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Guys: Why am I so undateable? Watch

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    #1

    Before I start; I've made this post anonymous for a reason - so that I can be as truthful as possible to get honest feedback. I am in no way exaggerating my characteristics to get sympathy from people on the internet. This is a genuine issue for me and I'd appreciate honest feedback.

    I'm a 20 year old female, currently doing a really good degree at a top Russell Group Uni (details not submitted for obvious reasons).

    I've always prioritised education growing up: I worked really hard throughout my GCSES and A levels to get straight A's so that I could study at a great uni and eventually get a great job. Growing up, I was a bit of an ugly duckling so that made focusing on studying easier as I wasn't fawning over guys and makeup.

    However, when I hit about 16, puberty did wonders and I became much better looking with a good body that I work hard in the gym to maintain (I'm a 'slim thick' body type).

    However, I still focused on my education as I had just entered my AS levels and knew the tough road that lied ahead. I would hear from friends that some guys liked me or they found me attractive but I wasn't much interested and preferred to focus on studying.

    Now, 4 years later, it's hit me that I'm 20 and I have no experience with boys. I'm still "good looking" and have the same body type but I don't get any meaningful attention from boys. I get looks from guys whilst I'm walking but they never stop to talk; I see guys checking me out but again, that's all I seem to be - eye candy.

    I used to think guys were intimidated by my all rounded success but I'm not sure if thats the problem. I really thought I would have had a boyfriend by now. I don't believe in sex before marriage so I'm not worried about being a virgin but I'm just wondering - what am I doing wrong? Why am I so undateable?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get looks from guys whilst I'm walking but they never stop to talk; I see guys checking me out but again, that's all I seem to be - eye candy.
    Umm that's because most times when guys stop and try to talk to women they like they often get pushed away/labelled as creeps (if their ugly to the said girl) and it ends up feeling like you're just harassing the girl. Many guys don't do this now a few still do but i wouldn't say it's common in today's age.

    As for getting a guy it's easy just put yourself out there a little....guys will be interested and will try to pursue you more. Don't be far too open though otherwise you'll come across as too easy. Give subtle hints and make them more obvious e.g. touch him and tell him you love his company etc
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before I start; I've made this post anonymous for a reason - so that I can be as truthful as possible to get honest feedback. I am in no way exaggerating my characteristics to get sympathy from people on the internet. This is a genuine issue for me and I'd appreciate honest feedback.

    I'm a 20 year old female, currently doing a really good degree at a top Russell Group Uni (details not submitted for obvious reasons).

    I've always prioritised education growing up: I worked really hard throughout my GCSES and A levels to get straight A's so that I could study at a great uni and eventually get a great job. Growing up, I was a bit of an ugly duckling so that made focusing on studying easier as I wasn't fawning over guys and makeup.

    However, when I hit about 16, puberty did wonders and I became much better looking with a good body that I work hard in the gym to maintain (I'm a 'slim thick' body type).

    However, I still focused on my education as I had just entered my AS levels and knew the tough road that lied ahead. I would hear from friends that some guys liked me or they found me attractive but I wasn't much interested and preferred to focus on studying.

    Now, 4 years later, it's hit me that I'm 20 and I have no experience with boys. I'm still "good looking" and have the same body type but I don't get any meaningful attention from boys. I get looks from guys whilst I'm walking but they never stop to talk; I see guys checking me out but again, that's all I seem to be - eye candy.

    I used to think guys were intimidated by my all rounded success but I'm not sure if thats the problem. I really thought I would have had a boyfriend by now. I don't believe in sex before marriage so I'm not worried about being a virgin but I'm just wondering - what am I doing wrong? Why am I so undateable?
    Lmao when it comes to relationship, you need to have something to offer, darling. Do you open up easily, do you let yourself be vulnerable, do you treat men (and people in general) as individuals? Are you honest? Sympathetic? Willing to help? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.

    In short, do you have any relationship skills?

    Your degree won't help you in this respect.
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    You're still very young so don't worry about being inexperienced. Based on what you've written, there's nothing suggesting you're undateable - that's just you yourself preventing it from becoming so. Perhaps try and get to know some guys a bit better and approach them rather than them expecting to come to you. I don't think there's anything physically wrong with you - you mentioned that you get looks and in the past have been told you were fancied.

