that is what they want from you. Although that oppurtunity has been missed, you know for next time, so that you can react to the situation differently. Girls aren't anything special/different, they are people like me and you so just act normal in front of them and you won't freeze up etc
    It's not been missed if she's still single lol. If you fancied someone last month you'l still fancy them the next month.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    It's not been missed if she's still single lol. If you fancied someone last month you'l still fancy them the next month.
    I suppose it wouldn't hurt for him to try and slide into the dms :L
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    Oh come on. There's lacking confidence and then there's just plain stupidity. I get that it's hard to ask a girl out etc face to face, but you should've been able to do it over facebook.

    You literally had the opportunity presented to you on a plate! She asked for your Facebook, so you should've sent her a message. Yeah you missed a chance, next time be stronger!
    • #2
    #2

    Just message her! you probs won't see her again if it goes badly
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    Well take this as a learning opportunity and next time - message the girl!
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    Just stop caring so much.
    • Study Helper
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    Before they find the 'right one' every guy must get through a series of rejections.

    Every girl has to kiss quite a few toads before they find their 'prince'.

    Such is life. But you will never find anyone unless you grow some balls and ask!
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    Ifthat's your worst fear then the world of human relationships holds all manner of unpleasant surprises for you.
 
 
 
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