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boyfriend barely speaks to me :/ Watch

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    I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, we never argue and we always speak politely and affectionately to each other. We Skype daily or every other day or so for an hour (I don't even ask to, he asks to Skype). However, he's never been a texter, and he just doesn't text me unless I text first, if I don't we'll just go the entire day without talking. He's not even asking to Skype anymore. I feel disconnected and like he's losing interest. I know he's busy with exam revision, but so am I, we're both doing 7-8 hours of revision per day but I still make time for him.

    If I ask him, then he genuinely doesn't understand what the issue is and how I could even doubt his feelings, he says I'm getting frustrated over something very 'minor'. I feel like we barely even talk and then I end up being the same as in barely talking to him too, which makes my situation worse. I don't know what to do.
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    If he was losing interest for whatever reason, he could bring it up with me. I asked him why he wasn't speaking and he said we did Skype last night, but it's been a whole day and he doesn't even say a hello, I'm sick of initiating every conversation, I don't like the feeling of 'chasing' someone when I'm supposed to be in a relationship with them. Note: he hasn't been on whatsapp all day, or anything else so I think he's just busy studying, but not even a single message :/
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    Stop initiating, see if he bothers then
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, we never argue and we always speak politely and affectionately to each other. We Skype daily or every other day or so for an hour (I don't even ask to, he asks to Skype). However, he's never been a texter, and he just doesn't text me unless I text first, if I don't we'll just go the entire day without talking. He's not even asking to Skype anymore. I feel disconnected and like he's losing interest. I know he's busy with exam revision, but so am I, we're both doing 7-8 hours of revision per day but I still make time for him.

    If I ask him, then he genuinely doesn't understand what the issue is and how I could even doubt his feelings, he says I'm getting frustrated over something very 'minor'. I feel like we barely even talk and then I end up being the same as in barely talking to him too, which makes my situation worse. I don't know what to do.
    How long relationship/ have you met? What do you plan to do after Uni? It could simply be stress and they are a lot of effort to keep going. Some people hate text. You have to be a bit flexible, I would just get on with your own stuff for a while. If he loses interest then he loses interest. Chill a bit and try not to fret.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, we never argue and we always speak politely and affectionately to each other. We Skype daily or every other day or so for an hour (I don't even ask to, he asks to Skype). However, he's never been a texter, and he just doesn't text me unless I text first, if I don't we'll just go the entire day without talking. He's not even asking to Skype anymore. I feel disconnected and like he's losing interest. I know he's busy with exam revision, but so am I, we're both doing 7-8 hours of revision per day but I still make time for him.

    If I ask him, then he genuinely doesn't understand what the issue is and how I could even doubt his feelings, he says I'm getting frustrated over something very 'minor'. I feel like we barely even talk and then I end up being the same as in barely talking to him too, which makes my situation worse. I don't know what to do.
    Comes a time where you can only take so much, thing may now is the time to cut your losses and finish it with him, to me he doesn't sound like he is bothered.
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    (Original post by cupcakes87)
    Stop initiating, see if he bothers then
    yeah that's exactly what I'm doing, it feels weird. I haven't spoken to him at all, all day and I simply won't until he realises at some point that he actually has a girlfriend he hasn't messaged in however long.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Comes a time where you can only take so much, thing may now is the time to cut your losses and finish it with him, to me he doesn't sound like he is bothered.
    this is what I think too, I feel like he simply doesn't think about me, or wonder what I'm doing like I do with him. Yet, whenever we speak, he'll go on and on about how much he missed me, and will just gaze at me for ages and say I love you about 5 times making me think he is very interested. I even say things like 'well if you missed me that much.. why didn't you just text' and he doesn't even know what to say. Maybe in past relationships, he only spoke to his girlfriend twice a week or something, I don't know but with my ex we'd at least try to keep in touch once a day whether it be by text, call, Skype, anything!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this is what I think too, I feel like he simply doesn't think about me, or wonder what I'm doing like I do with him. Yet, whenever we speak, he'll go on and on about how much he missed me, and will just gaze at me for ages and say I love you about 5 times making me think he is very interested. I even say things like 'well if you missed me that much.. why didn't you just text' and he doesn't even know what to say. Maybe in past relationships, he only spoke to his girlfriend twice a week or something, I don't know but with my ex we'd at least try to keep in touch once a day whether it be by text, call, Skype, anything!
    Lack of effort is a turn off for sure, it plays on your mind and weighs you down. It is not good for your health either, you could try and see if he does contact you without you contacting him first but it don't sound like he will change sadly.
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    Reminds me of my first and only relationship tbh. My ex-girlfriend didn't put in the effort - i was initiating conversation, sending cute messages and all that romantic shizz.. in the end, I felt as though it was just me so I ended it.

