Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

A woman has stolen my friend Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I don't want to sound petty but I guess this situation bothered me a little more perhaps because it confirms insecurities I have about making friends. Anyway I started university last year where we often get split into two's and I always worked with a little Chinese girl who is very intelligent and I felt I got on well with. Towards the end of the first year and older woman (in her 40's) moved into our class group I'm not sure why she changed groups/classes. I first found her to be nice but very overpowering like everything I said was ignored and she led each group. Nothing wrong with that but I think if you are leading a group maybe listen to everyone else's input too. We had to work in a big group once which we had been allocated to and I tried to contribute but she said 'you know what we are better splitting up into 2 groups so we can get stuff done'.

    The other groups were managing fine as a large group so I thought why couldn't we but I didn't feel welcome so did as she said. The woman started to pair up with the Chinese girl a lot I think because the woman wanted to work with someone who was good academically to get good grades. A week ago I was sat on my own one of the first in the class. The older woman walked in and looked like she was going to sit near me but then went to sit at the other side of the room. The Chinese girl then walked in later, placed her bag next to me, was going to sit down, thought for a bit then took her bag and sat next to the older woman. I do struggle to make friends people say I'm very quiet (though nice too lol) so I guess it just upset me. It's typical though, people have always seemed to want to talk to others. I know it sounds petty but it doesn't take my feeling of annoyance away. I mean I could just reattempt to start working with both of them but I feel they don't want me to.

    Any advice hah
    • Very Important Poster
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to sound petty but I guess this situation bothered me a little more perhaps because it confirms insecurities I have about making friends. Anyway I started university last year where we often get split into two's and I always worked with a little Chinese girl who is very intelligent and I felt I got on well with. Towards the end of the first year and older woman (in her 40's) moved into our class group I'm not sure why she changed groups/classes. I first found her to be nice but very overpowering like everything I said was ignored and she led each group. Nothing wrong with that but I think if you are leading a group maybe listen to everyone else's input too. We had to work in a big group once which we had been allocated to and I tried to contribute but she said 'you know what we are better splitting up into 2 groups so we can get stuff done'.

    The other groups were managing fine as a large group so I thought why couldn't we but I didn't feel welcome so did as she said. The woman started to pair up with the Chinese girl a lot I think because the woman wanted to work with someone who was good academically to get good grades. A week ago I was sat on my own one of the first in the class. The older woman walked in and looked like she was going to sit near me but then went to sit at the other side of the room. The Chinese girl then walked in later, placed her bag next to me, was going to sit down, thought for a bit then took her bag and sat next to the older woman. I do struggle to make friends people say I'm very quiet (though nice too lol) so I guess it just upset me. It's typical though, people have always seemed to want to talk to others. I know it sounds petty but it doesn't take my feeling of annoyance away. I mean I could just reattempt to start working with both of them but I feel they don't want me to.

    Any advice hah
    I think it does sound a bit petty. I don't think there is anything wrong with her making friends with the girl and I highly doubt she is 'stealing' her from you, you don't even own her so how is it 'stealing' exactly?

    Maybe she's close to her because they work a lot together, but I think you are really overthinking this situation more than you should. If you want to be friends with this girl a little more, perhaps try asking for her contact details (FB or number) so you can talk outside of uni.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    The very important aspect of making friends and maintaining them is to communicate with each other outside the working or studying environment. You can start with a simple suggestion to have lunch together on the campus. Don't be afraid to do that.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by UWS)
    I think it does sound a bit petty. I don't think there is anything wrong with her making friends with the girl and I highly doubt she is 'stealing' her from you, you don't even own her so how is it 'stealing' exactly?

    Maybe she's close to her because they work a lot together, but I think you are really overthinking this situation more than you should. If you want to be friends with this girl a little more, perhaps try asking for her contact details (FB or number) so you can talk outside of uni.
    well 'stealing' was a bit of a joke ya know and I've not mentioned this to anyone I'm very quiet around others what I'm typing is purely my thoughts. I've certainly not acted out in anyway like kids would in primary school lol. looking at the situation objectively they did both change their mind about sitting near me and went to sit at the other side of the room lol. Though I know I can't be sure about the reasons for this. I'l just do as you say and try to be more friendly towards her
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by agrew)
    The very important aspect of making friends and maintaining them is to communicate with each other outside the working or studying environment. You can start with a simple suggestion to have lunch together on the campus. Don't be afraid to do that.
    Thanks
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 13, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.