What&#x27;s the difference between girlfriend material and a friend with benefits?

King Hippo

I was always under the impression that when it comes to a "friend with benefits" you aren't "tied" to that person and are still free to see other people. You can have sex with them but don't need to commit solely to that person.

But I thought that was an "open relationship"? Unless that and "friends with benefits" are the same thing? :confused:

Friends with benefits - well I see it as like, when two people are just friends and they're not committed to each other and they don't have obligation to see each other, but they can as and when they both want to. And then in that situation they're both comfortable enough to kiss and do other sexual stuff, and presumably sex too. But no hard feelings if one or the other refuses or ends such an arrangement.

And an open relationship, I see it as you do have the obligation and responsibility to see your girlfriend/boyfriend but you're at the same time allowed to see other people. But so there's a form of small commitment there.

And casual relationship as, the responsibility is there and you're not allowed to see other people, but it's nothing serious, not really going anywhere and can end as and when either one feels like it with no hard feelings.

And serious relationships - well, everyone knows what that is lol.

Reply 4

khil

Zoecb

Why you asking men??

It's very simple for me - a FWB is someone you have a sexual connection with, but not much else. If there was more, then surely a relationship would be on the cards.

It's prefectly possible to have lots of physical attraction and great sex with someone you otherwise have nothing in common with and not all that much interest in - THAT'S your **** buddy.

The bit I highlighted - that confuses me, since if you're really friends, then there's definitely a little more than sexual connection - but then you say then a relationship should be in view... which then makes it not FWB?? :confused:

So what's the difference between a FWB and a ******* buddy? :confused:

Reply 5

a "FWB" is just a shag-buddy. You don't have to love them, respect them, stay faithful to them. They can be that ass-hole from your course that you could never stand to be in a relationship with but still really fancy. If you want to get pedantic, a ****-buddy is a lower grade than a FWB, as with the FWB the idea is that you are mates already. But seriously, who wants to end up in a relationship with all their mates? You must have some mates that are not the kind of people you would want to date?

And, well duh, for a relationship you need love and trust etc.

Reply 6

Laursy

10

And whats the difference between the two things?

sex without the nagging i would have thought was the difference

Reply 7

Zoecb

11

irisng

The bit I highlighted - that confuses me, since if you're really friends, then there's definitely a little more than sexual connection - but then you say then a relationship should be in view... which then makes it not FWB?? :confused:

Acquaintances then... I don't recommend shagging a really close best friend, but maybe someone you know and like a ceratin amount as a person but wouldn't really have much reason to spend extensive time with.

So what's the difference between a FWB and a ******* buddy? :confused:

I wasn't personally making a distinction between the two, but I suppose you could do.

Reply 8

khil

Zoecb

Acquaintances then... I don't recommend shagging a really close best friend, but maybe someone you know and like a ceratin amount as a person but wouldn't really have much reason to spend extensive time with.

I wasn't personally making a distinction between the two, but I suppose you could do.

Heh, now I get it. Now I get it.

Reply 9

ginag123

OP

Lol but what if you DO shag a really close best friend zoe? what if you have a sexual connection and you get along really well... then whats the difference...

Reply 10

L0RA

9

ginag123

Lol but what if you DO shag a really close best friend zoe? what if you have a sexual connection and you get along really well... then whats the difference...

Then surely you'd think about starting a relationship with that person?

Reply 11

SmilerNuts

L0RA

Then surely you'd think about starting a relationship with that person?

That would be the obvious answer... :p:

Reply 12

You can get along really well with someone and still not want to be in a relationship with them.

Reply 13

L0RA

9

Schmokie Dragon

You can get along really well with someone and still not want to be in a relationship with them.

Exactly but surely theres a reason why you wouldnt want a relationship with them.

Reply 14

Not necessarily. Love isn't a matter of making check lists of pros vs cons. They might be a great person, and a great friend, but you just don't have that spark.

Doesn't stop you shagging them though :p:

Reply 15

The Strangest Quark

Schmokie Dragon

Not necessarily. Love isn't a matter of making check lists of pros vs cons. They might be a great person, and a great friend, but you just don't have that spark.

Doesn't stop you shagging them though :p:

Agreed.
I see it as **** buddy = person you have a purely sexual relationship with.
Friend with benefits = someone who is a good friend, who you also happen to be shagging, but don't *love*.

Reply 16

Cj-Tj

Get the wrong side of the line, and FWB or **** buddies, goes oh so terribly terribly wrong. :frown:

Reply 17

SmilerNuts

Cj-Tj

Get the wrong side of the line, and FWB or **** buddies, goes oh so terribly terribly wrong. :frown:

Talking from personal experience?

Reply 18

ginag123

OP

Terribly wrong? Oh, I can imagine.

Thing is, reason I ask, there's this guy who I have been friends with for like 2 years now. (He's an international student and he's going back to his country for good in January) We slept together a few times last year and now I think he wants to do it again... on a more regular basis, cos it was great. He was like my best friend though and I developed feelings for him before, so I don't know whether or not to start a 'friends with benefits' thing, because I don't want to develop feelings for him again and then have him leave (I'm pretty sure I will). Plus there's some other girl in his home country who he is in love with. I was just wondering what the difference was between me & her! And why he sees one of us as a friend with benefits.. and one as a potential girlfriend.

Reply 19