    Relationships work both ways. If the other person isn't putting the same if not more effort into your relationship then you should talk to them about it and if it doesn't improve, end it.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    How long relationship/ have you met? What do you plan to do after Uni? It could simply be stress and they are a lot of effort to keep going. Some people hate text. You have to be a bit flexible, I would just get on with your own stuff for a while. If he loses interest then he loses interest. Chill a bit and try not to fret.
    we've been together for 6 months now. After uni, I'm going to hopefully look for a job in my field. I think he overworks to be honest, even when his exams are 2 months away, he's sat revising 8 hours everyday. Yesterday, when we skyped, he spoke to me half the time, and half the time he was just writing away, which I thought was kind of hypocritical considering he flat out told me he doesn't like when I focus on things like YouTube and not him during the video call. I've been getting on with my own things, I've been revising for 7-8 hours daily, but I do still check my phone every now and then hoping to get even a text, but nothing, and I just feel really disappointed and neglected. At this rate, even if he hasn't lost interest, I will.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Lack of effort is a turn off for sure, it plays on your mind and weighs you down. It is not good for your health either, you could try and see if he does contact you without you contacting him first but it don't sound like he will change sadly.
    yes you've got it exactly right. He doesn't put in as much effort as he could, it does turn me off and every few days, I sit questioning whether he even loves me anymore because he rarely communicates with me and I just feel down. I end up feeling really lonely in the relationship, yet he gives me really contradictory answers, saying 'how could you think I don't want to speak with you?! You know how much I love you', and I get so confused.

    I will simply stop initiating conversations with him, I'll let him initiate about 4-5x. After we don't speak for like 2 days (has happened in the past), suddenly it becomes really easy to just not speak to him and I don't feel sad anymore, which is good but bad too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    we've been together for 6 months now. After uni, I'm going to hopefully look for a job in my field. I think he overworks to be honest, even when his exams are 2 months away, he's sat revising 8 hours everyday. Yesterday, when we skyped, he spoke to me half the time, and half the time he was just writing away, which I thought was kind of hypocritical considering he flat out told me he doesn't like when I focus on things like YouTube and not him during the video call. I've been getting on with my own things, I've been revising for 7-8 hours daily, but I do still check my phone every now and then hoping to get even a text, but nothing, and I just feel really disappointed and neglected. At this rate, even if he hasn't lost interest, I will.

    The thats a fair thing to tell him. maybe not as brutally. Just agree if you talk every day or every other day that you both give each other full attention. Quality better than quantity. he might have run out of things to say though it wouldnt be unreasonable imo to talk just once a week till after the exams. Dont let too much of your life revolve around him imo. You just have different expectations. Six months isnt that long.

    If you stress too much then things snap, so be a bit flexible and adapt. You cna suggest small changes, but dont be a nag.
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    (Original post by Someboady)
    Reminds me of my first and only relationship tbh. My ex-girlfriend didn't put in the effort - i was initiating conversation, sending cute messages and all that romantic shizz.. in the end, I felt as though it was just me so I ended it.

