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Poor relationship with mum - can this be fixed? Watch

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    I've never really been away from my mum for long. Infact, I still live with her. However, from my early teens we've always had arguments, nothing major. Just the general stuff teens and parents argue about.
    However, she's always been there for me, looked after me properly and made huge sacrifices for me. I suppose i've always liked to rebel a bit and that caused conflict. As a result, over the last few years I spent more time in my room/with friends than I do with her.
    Long story short i've grown up a bit and yesterday I decided to take her out shopping. That's when I realised how distant we actually are, it was difficult to keep a proper coversation going as there was just the two of us and at times things got awkward as we didn't know what to talk about. It felt like I was trying to connect with a stranger.
    Don't get me wrong, at home we talk alot but it's usually more her being a mum and telling me what I should be doing/talking about work/uni etc. When we finally hung out the whole thing was just weird. It made me sad as I didn't realise how being like this for years and years has made us so distant from one another.
    Can this be changed?
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    Yes. It'll just take time. Slowly slow
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    Absolutely. You sound very mature and have a good perspective. The most important thing is that you clearly want it. I would suggest keeping up with the "away days". Keep the talk that you've been having at home, at home, if you follow my drift. If you can make your outings to places that will give you a starting point for conversation that will help.
    I have the same problem with my mum, we're just too different. But not with my sons. We are incredibly close and live s trip out.
    I find if I take my mum to somewhere like a country house or gardens ( she lives them!) then we always have something to talk about and it leads from there
    Going shopping however or just for lunch and the silence can reign!!!!!
    Even if it's something you don't like then there's still a discussion to be had

    I love my mum greatly

    If you want it to work it will. Keep trying!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've never really been away from my mum for long. Infact, I still live with her. However, from my early teens we've always had arguments, nothing major. Just the general stuff teens and parents argue about.
    However, she's always been there for me, looked after me properly and made huge sacrifices for me. I suppose i've always liked to rebel a bit and that caused conflict. As a result, over the last few years I spent more time in my room/with friends than I do with her.
    Long story short i've grown up a bit and yesterday I decided to take her out shopping. That's when I realised how distant we actually are, it was difficult to keep a proper coversation going as there was just the two of us and at times things got awkward as we didn't know what to talk about. It felt like I was trying to connect with a stranger.
    Don't get me wrong, at home we talk alot but it's usually more her being a mum and telling me what I should be doing/talking about work/uni etc. When we finally hung out the whole thing was just weird. It made me sad as I didn't realise how being like this for years and years has made us so distant from one another.
    Can this be changed?
    Best way to change this is tell her. Ask her why there's so much distance between you two, I'm sure she feels it's as well. Tell her you want to a happy mother daughter relationship and she sounds like a good mom according to what you've said. But yeah tell her exactly how you feel and not tell her u don't want this distance and things will work out itself from there
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    Definitely! watch TV with her, ask her about her day, find something to do together often, keep trying to sit down and talk to her, open up to her for advice (even if you have to make it up… not the best idea but you'll still be bonding). Mums are usually easy to bond with espically if you're a girl. I live with my dad and tbh we don't have loads to talk about, he's always talking about work and doesn't ask much about my day.. so we just talk about his day, politics and maybe I'll tell a few jokes/stories my friends loved and if I'm lucky he'll laugh

    Forgot to add, since I live with my dad I don't see my mum much but it's amazing how we manage to sit and talk for ageeess. After 10 minutes of being at her house it's like I've never been gone because it feels just like home, if it wasn't for school and some other things I'd move back in for sure!
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    Absolutely! But you have to take action. You can create great relationships with her. Ask her questions, talk about what she likes, spend time with her doing what she likes to do. My mum is sooooo much different from me, our tastes are different, I'd rather spend time with someone else. But I love her so I put myself in her shoes. I intentionally talk to her about something she likes to talk, I laugh at her jokes that I don't think are funny and I do things with her that she likes to do. This way we have amazing relationships. Otherwise, we argue a lot.
 
 
 
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