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Is my teacher being inappropriate?

There's this male member of staff at school who keeps approaching me at school/ will actively divert his path to speak to me/ catches a glimpse of me whilst walking past the study room and will come in and visit me specifically (nobody else and he seems to have no other reason to be in the study room then will walk out).

I know it sounds like 'oh, for goodness sake, he's only being friendly', however when he speaks to me he is practically in my face and it feels very intrusive (however this could be because he is a considerably overweight man, but I have seen him talk to other people and he is not nearly as much in their face as he is mine).

He hasn't said anything inappropriate to me and has NEVER tried to initiate any contact outside of school with me, but I'm convinced that he's attracted to me and it's making me feel rather uncomfortable.

I'm certainly not going to report anything because nothing has happened and I know how damaging a false allegation can be to one's career.

Do you think he may be attracted to me?

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 1

bones-mccoy

Possibly? Make it clear that he's making you uncomfortable - change your body language, lean away when he speaks to you, fold your arms. Be civil and polite but don't initiate conversation, don't talk about things that aren't directly school related. If it gets worse or is still a problem, speak to someone else about it.

Reply 2

randdom

It might be that he is attracted to you or it could be that he is being friendly. It is impossible to tell sometimes. Either way the important thing is that he is making you feel uncomfortable. I think that the advice given above is sensible. Make it clear from your body language that you aren't comfortable with the situation. Have a low threshold for talking to someone if things do progress to him making any sort of comment which you feel crosses a line. The most important thing is that you shouldn't be feeling uncomfortable at school.

Reply 3

Danielelliston

Just tell him he's making you uncomfortable

Reply 4

EternalLight

Next time he gets in your face tell him to take a step back and that talking to you in isolation all the time is making you feel uncomfortable.

Reply 5

Mair18919

I think Bones advice is good, first step, use your body language to show you feel uncomfortable by very deliberately stepping back and folding your arms defensively. Look him in the eye confidently while doing this.

If it doesn't work and he continues to act weirdly then time to speak out.

Reply 6

elifem

How old are you? First of all, please don't feel like you need to apologise for feeling uncomfortable. He is more powerful than you in this context and so you have every right to feel scared/uncomfortable and I salute you for speaking up. I would assume that you have already used body language to let him know he's making you uncomfortable. If there is a counsellor or someone you trust in the school who is older and knows the school better I would encourage you to speak with them.
I am sure it can/has to be confidential. Best case scenario he's just being friendly, but it might well be that he's behaved this way before and that he will continue making other students uncomfortable unless someone speaks up now. For what you say he is not the kind of fatherly type who just really cares about his students, he is conveying some sort of sexual attraction, and neither you nor anyone else has to put up with it. If you do speak with a counsellor or someone that knows the situation better (school psychologist, nurse, a close teacher, parent, whatever) just be honest and try to think of others who might experience the same whom you would be helping.