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    Hi everyone, was writing my UCAS statement (isn;t it fun!!)

    OK, theres this bit of it

    In addition, I am hoping to take part in a trip to Brazil in the summer of 2005 to try to aid the economically disadvantaged country of Brazil by helping build self-help shelters for some of the poorest residents of Rio de Janeiro, I hope this to be a rewarding experiences that will mature me and broaden my horizons; it is also a classic example of market failure and the problems facing the politicians of developing countries, two areas of economics I have a keen interest in, as I believe they will come to the forefront of economic debate in years to come. This experience should help me successfully achieve a distinction award in the millennium volunteers scheme in which I currently participate.

    I want to do PPE, but I cant find a good philosophy quote about poverty to put in there, really annoying me, any help would be HUGELY appreciated

    Also, I'm having real trouble saying everything I enjoy about all three strands of the subject, anyone got any ideas or suggestions for smoothly linking them in?

    oo, just thort, Im applying to Oxford, Warwick, York, Durham, UEA and Essex (probably) any thoughts on those universities (not sure if people want me to start a thread in another forum for that) and anything I could put in that would impress people at those universities (Is there a killer phase that garuntees me an unconditional offer? :rolleyes:

    Thanks

    Dan

    P.S. This is the third post I have started asking for help, I will try and make a contribution on someone elses post when I can, but everyone else seems so much cleverer (is that a word?) and well informed than I am...
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    (Original post by Danfrank10)
    Hi everyone, was writing my UCAS statement (isn;t it fun!!)

    OK, theres this bit of it

    In addition, I am hoping to take part in a trip to Brazil in the summer of 2005 to try to aid the economically disadvantaged country of Brazil by helping build self-help shelters for some of the poorest residents of Rio de Janeiro, I hope this to be a rewarding experiences that will mature me and broaden my horizons; it is also a classic example of market failure and the problems facing the politicians of developing countries, two areas of economics I have a keen interest in, as I believe they will come to the forefront of economic debate in years to come. This experience should help me successfully achieve a distinction award in the millennium volunteers scheme in which I currently participate.

    I want to do PPE, but I cant find a good philosophy quote about poverty to put in there, really annoying me, any help would be HUGELY appreciated

    Also, I'm having real trouble saying everything I enjoy about all three strands of the subject, anyone got any ideas or suggestions for smoothly linking them in?

    oo, just thort, Im applying to Oxford, Warwick, York, Durham, UEA and Essex (probably) any thoughts on those universities (not sure if people want me to start a thread in another forum for that) and anything I could put in that would impress people at those universities (Is there a killer phase that garuntees me an unconditional offer? :rolleyes:

    Thanks

    Dan

    P.S. This is the third post I have started asking for help, I will try and make a contribution on someone elses post when I can, but everyone else seems so much cleverer (is that a word?) and well informed than I am...
    *more clever

    I wouldn't say there is a need to link the three strands in your personal statement, as alot things that actually link the three strands are things you would not be mentioning in your PS! Besides, as long as you show your passion for the current world, and how it works you are showing your passion for all three strands. Deeply rooted in all current affairs and all political and economic decisions are fundamental philosophical positions.

    I also imagine a quotation is unnecessary, and I imagine it would be hard to find one explicitly about poverty from a philosopher. If I was to use a quote I would probably go with Rosseau or similar as it would interlink all three strands brilliantly. I'm sure self interest is the real reason your going to Rio de Januerio alongside the added bonus of helping people - so perhaps you should have a look at the issue of a moral action in your statement?

    Have fun

    corey
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    as alot things that actually link the three strands are things you would not be mentioning in your PS!

    Dont know how to quote- but what do you mean by that? Is it really advanced or unnessecary or....

    Thats actually a really good point, I was doing some research on Turkey (in itself to give me at least one less spoken about country to use if I get an interview) and I noticed Greece and Turkey are less than best of friends, but Greece contributed greatly during the earthquakes in 1999- but were their actions purely for humanitarian reasons? Were they possibly to increase its prestige (i.e. Oh my aren;t we mature, helping that country we hate, now, give us more IMF votes! - I know it doesnt work like that before anyone says!)

