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Need advice on an inicident with a member of staff at college Watch

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    (Original post by habouya)
    I think both of u were in the wrong. So u should have moved when he asked u to. I understand that he was shocked and everything. But since he has gone back to his senses and recovered from the shock. I think he owes u an apology too. Just because he was emotionally distressed does not mean he should not apologise back. But at the same time, if u actually press on the matter, u will be at a disadvantage. Remember the world isn't always a fair place. So just accept it and apologise. Posted from TSR Mobile
    Completely agree with your point, this is my perspective on things, I have agreed to apologise and have asked to speak to the guard personally one on one, I will first apologise to him and discuss the situation and explain Im not a badly behaved student or any of that It was just a one off incident. Then I will ask him if he believes he owes me an apology if he says no then fair enough I will accept it and have to move on, If he does then we can shake hands and move on and forget.
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    Apologise for getting in the way, and while I'd expect you to get an apology back, don't be surprised if you don't get one. No one was a saint in this situation so at least if he doesn't apologise you can walk away feeling like the bigger person
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think he should apologise for the unprofessional behaviour of hurling unnecessary insults at you and grabbing you by the shirt, but I wouldn't push it if I were you. Seems like you just want to put this event behind you, so it may be worth mentioning about the fact you'd like an apology, but don't sweat it if you don't get one.
    Completely agree with you, I have asked to speak to the guard one on one, I will apologise and discuss how it was a one off for me etc and ask if he thinks im deserved one, either way we will move on from there..
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    (Original post by bloodytriangles)
    Apologise for getting in the way, and while I'd expect you to get an apology back, don't be surprised if you don't get one. No one was a saint in this situation so at least if he doesn't apologise you can walk away feeling like the bigger person
    Great response thanks, I'll be doing this tomorrow.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    However I was still threatened and personally insulted by someone who is meant to protect me at my place of study.
    Okay. I shall leave it at this and I wouldn't bother responding to me if I were you because if you didn't see my point before you aren't magically going to now.

    You are being selfish. That man had just seen someone kill themselves, that man was trying to grant the poor girl some modesty after death and trying to do his job by moving some juvenile, gawking teens away from the area. As he tries to move them, they ignore him, giggle nervously and continue to stare.

    Meanwhile you've just witnessed one of the most emotionally distressing things of all time and here are some stupid teens ignoring you.

    I would have damned punched you if it were me. Trust me. He was polite.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    Then I will ask him if he believes he owes me an apology
    I don't recommend doing this. That's what a douche would say.

    Instead, apologise and say you didn't realise how serious the situation was or what was happening, that must have been really shocking etc. Chances are he will spontaneously apologise himself and you can shake hands. If not, then you can move on anyway.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    Completely agree with you, I have asked to speak to the guard one on one, I will apologise and discuss how it was a one off for me etc and ask if he thinks im deserved one, either way we will move on from there..
    Ahh, if you're meeting one on one, then do stress how you had no idea about what he had just witnessed and your behaviour would've been completely different if you had any clue to what had just happened. That being said, mention how you should've listened to his instructions the first time regardless of the scenario.
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    (Original post by chazwomaq)
    I don't recommend doing this. That's what a douche would say.

    Instead, apologise and say you didn't realise how serious the situation was or what was happening, that must have been really shocking etc. Chances are he will spontaneously apologise himself and you can shake hands. If not, then you can move on anyway.
    Have to agree. Don't ask him to apologise. Wait for it to be volunteered. If none is forthcoming, move on. Asking him to apologise is petty and will just make you sound like a spoiled, immature brat. [Sorry OP, but to me that's how it would sound if you asked him to apologise].
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    Why did you not just do what you were told straight away? Lol
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    I think that he did verbally abuse you and threatened you which deserves an apology, no matter how angry or upset you are it is not acceptable.
    I think the wisest thing to do would be to apologise to him, dont ask for an apology because it will start an argument and open a door you dont want to enter. just be the bigger person in this, and let it go, i know the way he acted was bad but he will still be upset and will just make the situation hell for you. Good luck
    edit: just say "im very sorry, i didnt realise what was happening and i dont know what i was thinking, please accept my apology." and shake hands and leave it as that. then theres no repercussions.
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    (Original post by ShannyMorrison)
    Okay. I shall leave it at this and I wouldn't bother responding to me if I were you because if you didn't see my point before you aren't magically going to now.

    You are being selfish. That man had just seen someone kill themselves, that man was trying to grant the poor girl some modesty after death and trying to do his job by moving some juvenile, gawking teens away from the area. As he tries to move them, they ignore him, giggle nervously and continue to stare.

    Meanwhile you've just witnessed one of the most emotionally distressing things of all time and here are some stupid teens ignoring you.

