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Need advice on an inicident with a member of staff at college Watch

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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    1. You were in the wrong for not moving.
    2. He handled it unprofessionally. I dont think laughing considering it was his friend was the cleverest thing to do.
    3. You can give yourself a reserved apology if you insist, part of which you can state he shouldnt have handled it the way he did.
    4. You may feel aggrieved, but I wouldnt bet on him apologising. I doubt they would kick you out, even if its your word against his, but its a risk.
    5. Either take it to an investigation or just shake hands and deal with it informally. Your behaviour was poor and if youd just have moved then the situation would have been avoided entirely.
    I have agreed to apologise and ill let him decide if he does or not. Just to point out though, it wasnt his friend that passed it was a student, and to put the situation in a bit more context I had no idea what had just happened inside the college and also had no idea he was involved with the incident. Upon hindsight now I know that he was there and witnessed it, I can agree I was in the wrong and why he got carried away.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    Pointless even arguing a valid point with you. Thanks for your input but I wont be listening to it. I'll listen to the more sensible and neutral replies.
    Absolute selfish child.
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    (Original post by ShannyMorrison)
    Absolute selfish child.
    Why are you still commenting on this thread, has he touched a nerve? The guy asked for advice and your first post told him not to bother replying and finished by you saying you would've punched him? Sure you can say he was in the wrong, that's fine, but there's a way of going about giving advice. He's realised he made a mistake and is going to apologise, what more do you want?
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    Weird that you didn't move, but he should apologise too.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    I have agreed to apologise and ill let him decide if he does or not. Just to point out though, it wasnt his friend that passed it was a student, and to put the situation in a bit more context I had no idea what had just happened inside the college and also had no idea he was involved with the incident. Upon hindsight now I know that he was there and witnessed it, I can agree I was in the wrong and why he got carried away.
    If it makes you feel any better, then you can keep the apology short. If you want to try and justify your actions, then you run the risk of it being rejected. Its possible to do it in a reserved way but you should get the balance right and I wouldnt trust you to have the experience to do that. Apologise and get on with your life.

    If I had been involved I would have done as instructed. I wouldnt have answered back. Thats not a sign of weakness, just the fact people should be allowed to do their jobs.
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    (Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
    Weird that you didn't move, but he should apologise too.
    I know, I mean I saw a load of police cars rushing onto the scene and as a young lad I was just totally curious I never expected the situation to be what it was, now in hindsight If i'd of known I would of moved instantly, just at the time I didn tbelieve I was doing anything wrong and was being forcefully moved from the situation with no explanation why etc, now I understand why he was emotional and aggressive.. However, I do accept I caused the situation and will apologise to him, I will leave it down to him if he thinks he owes me one..
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    Apart from this specific incident thing that (partially) justifies incongruous behaviors, who else thinks that uni staff are often unprofessional, aggressive and psychotic?
    I've heard all sorts of stories and was personally threatened of physical assault by one. Had I not been super-busy with plenty of more important stuff and had he not let me have the last word (i.e stating in front of 50 people that he should not dare to threaten me), I would have reported/sued him.

    Excuse the OT, maybe it's worth a thread of its own, but maybe it only happens at my uni.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    I know, I mean I saw a load of police cars rushing onto the scene and as a young lad I was just totally curious I never expected the situation to be what it was, now in hindsight If i'd of known I would of moved instantly, just at the time I didn tbelieve I was doing anything wrong and was being forcefully moved from the situation with no explanation why etc, now I understand why he was emotional and aggressive.. However, I do accept I caused the situation and will apologise to him, I will leave it down to him if he thinks he owes me one..
    Okay.

    I don't get all the hate you're getting though.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If it makes you feel any better, then you can keep the apology short. If you want to try and justify your actions, then you run the risk of it being rejected. Its possible to do it in a reserved way but you should get the balance right and I wouldnt trust you to have the experience to do that. Apologise and get on with your life.

