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Missing lectures because of homesickness.... Should I tell my tutors the truth? Watch

    • Thread Starter
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    Hi,
    Just need a little advice, for past two weeks I've been really homesick so I've just decided to go home a week earlier than planned which will result in me missing some lectures (I rarely miss lectures)

    When emailing my tutors to let them know I won't be attending their lecture should I tell them I won't be in cos I've went home early because I've been really homesick? Or should I just say I've had to go home earlier than expected because of personal reasons?

    We are a small cohort so our tutors keep track of our absences.

    What do you think?
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    Do you have a personal tutor? If so, mention this to that person and ask their advice, and for the other lecturers just let them know you can't make it. If they insist on knowing why (probably won't), you can say personal reasons.

    And of course make sure you catch up on any work.
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    Do you mean professors? Or tutors? You should keep it short and sweet. Tell them that you're leaving earlier due to personal reasons. They likely won't push for the exact reason and 'excuse' you momentarily as you gave them early notification of your absence. If they do ask for details, you don't need to answer. Just tell them that you're uncomfortable sharing since it is personal, but that you're sorry and will be absent. To be blunt, they're not your parents so they likely don't care about the exact details of your life and just want to know you're not skipping for no apparent reason without warning.

    I would recommend learning to cope with this, though. It's important to learn how to deal with these kinds of things in general, and especially when your grades may be at stake.
    • Very Important Poster
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    or you could pass it off as a family matter. I would add in the fact you had made arrangements with one of the other students so you could catch up on what was taught. Agree lecturers wont care and that way it shows you are responsible. Maybe contact student support when you get back or see your GP. Short trips home can help, but really if its years, then running away becomes a bit impractical.
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    Well in my experience you're responsible for your own learning so lecturers won't interfere with your attendance or question you so say whatever you want as a reason. I would say that giving in to the homesickness doesn't really help long term - you need to learn how to manage on your own.
    • Aston Villa FC Supporter
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    grow a pair
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    Suck it up. You're not paying 9k a year to cry yourself a river over missing home. Go and get the education that you rightfully deserve.
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    As above... you need to grow up!
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    After hearing from many other accounts, it seems to happen to many people but it is something that you need to get over with because at the end of the day, you are going to be living by yourself when you leave uni anyway.

    I would recommend that you do not miss your lectures but if you can, visit your parents over the weekend.
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    I would say i was REALLY ill instead.
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    No; claim 'nondescript malaise'. About as credible an excuse, but unlike homesickness it at least has connotations of actual illness rather than general inability to function as an adult.
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    Can't help with the uni thing, only homesickness. When i started boarding this year I was so so homesick. I found looking at photos of home certainly did NOT help, althoug friends messaging me about how my day went etc did. It was useful to speak to my parents but i found hours on the phone pretty unsettling. I guess what I'm saying is don't cling to home, call friends not family and talk about whats currently happening at uni and what will happen xx
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    (Original post by swhite526)
    Hi,
    Just need a little advice, for past two weeks I've been really homesick so I've just decided to go home a week earlier than planned which will result in me missing some lectures (I rarely miss lectures)

    When emailing my tutors to let them know I won't be attending their lecture should I tell them I won't be in cos I've went home early because I've been really homesick? Or should I just say I've had to go home earlier than expected because of personal reasons?

    We are a small cohort so our tutors keep track of our absences.

    What do you think?
    Do you have a personal tutor, and are they aware of how you're struggling with homesickness at the moment?
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    Feel for you. I suffered terribly with homesickness when I went to London. [I'm from Manchester]. But as we were dance students we were all only 16 and living away from home for three years. Although it was exciting to be living in London, which I had always wanted to experience, the reality of having to fend for myself and manage my finances; be away from my mum and my cats and my own comfy room was horrible at times. I hated having to cook my own meals at the weekends and wash my own clothes etc. We lived in a student hostel in Hampstead so they cooked our evening meals mid week. But at the weekends we had to fend for ourselves and buy our own grocery shopping etc. It was something I had never had to do before and just exacerbated the homesickness. When I did occasionally go home for a weekend I was as bored as hell and wondered why I missed it so much. But by the time we were a couple of days into the week I was homesick again, in floods of tears on to my mum on the phone. Many serious dance students go away at eleven to train for eight years; only getting home every half term and end of term. I couldn't have done it at that age. By the time I was 19 I was off to work in Paris and from there on in wasn't one bit homesick. Maybe by then I had got it all out of my system. I would just suggest you give it time. If it continues and you are really, really unhappy and it is seriously affecting your academic work, it might be worth looking into going to uni nearer to home and commuting every day.
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    Fetch a proper reason.
    • Thread Starter
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    For all those that are saying 'grow a pair', I have been away from home for 3 years and although I have suffered from homesickness I never ran home I stuck it out and eventually it passed which is what I was hoping would happen this time but unfortunately not, so I wouldn't say I need to grow a pair or suck it up. Sometimes you just need to be around family

    This is suppose to be a site for support not to make people feel worse!
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    If you're at the point where your missing lectures you need to be talking to student services / your personal tutor. Still, saying your missing a week for personal reasons shouldn't be an issue. It is best to tell them rather than stress about being pulled up about absences at a later date.
 
 
 
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