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Struggling to get over an Ex/Ex Friend Watch

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    #1

    This guy messed me around, we were friends, then dated, then became friends again. I told him I was in love with him and he essentially repeatedly went from saying he wanted me to saying he couldn't have a relationship. In hindsight I probably had a 'lucky' escape because I came to realise he was manipulative, lied about significant things and not the person I actually thought I was in love with. So why do I still miss him? Or at least the memories we have together before it all got messy. He probably hurt me the most out of all the people dated and I should hate it and never want to see him but I don't, I feel like there's something wrong with me. He massively affected my self esteem and maybe it's my lack of that this is causing these feelings. We haven't had contact for a few months. Has anyone else struggled to get over someone abusive or the like?
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    I totally understand where you are coming from and have gone through the same thing. You were so attached and emotionally invested even after a period of time it is hard to turn those feelings off. Accept your feeling and know it is because you cared so much and you are a caring person. These strong feelings will, over time, and it could take a looooong time (and that is normal) will fade. You will find someone else and become invested in that relationship and the past will then be in the past. In the meantime though know they are feelings and trust what your head tells you if he tries to contact you and get together again. He'll keep coming back if he thinks he can. Good Luck
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you. Yeah once he realised I definitely meant that was it he wouldn't leave me alone, he did give up eventually but sent a lot of hurtful messages beforehand. I went on a date last month and it totally freaked out, I was so scared of getting rejected again and I'm not usually that bad I think this guy just put me off putting myself out there again. The date didn't work out anyway but I feel like I won't move on until I fall in love with someone else.
 
 
 
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