    If I had been involved I would have done as instructed. I wouldnt have answered back. Thats not a sign of weakness, just the fact people should be allowed to do their jobs.
    I will apologise and explain to him that Im not a problem student this was the first time ive ever been caught up in anything remotely like this. I was just intrigued to the dozens of police cars, had I known what was occurring I'd of moved on straight away, I guess I just overstepped the line and felt like I had a right to stand there when trying to be moved.
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    (Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
    Okay.

    I don't get all the hate you're getting though.
    Its annoying because Ive accepted im in the wrong and will apologise. Everyone just has different opinions on things, but in all honesty probably 95% of people are curious when emergency services are about, especially at a place of work, home, study etc.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    Its annoying because Ive accepted im in the wrong and will apologise. Everyone just has different opinions on things, but in all honesty probably 95% of people are curious when emergency services are about, especially at a place of work, home, study etc.
    True.
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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    I will apologise and explain to him that Im not a problem student this was the first time ive ever been caught up in anything remotely like this. I was just intrigued to the dozens of police cars, had I known what was occurring I'd of moved on straight away, I guess I just overstepped the line and felt like I had a right to stand there when trying to be moved.
    Its easier for you to take any perceived hit and say sorry etc, will all be over quickly. He might even feel he was correct, but when its all said and done, then nobody will care. Dont go too long on explaining.
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    I would have been livid if someone insisted on gawping and not moving in the face of an emergency. It sounds like the member of staff got verbal diarrhoea due to high emotion.

    I wouldn't take it further. It sounds like he's been through enough.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why are you still commenting on this thread, has he touched a nerve?
    Sorry. I think.
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    I still don't understand why some people are acting like pigeons. No offence but it is really annoying me. Can't u see that the lad acknowledged his mistakes? Not only that but to make the argument fair U should consider both sides. Initially the student was in the wrong. But it doesn't justify the way the staff treated him. It is unacceptable to grab someone or use physical assaults and of course followed by swearing. I think the bodyguard certainly owes him an apology and the college staff are being unfair. I am not dying the student needs to apologise and he was at wrong. But it certainly doesn't mean the staff should just have it his own way.


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    (Original post by Lewisgibson1996)
    Okay, Im going to make this as short and basic as possible. Unfortunately recently a young student passed away at college (RIP). Whilst at college a hoard of emergency service vehicles turned up right as I was leaving college. At this point I was completely unaware of the situation, and among these vehicles were 6 police cars.

    Me and my friend stood and watched curious to what was going on, we were on the car park and a way from the incident and not in anyway blocking a path for the emergency services.

    A security guard told me to move, I didnt and continued watching. This happened twice. Now, he began to get aggressive and call me a ****ing **** and pussy several times, me and my friend just laughed in total disbelief. He then grabbed my shirt and tried to pull me to college in which I shrugged him off and just laughed again as if to say wtf is he doing. He then threatened to knock me out twice, and said he'd see me on the car park later on my own. I never provoked any of this just simply laughed it off in disbelief.

    So after reporting the incident etc, ive been told the guard was with the student who unfortunately passed away and was extremely emotional and upset, upon finding this out after my complaint I told staff that I understood his emotions now and accepted why he swore at me. I was offered 2 options, I apologise to him and thats the end of it, or I formally investigate it which will most likely result in me losing because I refused to follow instructions and obstructed emergency services (who I was nowhere near), they said If I choose this route and lose I will get kicked out of college for the reasons above. I was also told my friends statement would be unreliable because he's my friend.

    I agreed to apologise but said I also wanted an apology for the personal insults and threats, I was told they doubt he'd accept that conclusion and it could then lead to him investigating me which will have the same outcome, me getting kicked out.

    I was then told alot of staff have viewed this and believe im trying to seek self indulgence and being selfish.

    What should I do? Where do I stand? Is it worth just apologising and feeling complete unjust but knowing it will be over and I can finish my final year?
    Just swallow your pride and apologise even if inside you don't mean it, it's hardly worth risking getting kicked out for.

    Trust me it won't be the last time throughout life that you'll have do this.
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    Anyways at the end of the day just apologise to the guy. Like someone said u should just swallow ur pride and go along with it. It will not be the last time u will encounter something like this but it's important to make a wise choice even if it hurts u deep down in your heart. Good luck😉.


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