    If I put in that moral question about my true motives though, wouldn't it detract from my application..?
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    (Original post by Danfrank10)
    Hi everyone, was writing my UCAS statement (isn;t it fun!!)

    OK, theres this bit of it

    In addition, I am hoping to take part in a trip to Brazil in the summer of 2005 to try to aid the economically disadvantaged country of Brazil by helping build self-help shelters for some of the poorest residents of Rio de Janeiro, I hope this to be a rewarding experiences that will mature me and broaden my horizons; it is also a classic example of market failure and the problems facing the politicians of developing countries, two areas of economics I have a keen interest in, as I believe they will come to the forefront of economic debate in years to come. This experience should help me successfully achieve a distinction award in the millennium volunteers scheme in which I currently participate.

    I want to do PPE, but I cant find a good philosophy quote about poverty to put in there, really annoying me, any help would be HUGELY appreciated

    Also, I'm having real trouble saying everything I enjoy about all three strands of the subject, anyone got any ideas or suggestions for smoothly linking them in?

    oo, just thort, Im applying to Oxford, Warwick, York, Durham, UEA and Essex (probably) any thoughts on those universities (not sure if people want me to start a thread in another forum for that) and anything I could put in that would impress people at those universities (Is there a killer phase that garuntees me an unconditional offer? :rolleyes:

    Thanks

    Dan

    P.S. This is the third post I have started asking for help, I will try and make a contribution on someone elses post when I can, but everyone else seems so much cleverer (is that a word?) and well informed than I am...
    How about this?
    In addition, I hope to take part in a trip to Brazil in the summer of 2005 by participating in the construction of self-help shelters for some of the poorest residents of Rio de Janeiro. Not only will it be a practical means of aiding disadvantaged groups, but also I hope this to be an inwardly rewarding experience. Favelas can also be seen as a classic example of market failure and the problems facing the politicians of developing countries: two areas of economics I have a keen interest in. This experience should help me successfully achieve a distinction award in the millennium volunteers scheme (in which I currently participate).

    And, by the way, there is no 'killer phrase' - You wish!!!!
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    Go with Geogger's advice. The tone of your personal statement sounds wrong. You mention Brazil twice in the same sentence. You also seem to be lacking in decent use of punctuation. Geogger's rephrasing sounds much more succint and clear. Writing your personal statement is more about conveying tone than anything else.

    EDIT: It's not necessary to try and show how much you know. Don't try to impress them with your knowledge: in an interview they will tie you up in knots in seconds. They are looking to see whether you have the aptitude to learn. The best way to convey this in your statement is through clear, succint writing.

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by Geogger)
    Not only will it be a practical means of aiding disadvantaged groups, but also I hope this to be an inwardly rewarding experience.
    Sorry Geogger, I know this is pedancy at its worst, but I have to point this out. Constructive criticism and all that...

    Your use of 'but' in the sentence doesn't sound right. This word is a conjunction used to balance a sentence where two statements are in conflict. In this case there is just one statement to be made and so there is no need for a conjunction . It would sound better if it read:

    "Not only will it be a practical means of aiding disadvantaged groups, it will also, I hope, be an inwardly rewarding experience."

    This is pedantic, I know, but when undertaking these things it is important to be spot on.
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    (Original post by muncrun)
    Sorry Geogger, I know this is pedancy at its worst, but I have to point this out. Constructive criticism and all that...

    Your use of 'but' in the sentence doesn't sound right. This word is a conjunction used to balance a sentence where two statements are in conflict. In this case there is just one statement to be made and so there is no need for a conjunction . It would sound better if it read:

    "Not only will it be a practical means of aiding disadvantaged groups, it will also, I hope, be an inwardly rewarding experience."

