The Student Room Group

Women who don't want children

I hope I've posted this in the right place...

I literally have no maternal instinct, I never have so I'm not sure why that would change anytime soon. I'm just curious to know what others reasons are for wanting or not wanting children? :curious:

It's when people say to me "oh, when you have kids of your own..." Wait - why are you assuming I want them? I realise women are pretty much biologically programmed to want children but I just don't have that feeling. Personally I don't understand why you'd put yourself through the stress of it. I heard one woman say "I'd rather die than not be able to have children."
I don't feel the need to bring another life into the world to bring meaning to my own life.

I've often heard women say it's selfish for not wanting children. Why is it? Ideally women have children when they feel ready and they're at a good point in their life emotionally/financially so surely that's selfish? What about all the eggs you've lost in your life through periods that 'didn't make it' just because you weren't ready? You don't mourn after every period and say "well if that egg had been fertilised, that could have been a child..." Just by having 1 or 2 or 3 children, doesn't make you any less selfish considering a woman is born with about 2 million eggs in her body. It's physically impossible to give life to every single egg.

I genuinely think the world's over-populated as it is, the planet doesn't need any more people. Not to mention the sort of world a child would be coming into anyway e.g war, cancer rates rising.

Rant over :creep: *walks away quietly*

Any thoughts?
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 1
I don't like children. I have a superiority complex so I think most children are stupid. I have next to no maternal instinct either.

I also have numerous mental health issues which are severe. If I got pregnant, I think it would damage me massively and could potentially harm me mentally, permanently. I also don't want to bring a child into this world with the risk of potentially also ending up with MH issues themselves. I believe that would be so selfish of me.
It's not selfish. It's your life, so you should do what's right for you.
I'm scared of the pain :yep:
I dont think it's selfish to not want children, if you don't want children then that's a personal choice and it's one that shouldn't be judged.

I've always wanted to have a couple of kids, I'm very maternal and like caring for people, i think the world has always been a bad place and i do wonder how much worse it will be in 3-4 years when we start a family but i just hope to teach them to see the good in the world and give them a better childhood than my own.
Your choice, and no one should judge you for not wanting to have kids. Simple.
I love kids. Couldn't eat a whole one though.

40 child free heading towards

Reply 7
I'm the same. Said from a young age that I don't want children and even while being in a relationship for the last eight years and falling pregnant by accident and having an abortion, my views still haven't changed. I've had the whole "you'll change your mind", "you're selfish for not wanting them and for the abortion", "who'll look after you when you are older?!" lectures and it all goes in one ear and out the other.

I've never been a kid person. I don't know what to do when they are around, they make me feel uncomfortable and irritated etc but that's not my biggest reason for not having them as I'm sure all that changes when you have your own. I just don't feel the need or desire to have them. To me it's like some people like dogs but will never have one. I like some kids but I'd never want one of my own. I'm happy being an aunt to my friends kids.

Me and my partner are happy just sticking with pets and our families support our choices so that's all that matters.



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you are not the only one and it is no-one elses business anyway. your life, your choices

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