    A bit of humility would go a long way too. I can't help but notice a bit of vanity in your writing... no harm intended - just letting you know, as often it's difficult for people to see themselves as they truly are or admit to it.

    Good luck.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by trapking)
    Umm that's because most times when guys stop and try to talk to women they like they often get pushed away/labelled as creeps (if their ugly to the said girl) and it ends up feeling like you're just harassing the girl. Many guys don't do this now a few still do but i wouldn't say it's common in today's age.

    As for getting a guy it's easy just put yourself out there a little....guys will be interested and will try to pursue you more. Don't be far too open though otherwise you'll come across as too easy. Give subtle hints and make them more obvious e.g. touch him and tell him you love his company etc
    Would you be put of by a girl that's 20 and has never dated before?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    You're still very young so don't worry about being inexperienced. Based on what you've written, there's nothing suggesting you're undateable - that's just you yourself preventing it from becoming so. Perhaps try and get to know some guys a bit better and approach them rather than them expecting to come to you. I don't think there's anything physically wrong with you - you mentioned that you get looks and in the past have been told you were fancied.

    A bit of humility would go a long way too. I can't help but notice a bit of vanity in your writing... no harm intended - just letting you know, as often it's difficult for people to see themselves as they truly are or admit to it.

    Good luck.
    I'm sorry if you thought I was vain; I was just trying to provide a clear physical description as I've been told guys highly value that kind of thing.

    Thanks for the advice tho
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you be put of by a girl that's 20 and has never dated before?
    Of course not BUT what would put me off is if she became very insecure about it and mentioned it all the time e.g. why are you dating me i have no experience?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before I start; I've made this post anonymous for a reason - so that I can be as truthful as possible to get honest feedback. I am in no way exaggerating my characteristics to get sympathy from people on the internet. This is a genuine issue for me and I'd appreciate honest feedback.

    I'm a 20 year old female, currently doing a really good degree at a top Russell Group Uni (details not submitted for obvious reasons).

    I've always prioritised education growing up: I worked really hard throughout my GCSES and A levels to get straight A's so that I could study at a great uni and eventually get a great job. Growing up, I was a bit of an ugly duckling so that made focusing on studying easier as I wasn't fawning over guys and makeup.

    However, when I hit about 16, puberty did wonders and I became much better looking with a good body that I work hard in the gym to maintain (I'm a 'slim thick' body type).

    However, I still focused on my education as I had just entered my AS levels and knew the tough road that lied ahead. I would hear from friends that some guys liked me or they found me attractive but I wasn't much interested and preferred to focus on studying.

    Now, 4 years later, it's hit me that I'm 20 and I have no experience with boys. I'm still "good looking" and have the same body type but I don't get any meaningful attention from boys. I get looks from guys whilst I'm walking but they never stop to talk; I see guys checking me out but again, that's all I seem to be - eye candy.

    I used to think guys were intimidated by my all rounded success but I'm not sure if thats the problem. I really thought I would have had a boyfriend by now. I don't believe in sex before marriage so I'm not worried about being a virgin but I'm just wondering - what am I doing wrong? Why am I so undateable?
    One, you're not undateable. Every guy or girl has looked in the mirror and asked themselves the same question.

    Two, maybe the problem lies in the fact you've never seen the importance of a relationship and you haven't prioritised it over your education (which is by no means a bad thing). If this is the case, then your solution depends on how confident you are with guys. It doesn't hurt to make the first move to a guy you like and see how it goes from there. Maybe ask your friends to take you on a social night to a club or bar, and essentially try and 'wingman' you.

    Essentially, just be more social and more open. Perhaps more willing to have a few fun nights out if you somehow give a 'nerdy' impression to guys.

    Good luck
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    Lmao when it comes to relationship, you need to have something to offer, darling. Do you open up easily, do you let yourself be vulnerable, do you treat men (and people in general) as individuals? Are you honest? Sympathetic? Willing to help? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.

    In short, do you have any relationship skills?

    Your degree won't help you in this respect.
    I wasn't trying to show off of brag; I just wanted to make it clear that I took a studious path in life
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you be put of by a girl that's 20 and has never dated before?
    I'm 21 and never dated before, would you be put off by that?