    This is pedantic, I know, but when undertaking these things it is important to be spot on.
    Fine, it was just off the top of my head, and was only supposed to be a start for the chap! Never claimed to be perfect!!!
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    That does sound alot better, thanks- I think I;m finding it difficult to write succincltly because I have so much to say about PPE! I might take my PS, and just write out bullet points of the key bits of each paragraph, and then work my way out from there again before doing another copy!

    Cheers

    Dan
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    These quotations seem like they could fit in somewhere to your statement.

    HH the Dalai Lama:
    This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.

    Frederick Douglass
    Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.

    Ursula K. Le Guin
    Success is somebody else's failure. Success is the American Dream we can keep dreaming because most people in most places, including thirty million of ourselves, live wide awake in the terrible reality of poverty.

    Good luck with your statement, I know it is terribly hard, but I can see you will make a good PPE student Good luck for thursday too!
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    Are you going because you're interested in market failure, or is it actually an altruistic thing? To be honest I think admissions tutors wouldn't take the way you're attributing your trip to your interest in PPE very seriously because, let's face it, that's not why people go. I personally think it would be better to stop at the semi-colon.

    Anyway, quotations aren't that important, and they can look a bit tacky. Having said all this, I did get 3 PPE rejections...
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    No, I'm going because of the experience, but its also an example of market failiure (not enough resources allocated to building the houses) government failiure (though in the literal not the economic sense) and more than that its a faliure on the behalf of the world community (for want of a less cliched term!) And It would be interesting to see exactly what life is like there, and exactly what the government are doing- instead of seeing polished production videos in my Geography class!

    The quotes look good, I'm so unsure about quotes, I think they show background reading (well, not mine in this case :confused: ...) and because they show an enthusiasm for the subject, but theres alot of word space, and when I went to SSutton School at Bristol the law admin tutor said she doen't like them...
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    (Original post by Danfrank10)
    No, I'm going because of the experience, but its also an example of market failiure (not enough resources allocated to building the houses) government failiure (though in the literal not the economic sense) and more than that its a faliure on the behalf of the world community (for want of a less cliched term!) And It would be interesting to see exactly what life is like there, and exactly what the government are doing- instead of seeing polished production videos in my Geography class!

    The quotes look good, I'm so unsure about quotes, I think they show background reading (well, not mine in this case :confused: ...) and because they show an enthusiasm for the subject, but theres alot of word space, and when I went to SSutton School at Bristol the law admin tutor said she doen't like them...
    I confess, on the whole, if I were reading your PPE statement, I would prefer to know what YOU thought about somethng rather than reading about someone else's ideas (which they know already!). More useful perhaps is to read Utilitarianism by Mill and use perhaps a word or a phrase which is reminiscent of but not a direct quote... eg the greatest good etc
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    I have just sent you a private message (pm) - that might help
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    (Original post by Danfrank10)
    No, I'm going because of the experience, but its also an example of market failiure (not enough resources allocated to building the houses) government failiure (though in the literal not the economic sense) and more than that its a faliure on the behalf of the world community (for want of a less cliched term!) And It would be interesting to see exactly what life is like there, and exactly what the government are doing- instead of seeing polished production videos in my Geography class!

    The quotes look good, I'm so unsure about quotes, I think they show background reading (well, not mine in this case :confused: ...) and because they show an enthusiasm for the subject, but theres alot of word space, and when I went to SSutton School at Bristol the law admin tutor said she doen't like them...
    OK, two parts here.
    I think you should be honest and say that you're going because it's an amazing experience. When you write "And It would be interesting to see exactly what life is like there, and exactly what the government are doing- instead of seeing polished production videos in my Geography class!" I think that's more the sort of thing you should be saying, though obviously a bit more formally.

    Second part: Personally, I think quotations make personal statements etc look a bit tacky. You're writing about what you want to do, not what other people do...

    But I'm not an authority on this by any means. This is just the logic I used when I applied.
 
 
 

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