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    Back story: my uncle travels the world with his work and has no Base. When my gran died, he decided he needed to buy a flat and it tied perfectly in with my partner and I moving out of halls so we’ll live here for a few years/until he comes back to the UK permanently. My bf pays rent and I don't pay rent in exchange I bought all the furniture, sort out the bills, decorate, paint and sort out any problems (I'm 22). I know I'm incredibly lucky-and I'm very lucky to be going to such a great uni with my best friend (bf) I have lots of friends there and an incredibly supportive family

    When our first flatmate had to leave the university as he hadn't gotten into the second year of his PhD we had to quickly find another flatmate fast. met the new flatmate. He's friendly, a friend of a very old friend and we have similar interests. We were pretty desperate so he moved in pretty much straight away.

    Problem is he's a slob! And he doesn’t participate in helping around the house.

    One of the main reasons we liked him was because he said he acted like a parent in his undergrad halls when others were slobs and said he’s fed up with student accommodation. We made it clear this is our home not just a student flat, that he needs to chip in with chores and buying communal stuff and that it’s our home/to be respectful.

    I said I'd buy the bulk of the communal stuff, loo roll, washing stuff so long as we all chip in with the chores and they both give me a bit of money. (I organise, they pay me after)

    My boyfriend does his share perfectly but I feel like this flatmate is becoming my child. He buys mountains of sweets and smokes so much dope and pops pills in his room. (we're fine with a bit-we smoke weed too-but don't tell me you can't pay bills then spend all your money on that!) He has never once done anything to help around the house. Treads mud across the hall (cream carpet), never hoovered, or washed up, never offered to buy anything, steals my things, has broken things and hasn't replaced them, is a general slob (also need Advice- his towels stink, he never washes them and leaves them in the bathroom they are eye-watering).

    the thing that has tipped me over is an event last week; he brought a girl home (perfectly fine-he’s just split up with his gf, we’re fine with her staying over-always said his family/friends/gf can stay) but she was so arrogant and rude, telling him loudly that the place is a mess/is disgusting. I left our washing on the radiator in the front room and she said we are slobs and disgusting for using a communal area. He agreed (fine he was probs horny). He does this all the time, hanging washing on every door and leaving it for days.I recently painted the front room and the place is spotless.

    So we decided to leave them to it -I’d made cakes for my teaching job the next day and left them one, bought coffee, made sure we had enough of everything etc. shouted that we’re going to the gym then the pub and we’ll be out all evening until late-even gave him the names of a few nice pubs/restaurants as he asked-saying I’ll get them a nice table as I know the owner. Said go in the living room if you like, play ps4, gave him the netflix password...

    Next day she made more comments directly to me (hasn’t said hi at this point-went straight into his room the night before) in front of the flatmate and my bf. I was so shocked I didn’t say anything and the flatmate said yeah you really should clean up more it’s really disgusting in here.

    He’s also asked if he can tutor from the kitchen once a week instead of going to his students’ place.

    He’s away for the weekend and I’ve texted him and said we need to talk.
    How do I go about it?
    He’s paid the last two months’ rent in advance but has about 5 months to go.
    • TSR Support Team
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    I wouldn't let her come round if this his her attitude, make them clear off out if they do anything, she has no right to have a go at you when it is her guy making the mess.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Back story: my uncle travels the world with his work and has no Base. When my gran died, he decided he needed to buy a flat and it tied perfectly in with my partner and I moving out of halls so we’ll live here for a few years/until he comes back to the UK permanently. My bf pays rent and I don't pay rent in exchange I bought all the furniture, sort out the bills, decorate, paint and sort out any problems (I'm 22). I know I'm incredibly lucky-and I'm very lucky to be going to such a great uni with my best friend (bf) I have lots of friends there and an incredibly supportive family

    When our first flatmate had to leave the university as he hadn't gotten into the second year of his PhD we had to quickly find another flatmate fast. met the new flatmate. He's friendly, a friend of a very old friend and we have similar interests. We were pretty desperate so he moved in pretty much straight away.

    Problem is he's a slob! And he doesn’t participate in helping around the house.

    One of the main reasons we liked him was because he said he acted like a parent in his undergrad halls when others were slobs and said he’s fed up with student accommodation. We made it clear this is our home not just a student flat, that he needs to chip in with chores and buying communal stuff and that it’s our home/to be respectful.

    I said I'd buy the bulk of the communal stuff, loo roll, washing stuff so long as we all chip in with the chores and they both give me a bit of money. (I organise, they pay me after)

    My boyfriend does his share perfectly but I feel like this flatmate is becoming my child. He buys mountains of sweets and smokes so much dope and pops pills in his room. (we're fine with a bit-we smoke weed too-but don't tell me you can't pay bills then spend all your money on that!) He has never once done anything to help around the house. Treads mud across the hall (cream carpet), never hoovered, or washed up, never offered to buy anything, steals my things, has broken things and hasn't replaced them, is a general slob (also need Advice- his towels stink, he never washes them and leaves them in the bathroom they are eye-watering).

    the thing that has tipped me over is an event last week; he brought a girl home (perfectly fine-he’s just split up with his gf, we’re fine with her staying over-always said his family/friends/gf can stay) but she was so arrogant and rude, telling him loudly that the place is a mess/is disgusting. I left our washing on the radiator in the front room and she said we are slobs and disgusting for using a communal area. He agreed (fine he was probs horny). He does this all the time, hanging washing on every door and leaving it for days.I recently painted the front room and the place is spotless.

    So we decided to leave them to it -I’d made cakes for my teaching job the next day and left them one, bought coffee, made sure we had enough of everything etc. shouted that we’re going to the gym then the pub and we’ll be out all evening until late-even gave him the names of a few nice pubs/restaurants as he asked-saying I’ll get them a nice table as I know the owner. Said go in the living room if you like, play ps4, gave him the netflix password...

    Next day she made more comments directly to me (hasn’t said hi at this point-went straight into his room the night before) in front of the flatmate and my bf. I was so shocked I didn’t say anything and the flatmate said yeah you really should clean up more it’s really disgusting in here.

    He’s also asked if he can tutor from the kitchen once a week instead of going to his students’ place.

    He’s away for the weekend and I’ve texted him and said we need to talk.
    How do I go about it?
    He’s paid the last two months’ rent in advance but has about 5 months to go.


    On what basis is he staying with you?

    What sort of agreement has he signed?

    What is it you want? Stay if he starts pulling his weight or leave?


    It should be you and your BF together.

    Its going to be something like

    How does he think its going because you feel he either isnt happy or it isnt working out and theres been some tension/ friction.

    1. Pay his way
    2. Do some chores.
    3. Stop leaving stuff like dirty towels etc. Not your job.
    4. House guests are rude.

    At that stage he might blow up.
    Let him have his say.
    Agree a compromise plan and to review it in a months time. to see if its working.
    Watch him not stick to it.
    If its not working just ask him to find somewhere else as the best solution

    You then have to find another lodger and also make sure he pays for any damages. You can refund him the months rent lest any deductions.

    Awkward, but you need to stand your ground otherwise he will start making it very awkward.
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    I think you need to be a bit more tolerant. You can't take a my house, my rules attitude if he is a paying tenant. It's his home too. Nothing you have said is that bad. He is by no means a nightmare flatmate.

    Most of the issues you have mentioned are standard. You think he should pay for stuff, he should do more chores and you don't like his GF. By all means ask him to pay more and do more round the house but I think, to some extent, you are just going to have to take it as being part and parcel of having a flatmate.
 
 
 
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