    (Not a hint, just a general question - use the same answer for your answer...)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before I start; I've made this post anonymous for a reason - so that I can be as truthful as possible to get honest feedback. I am in no way exaggerating my characteristics to get sympathy from people on the internet. This is a genuine issue for me and I'd appreciate honest feedback.

    I'm a 20 year old female, currently doing a really good degree at a top Russell Group Uni (details not submitted for obvious reasons).

    I've always prioritised education growing up: I worked really hard throughout my GCSES and A levels to get straight A's so that I could study at a great uni and eventually get a great job. Growing up, I was a bit of an ugly duckling so that made focusing on studying easier as I wasn't fawning over guys and makeup.

    However, when I hit about 16, puberty did wonders and I became much better looking with a good body that I work hard in the gym to maintain (I'm a 'slim thick' body type).

    However, I still focused on my education as I had just entered my AS levels and knew the tough road that lied ahead. I would hear from friends that some guys liked me or they found me attractive but I wasn't much interested and preferred to focus on studying.

    Now, 4 years later, it's hit me that I'm 20 and I have no experience with boys. I'm still "good looking" and have the same body type but I don't get any meaningful attention from boys. I get looks from guys whilst I'm walking but they never stop to talk; I see guys checking me out but again, that's all I seem to be - eye candy.

    I used to think guys were intimidated by my all rounded success but I'm not sure if thats the problem. I really thought I would have had a boyfriend by now. I don't believe in sex before marriage so I'm not worried about being a virgin but I'm just wondering - what am I doing wrong? Why am I so undateable?
    Okay, so from what little information you describe, I would argue that the main obstacle to you dating is approachability. It can be hard for guys to approach certain girls as they think 'Oh she's way out of my league' or 'she's got a boyfriend' etc... So they don't stop to talk as a result. The best way to counter this really is to initiate the conversation with them first potentially and to just put yourself into more social situations.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm sorry if you thought I was vain; I was just trying to provide a clear physical description as I've been told guys highly value that kind of thing.

    Thanks for the advice tho
    You're not vain - perhaps I worded it wrong - sorry. By all means be happy and blessed in the fact that you've been successful, but don't let it get to your head too much - it may well be your downfall in the future in ways you'd never have fathomed.

    Let your hair down, speak to guys, get to know them, approach them etc. just have some fun and try not to let it bother you. It works both ways, often guys will be just as nervous as you, if not more, even if it's not shown on the outside.

    Personally, I'd advise focusing on your studies, moving out (or back, save up etc.), preparing for a career and so on... but also maintaining good relations with friends as you move on in your life and meet even more people, expanding your network. Just live life, see what happens on the way, experience it, grow and learn from it, be humble and just enjoy. You will have relationships. You will love, you will hate, you will experience so much and you will learn.
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    If you look like Pamela Anderson - men are intimidated and afraid to approach, and don't think they are good enough

    If you look like someone from Eastenders - you are common and approachable and easier.
    • Very Important Poster
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    What Rhaenys said @#3
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    One question - wtf is a "slim thick" body type? Those two words kind of contradict each other.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wasn't trying to show off of brag; I just wanted to make it clear that I took a studious path in life
    I understood dearie, I was just telling you that this doesn't matter if you want to find someone. You're focusing on the wrong things.

    (Original post by cbreef)
    One question - wtf is a "slim thick" body type? Those two words kind of contradict each other.
    exactly lol
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    Guys don't care about what a woman studies, or what she does for a living. They care if she is feminine, cute, kind, fit, slim, and modest. Cooking and cleaning skills also matter.
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    #2

    I guess you may not be as perfect as you percieve yourself to be ?Or maybe you are too perfect for a human male to be attracted to? Tbh, the only one who can answer your question is yourself. Maybe its the lack of self-confidence.


    *Note Im not trying to be rude towards you. Just honest.
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    (Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
    Cooking and cleaning skills also matter.
    Is this a joke? Why would cleaning skills matter?

    What you study isnt essential but it is of interest or at least intelligence is.
    If someone can cook its nice, but not essential.

    If someone can iron or is a scrubber? Its a gf people want not a cleaner.

    I see you were trolling.
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    I suggest you try online dating if you can't find a bf you like in real life..

    If you are as good looking as you say and can't find a BF on there then I would say you are being too picky or there is something wrong with your personality.
 
 
 
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