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I think I had a breakdown, should I drop out? Watch

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    Okay so I've struggled with anxiety and depression for many years now. Anxiety I've been formally diagnosed with and take meds for, depression is more self-diagnosed, because I've never sought help, my anxiety makes it hard for me to approach people, so I've never been able to tell people how down I feel, all the time.

    But I've lived with it. There's been good and bad days. But lately more bad than good. I lie in bed all day every day, I skip lectures whether it's due to being too anxious, or just too sad. I can go days without showering or tidying my room or cleaning up, which just makes me feel worse. Yesterday all the stress and pressure came to a head and I just cried. I have probably cried no more than 4 or 5 times in years, so crying isn't something I do often, but yesterday I did. I cried and cried, not just silent tears like usual, but the loud ugly crying, when your face is all puffy and eyes all red. I couldn't stop. I was sat on the floor in my room crying for a long time.

    The day had started off well, I was up most of the night doing work for uni, as I hadn't been in for two weeks, and felt like I should try to impress my lecturer or he may not be happy with me. I was so happy though, I'd got so much work done that I actually liked, which believe me doesn't happen very often. I was so proud of it and I went straight to uni and stayed the whole day, which in all honesty I haven't done since first year (I am retaking my second year now), because I was in such a good mood. I was excited to show my lecturer my work so I waited until it was my 'tutorial' time, and when I showed him, he hated it. He's the type of guy who says things straight, and boy did he. I know I overreacted, but I had never felt so ashamed in my whole life. To finally be proud of my work only to be told it's basically trash. I'd literally sat there listening to his feedback trying to fight back the tears. He could see I was struggling to maintain face, but he kept talking to me. (he does that, I'm used to him by now). I finally was able to leave and I just about made it to the university toilets before having a panic attack. That's when the crying began and started again when I had got home later that day.

    My question is should I just drop out? Is it really worth staying at uni when it's my retake year, when the work I am proud of turns out to be ****, when I'm barely going into uni anyway. I hate feeling so anxious all the time, feeling like I have nobody to talk to. My best friend at uni doesn't even care. I realised that last night. I told her I'd been upset which she ignored, and then when I was in a bad mood she told me she can't "deal with me" being miserable. And that's my best friend? I re-evaluated everything last night and I realised how little I have. I am trying to get an education and make something of myself but I really don't know how much longer I can do it. Any suggestions? Shall I drop out, do something different and start a fresh? Or shall I keep going- it's only criticism, I can use it to better myself and move on, right? I just don't know much about anything anymore..
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    I've just read this and thought I had to reply, I have had been diagnosed with depression and I went through the same, well not exactly I was in high school, yes earlier this year I thought it's best to drop out and go to college or something, so I know it's hard to talk to people but I battled it, I spoke to my teachers told them what was going on, and they understood and let me off basically, they let me do my work elsewhere and have extensions on homework. I am however guessing that you won't get the same treatment because it's a lot more independent at uni but don't let that be the reason you drop out. In no way am I going to answer your question straight, but what I will say is do what feels right, even if you drop out, it really isn't the worst thing, you got good grades at college or sixth form for getting into a University so apply for a job, even get an apprenticeship. I hope this in some way has helped😊





    QUOTE=Mazzii342;70034606]Okay so I've struggled with anxiety and depression for many years now. Anxiety I've been formally diagnosed with and take meds for, depression is more self-diagnosed, because I've never sought help, my anxiety makes it hard for me to approach people, so I've never been able to tell people how down I feel, all the time.

    But I've lived with it. There's been good and bad days. But lately more bad than good. I lie in bed all day every day, I skip lectures whether it's due to being too anxious, or just too sad. I can go days without showering or tidying my room or cleaning up, which just makes me feel worse. Yesterday all the stress and pressure came to a head and I just cried. I have probably cried no more than 4 or 5 times in years, so crying isn't something I do often, but yesterday I did. I cried and cried, not just silent tears like usual, but the loud ugly crying, when your face is all puffy and eyes all red. I couldn't stop. I was sat on the floor in my room crying for a long time.