    I would have damned punched you if it were me. Trust me. He was polite.
    Are you reading my posts correctly? It wasnt a suicide and I was nowhere near the actual incident, I certainly couldn't see what was going on. Also I had absolutely no idea what had happened, we were never told what had happened. Until after the day and I'd already filed my complaint, in hindsight knowing what I know now, I was in the wrong and will apologise. But it wont stop me from thinking I am owed an apology for threats and insults which were unnecessary. Had I been told at least a fraction of what had occurred in the building I would then have moved on, I was a curious teenager like 95% of teenagers.
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    (Original post by chazwomaq)
    I don't recommend doing this. That's what a douche would say.

    Instead, apologise and say you didn't realise how serious the situation was or what was happening, that must have been really shocking etc. Chances are he will spontaneously apologise himself and you can shake hands. If not, then you can move on anyway.
    Okay good advice, thanks.
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    Good luck with it mate.
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    (Original post by prettykt)
    I think that he did verbally abuse you and threatened you which deserves an apology, no matter how angry or upset you are it is not acceptable.
    I think the wisest thing to do would be to apologise to him, dont ask for an apology because it will start an argument and open a door you dont want to enter. just be the bigger person in this, and let it go, i know the way he acted was bad but he will still be upset and will just make the situation hell for you. Good luck
    edit: just say "im very sorry, i didnt realise what was happening and i dont know what i was thinking, please accept my apology." and shake hands and leave it as that. then theres no repercussions.
    Okay will do, thanks alot, good advice. Hopefully I shall sort it tomorrow.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    I was a curious teenager like 95% of teenagers.
    If the 1996 part of your username is accurate then you're 20, not 15. Don't make excuses for being childish.
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    You were in the wrong. The security guard was in the wrong. You have correctly agreed to apologise. The security guard should volunteer an apology but this has been made more difficult by you asking for one and appearing (?) to make it a condition of your own apology. His colleagues are supporting him because he has a lot more to think about right now than whether his pride will allow him to apologise to (what he probably sees as) an arrogant brat who made his life harder while he was trying to do his job on a day that had already turned out to be pretty awful.

    Seeing a young person dying/dead is horrible. Seeing a sudden, unexpected, and traumatic death is horrible. Having responsibility (even if briefly before emergency services turn up) for such a scene is horrible, as is being put in that position for the first time. He is likely to take some leave to sort this out in his mind and will probably be profoundly effected by this for the rest of his life.

    I personally would send him a genuine apology without any reservations or conditions. If you receive one in return then that's excellent and the world is (almost) right again. If you don't, you could complain about his conduct but I think you'd be an d*ck to do so.
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    (Original post by markova21)
    Have to agree. Don't ask him to apologise. Wait for it to be volunteered. If none is forthcoming, move on. Asking him to apologise is petty and will just make you sound like a spoiled, immature brat. [Sorry OP, but to me that's how it would sound if you asked him to apologise].
    Okay thanks for the advice, Ive emailed my tutor and asked to meet with the guard and apologise to him, if he does he does if not then at least I can move on. thanks.
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    (Original post by MonteCristo)
    You were in the wrong. The security guard was in the wrong. You have correctly agreed to apologise. The security guard should volunteer an apology but this has been made more difficult by you asking for one and appearing (?) to make it a condition of your own apology. His colleagues are supporting him because he has a lot more to think about right now than whether his pride will allow him to apologise to (what he probably sees as) an arrogant brat who made his life harder while he was trying to do his job on a day that had already turned out to be pretty awful.

    Seeing a young person dying/dead is horrible. Seeing a sudden, unexpected, and traumatic death is horrible. Having responsibility (even if briefly before emergency services turn up) for such a scene is horrible, as is being put in that position for the first time. He is likely to take some leave to sort this out in his mind and will probably be profoundly effected by this for the rest of his life.

    I personally would send him a genuine apology without any reservations or conditions. If you receive one in return then that's excellent and the world is (almost) right again. If you don't, you could complain about his conduct but I think you'd be an d*ck to do so.
    Yeah I agree with your point, as ive mentioned at the time when I reported it we were completely unaware of the incident that had occured. In hindsight now, I understand more why he reacted how he did and accept that he is probably going through alot. I wont ask for an apology and will just see if he believes himself that he should offer me one.
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    1. You were in the wrong for not moving.
    2. He handled it unprofessionally. I dont think laughing considering it was his friend was the cleverest thing to do.
    3. You can give yourself a reserved apology if you insist, part of which you can state he shouldnt have handled it the way he did.
    4. You may feel aggrieved, but I wouldnt bet on him apologising. I doubt they would kick you out, even if its your word against his, but its a risk.
    5. Either take it to an investigation or just shake hands and deal with it informally. Your behaviour was poor and if youd just have moved then the situation would have been avoided entirely.
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    (Original post by ShannyMorrison)
    If the 1996 part of your username is accurate then you're 20, not 15. Don't make excuses for being childish.
    Pointless even arguing a valid point with you. Thanks for your input but I wont be listening to it. I'll listen to the more sensible and neutral replies.
 
 
 
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