    Relationships work both ways. If the other person isn't putting the same if not more effort into your relationship then you should talk to them about it and if it doesn't improve, end it.
    you're right, I'll just not speak to him until he decides to talk to me, and then I suppose I'll just ask why he hasn't spoken to me in however many days it will be and see what possible excuse he has. I just hate to come across clingy and annoying to him, but at the same time I don't think I am being clingy? I don't constantly ask to call, meet up, bombard him with texts at all. Even ONE text would be enough. I feel like I'm just single most of the time.
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    Yea.

    You talk to them politely about it, nothing changes.

    So you start *****ing about it,nothing Changes.

    Then you make yourself go nuts trying, they cal you crazy.

    You're not getting what you want out of a relationship get out before you fall deeper and it becomes harder.

    Lack of effort speaks volumes don't ignore it.
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    Yea.

    You talk to them politely about it, nothing changes.

    So you start *****ing about it,nothing Changes.

    Then you make yourself go nuts trying, they cal you crazy.

    You're not getting what you want out of a relationship get out before you fall deeper and it becomes harder.

    Lack of effort speaks volumes don't ignore it.
    exactly. Last time he went 3 full days without talking, at which point I snapped and got sick of him not speaking, so I caved in and talked to him first. He could tell he'd made me mad by not speaking to me, and I told him that when he doesn't speak to me for ages, I do miss him a lot and end up feeling like he simply doesn't want to speak to me for some reason. He said that was silly, and that he always wants to speak to me and he missed me too, and apologised a lot.

    His words make no sense, how can he go on about missing me when he can't even pick up his phone to even call or text, you know? He knows full well I don't like it, yet he's done it again. It's hard to leave him because he is everything I've wanted in a guy and I look up to him in ways and admire him, but his communication is ****.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    exactly. Last time he went 3 full days without talking, at which point I snapped and got sick of him not speaking, so I caved in and talked to him first. He could tell he'd made me mad by not speaking to me, and I told him that when he doesn't speak to me for ages, I do miss him a lot and end up feeling like he simply doesn't want to speak to me for some reason. He said that was silly, and that he always wants to speak to me and he missed me too, and apologised a lot.

    His words make no sense, how can he go on about missing me when he can't even pick up his phone to even call or text, you know? He knows full well I don't like it, yet he's done it again. It's hard to leave him because he is everything I've wanted in a guy and I look up to him in ways and admire him, but his communication is ****.
    Idk what kind of relationship goes on three days without speaking in 2017.

    That's not cool. Welcome to the world of relationships, no one knows how to do em.
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    Idk what kind of relationship goes on three days without speaking in 2017.

    That's not cool. Welcome to the world of relationships, no one knows how to do em.
    I know it's ridiculous, I knew it wasn't normal. I just justified it to myself by saying okay maybe in past relationships, they spoke very little and he's picked up this habit. I directly asked him once how often a week he prefers we speak, he replied 'everyday, what do you think?', the things he says are the opposite of his actions
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    Don't initiate and watch what happens.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it's ridiculous, I knew it wasn't normal. I just justified it to myself by saying okay maybe in past relationships, they spoke very little and he's picked up this habit. I directly asked him once how often a week he prefers we speak, he replied 'everyday, what do you think?', the things he says are the opposite of his actions
    Actions speak louder than words.

    Keep ur options open.

    He's not into it, when a guy wants you you'll have no doubts.
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    Actions speak louder than words.

    Keep ur options open.

    He's not into it, when a guy wants you you'll have no doubts.
    Exactly, believe me I have busy days too. Just like him I'm studying hard everyday for hours, going to university lectures, and I make time for the gym daily so I'm doing more than him AND numerous times I've skipped the gym or said no to other commitments because it clashed with what time he wanted to Skype and I never complain. Despite how tired I may be, I always make time for him and I never say no to when he wants to speak because I think that's just being a good girlfriend. I literally put 100% into us and it's just annoying not getting it back. My friends all know this too because I've brought it up with them repeatedly everytime he does it, now they're all so used to hearing the same thing, they just think he doesn't take our relationship seriously and I'm starting to believe it too.
 
 
 
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