    The day had started off well, I was up most of the night doing work for uni, as I hadn't been in for two weeks, and felt like I should try to impress my lecturer or he may not be happy with me. I was so happy though, I'd got so much work done that I actually liked, which believe me doesn't happen very often. I was so proud of it and I went straight to uni and stayed the whole day, which in all honesty I haven't done since first year (I am retaking my second year now), because I was in such a good mood. I was excited to show my lecturer my work so I waited until it was my 'tutorial' time, and when I showed him, he hated it. He's the type of guy who says things straight, and boy did he. I know I overreacted, but I had never felt so ashamed in my whole life. To finally be proud of my work only to be told it's basically trash. I'd literally sat there listening to his feedback trying to fight back the tears. He could see I was struggling to maintain face, but he kept talking to me. (he does that, I'm used to him by now). I finally was able to leave and I just about made it to the university toilets before having a panic attack. That's when the crying began and started again when I had got home later that day.

    My question is should I just drop out? Is it really worth staying at uni when it's my retake year, when the work I am proud of turns out to be ****, when I'm barely going into uni anyway. I hate feeling so anxious all the time, feeling like I have nobody to talk to. My best friend at uni doesn't even care. I realised that last night. I told her I'd been upset which she ignored, and then when I was in a bad mood she told me she can't "deal with me" being miserable. And that's my best friend? I re-evaluated everything last night and I realised how little I have. I am trying to get an education and make something of myself but I really don't know how much longer I can do it. Any suggestions? Shall I drop out, do something different and start a fresh? Or shall I keep going- it's only criticism, I can use it to better myself and move on, right? I just don't know much about anything anymore..[/QUOTE]
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    I haven't read the while thing I'm sorrwy.
    But generally my advice is not to let one breakdown stop you from doing what you want.
    Talk to your uni/college and see what advice tey can give you. It is possible that you may be given more support which can help you.
    If you do feel like dropping out is the best alternative for you, still do this under the advice fo your uni/college. They can make this process smoother and can give you other ideas on what you can do eg apprenticeships etc
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    (Original post by Mazzii342)
    Okay so I've struggled with anxiety and depression for many years now. Anxiety I've been formally diagnosed with and take meds for, depression is more self-diagnosed, because I've never sought help, my anxiety makes it hard for me to approach people, so I've never been able to tell people how down I feel, all the time.

    But I've lived with it. There's been good and bad days. But lately more bad than good. I lie in bed all day every day, I skip lectures whether it's due to being too anxious, or just too sad. I can go days without showering or tidying my room or cleaning up, which just makes me feel worse. Yesterday all the stress and pressure came to a head and I just cried. I have probably cried no more than 4 or 5 times in years, so crying isn't something I do often, but yesterday I did. I cried and cried, not just silent tears like usual, but the loud ugly crying, when your face is all puffy and eyes all red. I couldn't stop. I was sat on the floor in my room crying for a long time.

    The day had started off well, I was up most of the night doing work for uni, as I hadn't been in for two weeks, and felt like I should try to impress my lecturer or he may not be happy with me. I was so happy though, I'd got so much work done that I actually liked, which believe me doesn't happen very often. I was so proud of it and I went straight to uni and stayed the whole day, which in all honesty I haven't done since first year (I am retaking my second year now), because I was in such a good mood. I was excited to show my lecturer my work so I waited until it was my 'tutorial' time, and when I showed him, he hated it. He's the type of guy who says things straight, and boy did he. I know I overreacted, but I had never felt so ashamed in my whole life. To finally be proud of my work only to be told it's basically trash. I'd literally sat there listening to his feedback trying to fight back the tears. He could see I was struggling to maintain face, but he kept talking to me. (he does that, I'm used to him by now). I finally was able to leave and I just about made it to the university toilets before having a panic attack. That's when the crying began and started again when I had got home later that day.

    My question is should I just drop out? Is it really worth staying at uni when it's my retake year, when the work I am proud of turns out to be ****, when I'm barely going into uni anyway. I hate feeling so anxious all the time, feeling like I have nobody to talk to. My best friend at uni doesn't even care. I realised that last night. I told her I'd been upset which she ignored, and then when I was in a bad mood she told me she can't "deal with me" being miserable. And that's my best friend? I re-evaluated everything last night and I realised how little I have. I am trying to get an education and make something of myself but I really don't know how much longer I can do it. Any suggestions? Shall I drop out, do something different and start a fresh? Or shall I keep going- it's only criticism, I can use it to better myself and move on, right? I just don't know much about anything anymore..
    My brain isn't working the best right now so i've had a skim read. I can totally understand how mh would make you want to drop out. If you're using all your energy trying to fight your own emotions you don't have any left for work and attending uni. At some point you have to decide if it's worth it or if you should cut your losses and try your best to deal with the situation you're in. Dropping out may not be the worst option and you can find work without a uni qualification. If you decide to leave do ask about any qualification you may be able to get from your first year. It depends on the course, but you can get at least some sort of credit from a lot of them.
    There is an option other than just dropping out or trying to push through though. You could take some time out as medical leave and use that time to really focus on your health. At the end of that time out you can decide if you want to go back or if you want to look into other options. Your place is reserved for you in that time so if you decide to go back you just pick up where you left off.

    It's worth you talking to student support and working out the best option for you. You may also like to grab yourself a session with one of their support workers or a counsellor/ therapist and talking things through with them.

    Hope that helps, sorry I couldn't be more specific. At the end of the day though it's your decision and you know better than anybody else what you are going through. Even if I told you what to do, you would need to decide if that's what is actually best for you. Student support can help guide you with that. Good luck
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    Sounds a like rough one here, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.
    Normally we'd all recommend to talk to your local therapy counseller, but we all know they're crap as their solution tend to be 'follow your dreams'.

    This is long but worth it:


    I'll get to the point, your professor is a tosser, but unfortunantely that's normal at University. An alternative solution I followed through the years without the mentioned above is to learn how to deal with your professor. For example Instead of saying 'Sir, what do think of my work?' say it as 'Professor, how can I improve this?'. Show/Pretend your passion to get your professor to appreciate you, and be more willing to help you rather than fight you. Mostly importantly don't give up, they try to shake you a bit by testing how you respond inorder to indicate what type of student you are; by steeling yourself, your professor will come to respect you as you've demonstrated interest in his profession by coming back harder and with more questions, rather than trying to pass which they can smell from any student miles off.
    Your almost there, but you need to word your requests correctly, and show more initative to work harder by asking more questions.

    You may think this is a joke, but coming from someone whose parents are both professors at university, I can assure you these type of people are alot more sensitive to this subject area than you think. It's all about how you ask your professor and respect him that makes all the difference.

    As for your social life, I think everyone here can agree your best friend in university isnt at all what she seems to be. If you want to avoid being depressed you need to do the complete opposite of what your currently doing; join a club. Constantly be surrounded by people, get busy, make appointments, play teamsports, all to help increase your adrenaline. Perhaps when you joined unversity, you were on better terms with your friend. But due to the fact people are naturally attracted to social people, your friendship may have degraded slowly because your currently doing nothing, and in her eyes acting pathetic, which strains her intentions to appreicate you since nothing is being offered in return. (I apologize if it seems harsh, but that's the sad truth).

    Sure you can quit university, and think you may live a happy care-free life afterwards, but that certainly wont be the case.
    You university loans, friends and family disappointment, and your self-esteem will all catch up to you no matter how long you run. If I was you, I will do my best to stay, sort out my social life by joining a sports club and make friends, suck up to my professor and change the attitude of my work ethic. As a result I'd leave the place feeling like a King, since despite all the downsets, I shaped up my arse to get a degree, learn to deal with difficult people that can be applied at workplaces and have/can make more friends than initially you begun with.
 
 
 
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